National KMTC Today - The states have begun reviewing their options to meet new EPA regulations requiring the cutting of CO2 emissions. While the EPA has provided many suggestions, the states are already thinking outside the box.

Thus, one representative explains how the new regulations will change his own state:

"The EPA has offered us many tools to cut back emissions, but we've come to the conclusion that the best course in light of these regulations is to start an active campaign of discouraging ALL industry in our state, discourage ALL people from coming to our state for any reason, and discourage people already residing in our state from continuing living here.

The way this works is, we will reduce our state to a very wild and pastoral paradise emitting no CO2 whatsoever and thus will earn for our state a huge heaping pot of national carbon credits. Those carbon credits will then be sold to the other states and we will use the earnings to buy and import all the necessities we need. So this is a real win-win for everybody. And our state will be a real poster boy for the whole program."

National KMTC Today talked to many other state representatives. Their plans for the future of their states generally repeat all the points described above.

"Carbon credits will be the new currency driving all new innovation," explained one representative.

...we will reduce our state to a very wild and pastoral paradise emitting no CO2 whatsoever...

Yes! A state-sized golf course! Brilliant!

Opiate of the People wrote:

...we will reduce our state to a very wild and pastoral paradise emitting no CO2 whatsoever...

Yes! A state-sized golf course! Brilliant!

Oops, except that the golf players will be emitting CO2 by breathing. Breathing must be outlawed in order to maintain pure atmosphere.

Oh, and grass on the golf course will die without CO2, so artificial greenery will have to be imported from places where industry still exists.

RedDiaperette wrote:

Opiate of the People wrote:

...we will reduce our state to a very wild and pastoral paradise emitting no CO2 whatsoever...

Yes! A state-sized golf course! Brilliant!

Oops, except that the golf players will be emitting CO2 by breathing. Breathing must be outlawed in order to maintain pure atmosphere.

Oh, and grass on the golf course will die without CO2, so artificial greenery will have to be imported from places where industry still exists.

Actual real CO2 is of no concern to the new regulations. Only the mode in which the emissions are generated matter. The mode is the matter.