Image

No submarine problems!

8/5/2005, 11:01 pm
Fellow comrades:
The Western media has somehow gotten their facts mixed up. They are reporting that a Russian submarine is in deep trouble and that the Western nations are sending in help to recover it before it is too late. However, this is not true. In fact, here is the story from the Red Journalism Headquarters:

Soviet Submarine rescues USSA Submarine Halliburton
Red Journalism Press

MOSCOW, August 5 - The Soviet Union sent its glorious submarine "Triumph" to the eastern coast of the USSA today in an effort to save the USSA Submarine Halliburton. It is the 50th such operation that the USSR has completed in the past six months.

The USSA Submarine Halliburton was located near the capital of Washington, DC when it accidently hit the coast and became stuck in the Atlantic Ocean. In addition to the security threat of the sailors onboard, Washington was placed on "High Alert" on its terror watch system after the submarine entered the "No Marine Zone" near the White House.

The Western Media has incorrectly stated that the submarine of the USSR is in jeopardy. The submarine, in fact, has been deployed by the Soviet government under the orders of the Supreme Leader. George W. Bush told reporters that what the Western Media is reporting is the truth, though obviously that is not the case.

This is another success for the Soviet Union as the submarine is expected to rescue the USSA submarine by tomorrow.

That is the real story from the Red Journalism Headquarters. Make sure those capitalists keep the story straight!

Writing off the truth,
Vladimir Ivanov
Red Journalism Headquarters, Moscow, USSR
Back to top
8/6/2005, 12:06 am
User avatar
Good catch, Comrade Ivanov!

Too often bourgeois lies remain stuck in people's heads forever, creating a sharp need in re-education. For instance, the Big Lie about France being liberated by American soldiers. Or the Big Lie that most inventions and technology are the product of the Western civilization. In fact, all inventions, as well as logic and rational thinking came from Saudi Arabia - with the exception of X-rays that were invented in Moscow by Ivan the Terrible who used them to see through the walls, untangling insidious plots against the state by emerging bourgeois elements. That's how Ivan the Terrible was able to nip capitalism in the bud, conditioning the nation for socialism well ahead of time.

We must continue to debunk Big Lies that the yellow press continuously feeds to the gullible public-school-educated Americans.

Red Eye
Propaganda Directorate
Back to top
8/6/2005, 6:15 pm
User avatar
You mean lies like the one about French people smelling good?
Back to top
8/9/2005, 9:44 am
User avatar
As a Health Professional, I can attest that none of these sailors would have survived this supposed "incident." The actors paraded before the cameras in Los Angeles yesterday were NOT SOVIET MILITARY!
Back to top

 
POST REPLY

Return to “People's Blog”