Comrades! A glorious new discovery indeed!

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron , 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons , which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

Amazing discovery comrade!!

Is it true that Governmentium possesses extreme magnetic qualities that can suck up gold, silver, platinum from thousands of miles away?

/too funny

I hear the element disintegrates when it's bombarded by neo-cons. It's also incompatible with another element "common sensium" which is no longer common at all, but has decayed into a rare earth commodity.

Would this Governmentium be useful as fertilizer for growing healthy Chia sprouts out of my Obama Chia Pet, or would it just cause little white snakes to sprout out of his head?

Good question Comrade Leninka. I'm sure it is good for EVERYTHING.

So they finally settled on a name between the two factions of nuclear physicists. There was a lot of contention, with the other faction favoring the name "Bs" (Bullshitium).