Noble Laika, Hero of the People, Noble Space Dog, hear our prayer.

I woke up this morning and found that Joe the Plumber had not committed suicide. I know that our friends in the media were crushed to be pulled off the reading list of the Wasilla Public Library to see what Nazi tracts Sarah Palin had checked out just to destroy Joe the Plumber who dared ask a question of the Chosen One. It doesn't matter that Joe the Plumber was in his own front yard, or that the Chosen One spoke to him. He dared ask the Chosen One a question without the ritual groveling.

Have the brains of our friends in the media been frozen by the harsh conditions in Alaska? That is my only explanation for in normal times Joe the Plumber would have had his credit wrecked by now, his trash gone through with an electron microscope, friends out of the past with Klan associations dredged up, even if they'd never met him, and all the misspellings in his third-grade papers printed nationally to show what an idiot he is.

Noble Laika, from your orbiting capsule, beam down the Current Truth™ to our friends in the media.

Who have by now removed the fur linings of their tin-foil hats which kept the reception of your noble orders from beaming in straight. And true. Or currently true.

Comrade Theocritus!

I have re-adjusted your signal and replaced the Z-1957 vacuum tube that caused the minor malfunction.

Signal1

I'm tuning into your signal, comrade Laika!

Ah, the gloriousness of the wonderful Seatle-Post-Pravda. If Comrade Obama committed arson, they would join in the hunt to destroy the person who sold him the matches.

Opiate, I think that they are more efficient than that. They would hunt down the family of the crippled woman who died in the fire and sue the executor of her estate for her not leaving the matches out on the front porch so that he didn't have to buy them.

Well, it was HER fault for being in the building when the arsonist decided to burn it, was it not? Society causes maladaptive behaviors in such individuals by its greed, lack of compassion, bellicosity, etc, etc. So to blame the criminal for his or her actions is to blame the victim while letting the real perpetrator, society, off the hook. But, since we cannot blame the apparent perpetrator (in reality, the victim) but we must punish SOMEONE for this crime, we must choose the apparent victim and make her proxy for society-at-large. Y, it is all perfectly logical.

Signal2

Laika, glorious Laika Space Dog, thank you for your second signal. I had thought that we leftists had lost our will for battle but I see that <i>The Washington Post</i> is still in there. Who else could apply such Talmudic precision of analysis, to slice and dice, out of sheer meanness? It makes this socialist's eyes tear up in admiration. The sneering! The condescension! "Let them eat cake" has nothing on this.

<character>
Opiate, this is fun but the essential element of any religion, supernatural or secular, is somehow to separate actions from consequences to avoid that feeling of being ultimately alone. When the final repository of responsibility is something secular which can be tampered with at will, it comes as no surprise that it is soon dragooned by the meanest and greediest into autocracy.
<on>
By all means. It is the fault of society. For if it's the fault of the woman who burned to death, where's the fun in that? If it's the fault of society, we get to tamper with society. And that makes me feel real big and lets me ignore the fact of my own existence and the requirement that I tend to my own personal salvation myself.

No, Blogunov, you don't need to remind me. And orphanages are expendable too. My trifecta is proving that Bushonomics caused a Downs-syndrome child with a one-legged kitten to freeze alone in a cold-water apartment in Miami.

Stands to reason.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:No, Blogunov, you don't need to remind me. And orphanages are expendable too. My trifecta is proving that Bushonomics caused a Downs-syndrome child with a one-legged kitten to freeze alone in a cold-water apartment in Miami.

Stands to reason.

When serving as a young officer in mountainous Lhasa, I heard of this tragic scenario often. I always suspected Bush was to blame even then, but had not the wisdom or knowledge to connect the dots.

Yes, Mousey-Tongue. If there's something wrong, it is Bush's fault. Remember that as a mantra.

<i>Bush's fault. Bush's fault</i>.

Once Our Many Titted Empress was complaining that she'd gained weight. I forewent telling her that eating a three pounds of Texas Millionaires (like turtles but better) a day might be the cause. She was very pleased to blame it on Bush.

Then she wanted to repeal the law of gravityl