A new lighting device developed by the scientists working for the Peoples Navy to replace incandescent light bulbs is the latest public-relations success for President Obama's Energy Department. The 60-watt lighting device is equivalent to a 60 watt incandescent bulb and has won the Obama's Energy Department's prestigious $10 million “L Prize” for development of a environmentally sensitive lighting device that is “affordable for American families.” The retail price is currently $50 each due to the exotic scientific research that was involved to develop the new technology.

The new lighting device is more energy-efficient than standard incandescent bulbs as it uses zero electricity. Critics though claimed that it costs 50 times the price of the typical old-style incandescent bulb, has to be replaced often after use and is a fire hazard if knocked over and all this eats up any long-term energy savings.

The Energy Department defends the lighting device price and is confident that future customers will flock to buy this breakthrough in modern lighting technology. The Obama administration also states that costs will fall over time after all the appropriate tax payer funded Government subsidies are in place.

In the future we will use algae to illuminate our homes, unless algae actually allows the economy to grow and then we will protect algae as an endangered species. We have already submitted an algae subsidy application and are working on a genetically modified strain of algae (patent pending).


Rumors that our modified algae causes cancer are fallacious and malicious.



Al Gore Institute of Silence says:

Sorry comrade, I meant to enhance your thread with a modest comment but it took a slippery turn. I probably should have moved it to it's own pond or to our glorious algae thread. I was too lazy to move the images.

Allow me to offer -

Comrade People's Comrade,
We meet again! You are correct in your assumption that the sun is a big ball of algae. On "Dearest and Most Benevolent Leader's" must resent astral travel to the sun he confirmed this. This is how he was able to say that we have a lot of this plant like substance, algae, and if we can figure out how make energy out of it there would be plenty of energy. The sun creates energy by an algae/hydrogen fusion process. The 'figuring it out part' is making that fusion process work here on Earth. The best minds in The Kremlin Washington are working on it so you know it will happen. Dear Leader surely has a plan for this for he is all knowing and will not let us down. Hail Dear Leader!

Comrade Yuri,
I see you work on the railroad....so how about " volunteering " to help us get the collective's tractor running ?Red Square had some Federal agency spend $150,000 so that we could have some mechanical assistance during beet planting season.

Comrade Krasnodar,
Yes the beets need to be in the ground now for they are to be planted early in the cold weather. The earlier beets are planted the more sugar energy they produce and this can only be to the benefit of the collective and by extension the State.
Unfortunately, upon examination of the collective's tractor I notice it has outdated technology such as spark plugs. I suggest the reason your tractor can not be repaired is the State no longer produces parts for it at tractor plant #71 where that model was made.
The new, State approved technology used in such equipment is all steam powered. Most collective's tractors have been replaced with the more efficient models that run on steam.
The head of your collective can request that the State deliver a new tractor and it can be "paid for" with the $150,000 Comrade Red Square was acquired for this purpose from the Federal agency.
If there is any problem with your new tractor, I have been re-educated by the State Technikal Institute to work on steam engines and will proudly "volunteer" for the good of the collective.

Comrade, this device uses no electricity, hence no sparks.... it would seem to be the ideal device to use to light the People's Navy ordinance shed and the high-volatility fuel storage tanks, not to mention the gunpowder factory. I'll have the People's Defense Committee begin installing them right away!

Opiate,

Outstanding idea! Also you would not happen to know some fine young men who would like to join up for the Peoples Navy?

We've all of the sudden have lots of job openings in our ordnance and fuel departments after the install.

Ordinance ?

Did somebody say ORDINANCE ?

I LOVE ORDINANCE !

yuri trotynov wrote:The best minds in The Kremlin Washington are working on it so you know it will happen.

Comrade Yuri, it seems to me that you are implying that there are minds in Washington. If this is the case, then I am afraid you are mistaken. There is but one mind in Washington, which is the kollektive hivemind of the government, which is controlled by Dear Leader's brilliant consciousness. The Rethuglikkkans, as we all know, do not have minds because they are stoopid.
[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]Who am I kidding, there are no minds in Washington.

Some relevant light bulb footage from our archives:

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote: We've all of the sudden have lots of job openings in our ordnance and fuel departments after the install.

More JOBS created and/or saved! Dear Leader will be so pleased! Free contraceptives for everyone!

GAIA Minister Neytiri Naked Truth Report:

All GAIA-Loving Comrades will purchase ALGAE BULBS (a.k.a. Al G Bulbs) at $50 each to replace those GAIA-raping incandescent bulbs.


--GAIA Minister Neytiri

Been fun comrades.....I'm outta here! Yuri