Most loyal Progressive Comrades,

You know I do not like to disparage other comrades, but as we know, being a faithful Prog is more important, so thusly I find that I must point out a problematic problem with Comradette Leninka.


I just happened to find this most accurate photo in my top secret filling cabinet by pure chance, and thought to myself, "myself, this is a problem." You will note that our own little Leninka appears to be saving and hording forbidden, dangerous, UnApproved Obama light bulbs, instead of the Obama Approved Mercury bulbs.


I can't imagine why, Leninka would be hording forbidden light bulbs unless she could be selling for profit at some future, unnamed date, which of course, is discourage and punishable by 25 years in prison.

But, we shall not find Leninka guilty without a through, investigative discussion, shall we fellow comrades and proles? Although, I just happened to find yet another photo for her explanation. . . and am feeling most discouraged.

I come to the defense of Leninka.

Over in Europe ( the enlightened land ), some are able to sell incandescent bulbs by re-labeling them as personal heaters. That's quite clever.

Our Leninka of The Cube Collective is simply stockpiling these heaters for use when Global Cooling covers everything in ice.



I should think that we should thank her for her preparedness !

( Note: Children with warm hands are more likely to catch the rats we'll need supplement our diminishing protein supplies.)

I can hardly believe my eyes (probably because it's so dim in here because of those damn CFL bulbs). Leninka hording heat balls? I refuse to believe it. Unless of course I'm named as a co-conspirator, in which case I'll confess to everything, throw myself on the mercy of the court and cooperate fully in exposing her vile treachery.

(Oh, Leninka, do you have any 60 and 100 watt heat balls for sale? The plastic base on those CFL's melt and catch fire in my oven.)

Such loyalty to our own, will not go forgotten.... even after the trials. I do not have the latest information on lightbulbs for heaters, so we will have to wait for the Daily/Monthly Updated Newly Released Memo on Lightery. But, I too, regardless of the evidence, must be thinking Leninka is thinking she is doing a good thing (and after all, we all must eat and save for the dark, dark future).

Comrade Whoopie, those 100 wattage bulbery's are NO LONGER available, since they are cause the world to heat ... or cool... whichever!! (I am thinking Leninka may have one she can be bribed out of for the correct price)

Comrade Fraulein,

Looks as if you've got me over a heat bulb. No, I mean, I, I, I, well, um, Comrade Krasnodor is absolutely correct. These bulbs are for the collective to keep us warm while the masses freeze and make do with the spaghetti noodle low heat but good for the planet bulbs, even with their mercury content.

Just think! You'll have plenty of bulbs to keep up your tan, too? Now, I'd hate to see you turn pale as a ghost for lack of light.

In the meantime, how about a trade? I'll destroy all evidence against your throwing banana peels from the top of Ho's tomb, I (fingers crossed behind my back) promise.

ummm, this might be a plan. . . except I was not throwing! That was just a misunderstanding and a bad, inaccurate photograph, someone mistakenly mistook for myself. But I will take your word that you are not hording for profit (but if you happen to make any money by mistake, please feel free to redistribute some my way and the photos shall disappear.... by MISTAKE)

Comrades Leninka and Pulloskies, the Central Committee absolutely does not approve of potential show trial evidence being discarded accidentally by mistake unless (a) a Central Committee member happens to also be implicated by it -or- (b) appropriate influence permits are purchased from the Central Committee Evidence Disposal Office and Vacation Fund. I trust their position is clear to both of you. Honesty and Duty come before any personal considerations. You can leave the money in the usual place.

Comrade Opiate,

Hold on a cotton picking minute! I'm rethinking this whole thing. All publicity is good, isn't it? Whether it's Fraulein perched atop HO's Corpse Side Show, or me advertising heat bulbs, what difference does it make.

I won't leave you any money, but you might find an extra 100 watter in your MarxMas stocking next year.

