HEALTHCARE.GOV CAN'T VERIFY OBAMA'S IDENTITY

NEW YORK – The White House appears to have dropped a bombshell when it explained to the press why White House staff in Washington enrolled President Obama in Obamacare instead of Obama himself.

Officials said it was because HealthCare.gov could not verify Obama's identity.

Here is what Ed Henry, Fox News White House correspondent, reported on air:

“Somebody who's not waiting in line to enroll is the president of the United States. We learned today from the White House. Initially, they said he signed up for what they called a bronze plan, paying about four hundred dollars a month in premiums. But, then they came back to us and said – ‘Well, wait. He didn't actually enroll. They said his staff did it and that's because of his unique circumstance obviously, as commander-in-chief, that his personal information is not in various government databases, so Healthcare.gov could not actually verify his identity, oddly enough. So, he had to do it in person this weekend, so he was signing up for the D.C. exchange, but his staff did it.”

Surely you know that Dear Leader would not soil His delicate finger tips entering mundane information through a "keyboard"! No Sir-eee... A worker or peasant has been assigned the task. As for security concerns regarding the worker or peasant; consider what happened to the workers who built the pyramids and knew the location of the king's burial chamber. nudge...nudge...wink...wink.

We finally figured what was the problem! it was just a typerwriter snaffu: Instead of typing "...those responsible to execute patch" the secretary typed: "execute those responsible for patch". Same thing happened to Stalin in 1938. By the time we caught the error, it was too late, and hey, what difference does it make anyways.

The applications for the new programers are still being taken.