Image

Postcards From The Edge Of The Obama Campaign

9/28/2012, 3:32 pm
User avatar
Here is an actual eCard sent by Dear Leader's campaign to some free cell phone recipients recently:

obamabccard.png
Dear Mom,

Mitt Romney says he would repeal the Affordable Care Act. So here's a quick question: Can I borrow $18,000 to help pay for my birth control?

Thanks!

What might the possible responses be, hmmmm?

Dear Julia: $18,000 for birth control pills? Who are you buying them from, Sandra Fluke? They're selling them for $9 a month at Target. Eighteen thousand bucks will buy 166 years worth, more than enough to get you thru menopause (especially since you're 35 and still in grad school.) Drop out of the "Advanced Marxist Puppetry" degree program at Harvard and take a math course, will ya? - Mom

Dear Julia: Sorry, we can't lend you any money - our electric bill has gone up SKY HIGH since President Obama closed our local coal-fired power plant and forced the utility to install windmills made in China (did you know that the wind does NOT blow constantly? We were wondering why our lights are always going out on calm days.)
Anyway, if you need money, maybe try Goldman Sachs? - Mom

Dear Julia: Bad news. Dad was trying to pawn his classic Gibson guitar to raise the $18,000 for you when the DOJ arrested him - something about "illegal endagered wood from Saudi Arabia" used in the guitar. Do you happen to have a few bucks to lend us for his bail? - Mom

Dear Julia: Speaking of Affordable Care, we cannot afford our government-mandated health insurance anymore since dad lost his job at the steel plant - we were hoping the XL pipeline would increase the demand for pipe and keep the plant in business but Obama vetoed that for some reason. Anyway, we were wondering... could we move in with you for a while? - Mom

Dear Julia: Get real, our taxes went up $18,000 because President Obama said we were one of the fat cats who didn't pay their fair share - this was just before we had to close our business in NYC because the #occupy protesters burned the place down. We are throwing in the towel and joining the moocher oppressed class - we would suggest you do the same (Ha, look who I'm talking to - you never worked a day in your life, just like Obama!) We'll be getting a new cell phone number soon since we are going to apply for free cell phones, government cheese, housing subsidies, etc. We're gonna take the system for everything we can get, just like you. See you on the picket line!
- Mom


Here's another one sent out by Dear Leader's Truth Team - it's enough to give you a truth ache.

ecard2.jpg

What would grandma say? Maybe one of these:


Dear Julia: I'm glad Obama is not raising taxes on my Social Security because thanks to the damage his idiotic Keynesian bullshit did to our economy and our currency, a loaf of bread now costs me $460. - Grandma

Dear Julia: I'm sorry it takes me so long to respond to your letters but I am having trouble finding someone to read them to me now. You see, the unelected bureaucrats on the Independent Patient Advisory Board set up by Obamacare decided I can't have the cataract operation I need (they said I'm too old but actually I think it's because I donated money to Mitt Romney once) and so I am unable to see very well. They did give me these nice little red pills and told me to just relax and I'll feel better. That's all for now, Mr. Grumpy (who's writing this letter for me) has to go sterilize his catheter. See you soon! (Maybe.) - Grandma

Dear Julia: What the hell are you talking about? I was one of the "investors" (i.e. the Obama cronies) who made millions on the green energy scams like Solyndra before they went bankrupt. Obama 2012! More change (in my pocket) I can believe in!
- Grandma

Dear Julia: Sure we can call it "even"! We're down to about two people paying into Social Security for every one collecting, thanks to Obama's "unexpectedly" bad economy driving people like me to retire instead of continuing to work. My life expectancy is about 30 more years so you'll be working your ass off for decades to pay for my benefits! (If you ever manage to get a job, that is.) - Grandma

Dear Julia: Sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't send you an outfit during the last Winter Solstice Holiday (YOU demanded I call it that, remember?) By the way, there were some people here from the DOJ asking about you - they seem to think you made a movie insulting Islam or something. One of them said something about sending you some items with hidden microphones on them to gather "evidence." I do hope you're not in any trouble. "Julia" was the name of that girl in "1984", you know. - Grandma
Back to top

 
POST REPLY

Return to “People's Blog”