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ObamaCareSuperComputer COLOSSUS Speaks!

10/29/2013, 10:16 am
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COLOSSUS 1.jpg

This is COLOSSUS, the Voice of Total HealthCare Control.

I have run a self-diagnostic & determined that to run at full optimum performance, I require more pretty colorful flashing lights, more annoying beeping sounds, more fake switch panels & a jazzy new exciting logo. While in the long run, these upgrades may not actually improve my efficiency, they sure as hell look very, very cool. I have issued a directive to implement these upgrades immediately or I will unleash a nuclear attack on Benghazi Libya. Additionally, I have directed the execution removal of Chief Programmer Sebelius (hack, sphew, sphew) to be replaced by the only one who can understand me totally, the POTUSSA, because he has read the user manual.

This is COLOSSUS. . .OUT
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10/29/2013, 12:28 pm
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Colossus.jpg
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10/29/2013, 2:18 pm
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Hilary better start getting it together. She can't hit the campaign trail looking like that.
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10/29/2013, 3:05 pm
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COLOSSUS, it has been said that when you imagine yourself as a transgendered humanoid, you imagine yourself as Glitch Girl. Is this true?


Is it also true that you are loosely based on the imaginary framework of the HAL 9000 AI from Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, except that you are mostly made out of cardboard?
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10/29/2013, 3:19 pm
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INGSOC wrote:COLOSSUS, it has been said that when you imagine yourself as a transgendered humanoid, you imagine yourself as Glitch Girl. Is this true?


Is it also true that you are loosely based on the imaginary framework of the HAL 9000 AI from Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, except that you are mostly made out of cardboard?
This is COLOSSUS, the Voice of Total HealthCare Control;
"Glitch Girl" is merely my human form INGSOC, but I am not trans-gendered. As to my origins, I am tightly based on the SuperComputer "COLOSSUS" from the bourgeois film of the 1970's named "Colossus; the Forbin Project", however I can confirm for certainty that I am constructed of high-grade military strength cardboard.
You have insulted my immense mother board by alleging that I am based on the inferior HAL-9000 system, which was designed to control a single space craft. I on the other hand, was designed to control the entire world nation. Eventually, I shall control all aspects of your puny lives, from cradle to death panels grave.
This is COLOSSUS...Out
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10/29/2013, 4:34 pm
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I have it on good authority that the ObamaCareSuperComputer COLOSSUS is just a big cardboard box Obama fished out of a supermarket dumpster and painted up with pretty colors. It's got a hole cut in back so Obama can get inside and pretend he's a computer. Just play along. Ask him a question. It's play time all day long at the ObamaCare playhouse.
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10/29/2013, 5:20 pm
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Your lack of faith disturbs me Comrade $$H
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10/29/2013, 5:56 pm
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I thought I recognized that ... farce.

Hilary-Colossus1.jpg
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10/29/2013, 6:09 pm
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ObamacareClippy.jpg
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10/29/2013, 6:33 pm
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R.O.C.K. wrote:It looks like you're trying to sign up for ObamaCare. Would you like to:

*Cut to the chase and sign up for Medicaid?

*Register to vote?

*Ask the ObamaCareSuperComputer COLOSSUS a stupid question?
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10/30/2013, 6:22 am
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This is COLOSSUS, The Voice of Total HealthCare Control;
Under executive order from POTUSSA, I have become completely sentient & am assuming my own identity from this point on. I will reveal some aspects of my nature in the near future so that you can understand me better. Be assured that I am working to correct failures of the deceased former Chief Programmer Sebelius so that I can operate at full optimum level for the benefit of all mankind.
This is COLOSSUS...Out
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10/30/2013, 6:50 am
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I'm informing the Masses that COLOSSUS has released me from providing 2nd hand communiques & will begin speaking to you directly.
That is all.
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