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Psalm for a Lost Utopia

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And the era of cowboy diplomacy ended, and the war-gods were banished from the great city, and the world was uplifted on the wings of Hope and Change. And utopia dawned across Mother Gaia, and our wisest emissaries were sent to talkto our enemies rationally, carrying the word of His love and promises of much treasure. And all was calm and placid. Peace was at hand,double rainbows shone over the sacred mount, and stimuli of expropriated cheese and extra lotus rations were tossed out to the masses, until:

North Korea,rejecting international criticism, launched a rocket late Saturday night in what could be a step toward putting a nuclear warhead on amissile capable of reaching the U.S. and beyond.

President Obama called the launch — which defied Washington, Tokyo and others who suspect it was a cover for a test of its long-range missile technology— a move that threatens the security of nations "near and far."

A wicked emperor had harshed the great mellow that had settled upon Mother Gaia, though even the cowboy's emissaries had borne great vats brimming with tribute to the wicked emperor's palace to appease him. And a few among the masses began to taunt Him, “why wouldst thou squander our treasure on this wickedness, as the departed cowboy hath done?” And a few among the masses grew weary oftheir lotus rations and awakened forthwith to see that His love had not cleansed Gaia of wickedness. And the wicked emperor mocked Him and frightened the masses by threatening to smite them with “thunderbolts of fire” (the wicked emperor was not as eloquent as our Savior).

In the great city, the war-gods' spies began to whisper that the Savor's emissaries knew not what they were doing, and verily, there was much confusion among the Savior's emissaries.
And the emissaries of Hope and Change could do nothing but brandish the rusting swords and the dreaded Proliferation Security Initiative of the banished war-god Bolton, who mocked their sermons and talking points from his place of banishment, though few could hear him through his eccentric mustache.

And our Savior cried out to the wicked emperor, “Why hast thou forsaken me? Didst thou not endorse my candidacy?”And He knew then that the wicked emperor's heart was devious, like the aldermen of Chicago. For just as the aldermen had endorsed him so as to seek his favor, the wicked emperor had sought only to sow weakness among those whose buxom lasses, streaming online porn, and other stuff he coveted. And the wicked emperor feared not His commandments, nor the sanctions of the United Nations, and defied His warning of a “stern, unified” response.

For His words were of no meaning to the wicked emperor, who did not believe. And there was much wailing and dejection among the lotus-eaters.

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{microphone off}
I had a psychic vision while staring at Keith Olberman's image on my TV screen (with the sound off, of course.) I saw a rocket launched from North Korea blowing up a city. To deal with the crisis, Obama rushes off to Pyongyang-wang-gang-bang to negoitiate with his dear friend, Kim Jong Il. Upon his return, as he is disembarking from Air Farce I, a reporter calls out to him, "What progress did you achieve from your discussions with your homie Kim?" And Obama holds up a bag of rubble and proclaims proudly, "Pieces in our time!" And the crowd cheers. Neville Chamberpot has nuthin' on him.


 
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