Leninka, you're right in that all publicity is good. This is the age when "famous," "infamous," "notorious," and "celebrated" all mean the same thing. This is the Google age, when all that matters is attention and not what it's about.

I aver, opine and state: all that matters is attention. That's how we get the big lie down too.

But what is all this noise about banning those 100W bulbs? How will our young comrades learn to bake for the homeless shelters if their Greasy-Bake ovens have no heating source?

Comrade Theocritus,

No communist state works all that well without a generous infusion of profits either from black market activity, or some foolish tourist from Amerikka (when it comes to tipping, the Germans and French are notoriously stingy--at least that's what the natives in the People's Republic of China say). With this logic, there is a good chance that the black market exchange of 100 watters, coupled with the underground economic activity of undocumented workers may very well be the salvation of the People's State of California.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:Leninka, you're right in that all publicity is good. This is the age when "famous," "infamous," "notorious," and "celebrated" all mean the same thing. This is the Google age, when all that matters is attention and not what it's about.

Father Prog, in the name of fairness and equality, the Warhol quip about everyone being famous for 15 minutes is now a legal requirement, to be enforced by the new Department of Celebrity.

Comrades, our very own People's Investigator, Lt. Just_a_Car will be on hand to provide any and all evidence required. Requests for the creation of special evidence should be directed to him. This is of course in addition to any other evidence found, created or imagined as needed.

Leninka wrote:With this logic, there is a good chance that the black market exchange of 100 watters, coupled with the underground economic activity of undocumented workers may very well be the salvation of the People's State of California.

You have the makings here of a swell economic recovery plan which will save the Golden People's Republic of California from being crushed by the mountain of debt which was foisted upon them by greedy Wall St. bankers and Sarah Palin. How does this sound.... the state confiscates climate-disrupting 100-watt incandescent light bulbs and distributes them to the underpriviledged undocumented Democrats workers for them to sell to whomever wishes to buy them. As soon as they are sold, agents rush in and re-confiscate the illegal bulbs for subsequent re-distribution (I love that word) and the cycle repeats. So you see here we have the makings of an economic perpetual motion machine by which the deserving poor are enriched, the evil rich are enpoored and the state has a bunch of new taxpaying entrepreneur businesspersons running their own roadside lightbulb stands (sort of like the progressive version of Amway.) This is an idea Comrade Governor Brown is sure to love.

Excellent point Opiate, where would the Soviet Union's economy have been if not for black marketeers selling otherwise unobtainable state subsidized items in back alleys at twice the free market price?

Naturally the Party would frown on such activities and harsh penalties would be imposed on any black marketeer would didn't pay a sizable share of their loot to us for protection.

(Gosh I'm gonna love Obama's new economy)

Olé!

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrades, our very own People's Investigator, Lt. Just_a_Car will be on hand to provide any and all evidence required. Requests for the creation of special evidence should be directed to him. This is of course in addition to any other evidence found, created or imagined as needed.

Said like a true Prog. This has long been the duty of our Media Comrades at the usual places (NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, CNN, NPR) so we must give them their dues, but to see Lt. Just_a_Car step up to the plate with new evidence, is most relieving and exciting.

As for Comrade Whoopie's "black marketeers" I must denounce that as sounding racist . . . but on the other hand, we all know progressive are never racist so that is a moot point. And on the third hand, he has a pointed point to make. Black, Hispanic or Asian Marketeers selling state subsided items in back or front alley's, could be profitable for the collective on the whole. I believe the key is that they pay their (sizable) share to the collective, via our benevolent government.

What the hell is this?!

aaakk! Comrade INGSOC, I am not believing what I am seeing. This appears to be blant c-c-c...capitalism?
cough cough well, I am sure there is an explanation to lining her pocket with cash and I am, umm, sure she is willing to pay her (more than) fair share to benevolent government. After all, the needy are waiting on more TARP monies.... to buy a new car I've been eying.

Ok, in defense of Leninka let me explain the capitalist definition of wholesale. That's when you sell something for virtually the same price you paid for it. Retail is when you make an outrageous profit.

Don't ask me how I know this stuff, I just do. Ok, ok, it was explained to me by a capitalist while he was being tortured questioned at Party HQ.

(Leninka, you owe me a case of 100 watter's for this)

Whoopie, I think we are seeing why you are running to Leninka's defense, from this previously undisclosed photo. I am thinking those illegal 100 watt bulbs are already lurking in your basement.

Comrades,

Why do you all want these pathetic non-mercury bulbs, when breaking a new CFL bulb is like having a Jifi-Lobo?

(Quick note: As self-appointed Commissar, I will need mostly intact brain to help guide the Kollective to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday ™. So I demand my 100 watters. Its only fair, and for the Common Good ™)

This continues to get more... unfortunate.

I am proud to see that each time the photo appears, it is to incriminate someone new who was not previously incriminated. This is such a big advance over the old days when our technicians could only remove images from a photo. Technology is certainly making everything more efficient, including government!

Whatt!! Comrade Ingsoc!! How dare you? You were the passenger in that truck. And that green dragon was your stinky Aunt Putschka trying to get at those light bulbs before we brought them back to the gulag. You know what a hoarder she is.

Leninka wrote:Whatt!! Comrade Ingsoc!! How dare you? You were the passenger in that truck. And that green dragon was your stinky Aunt Putschka trying to get at those light bulbs before we brought them back to the gulag. You know what a hoarder she is.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Leninka, you make me laugh! HAHAHAHA!

First you accuse the accuser supplier of supplemntal evidence!! Verry good!

Next you pretend that you do not recognize Lord Cthulhu, the spawn of hell, summoned by the teabags and minion of Palin! Do you not read your monthly ration of Prog Fantasy Magazine!?!? Do you expect us to believe that you don't read the most trustworthy news outlet on the web, The Peoples Blog?!?!

Yes! We had high hopes for Lord Cthulhu but I fear all is lost due to his unholy desire for incandescent light. This proves beyond a doubt his vile and hateful nature! AND you're supplying him!!

In fairness (which you clearly do not deserve) I admit a striking resemblance between He and my Aunt Putschka. That said it is obvious to anyone who has had the pleasure of meeting my dear aunt that her beard is made of human pubis hair and not octopus tentacles! (you are very mean, she really liked you after you complimented the body and natural sheen of her facial hair)

Whoopie attempts to excuse your kkkapitalist venture by claiming "wholesale" is for the People! The reality is it is a dishonest capitalist ploy to take advantage of unwary workers who think they are getting a fair shake while you fleece away!

Tell me Leninka, does Bat Boy enjoy his trips to your corner to pick up his Nobama Bulbs!?

Bat Boy? Again? Talk about Freudian projection, when he's your Friday night vodka and cigarette partner. Bat Boy may be a customer, but he's working on a very important classified project in the making of a revolutionary heat bulb powered flying garment.

a word to wise comrades,

Those who live in glass accommodations should not cast solid airborne projectiles at persons outside their structure.

Comrade Tooorisky wrote:a word to wise comrades,

Those who live in glass accommodations should not cast solid airborne projectiles at persons outside their structure.

I wondered when you'd join us...

Care to explain?

I am very proud of our talented progressive, photo's which can be made clearer and clearer as time progressive (is not progressiveness next to Obamaness?).
But I am wondering if Lord Cthulhu is not forcing Leninka to drive his own truck. Look at the fear and concern on her face. I am sure he's threatened her with the appearance of Sarah Palin or Limbaugh if she did not do his bidding. He's probably has even used uncivil speech.

Shhhhhhh. His real name is Rusty . Don't tell the reactionaries and fascist stooges. Please compare this photo with contact agent files. All is going according to plan. To all N. Afrikan SMERSH colleagues: FALAFEL IS NOW IN THE PITA