Rat spermoza for $180,935

8/3/2010, 5:06 pm

Glorious Comrades and pitiful little proles:

This is most interesting topic and possibly filled with a wee bit of curiosity.

Dear Leader has worked so diligently (cough cough) to provide jobs for the proletariats, but here is one "stimulus" project that is truly stimulating in many ways. $180, 935 has been set aside to study how to better freeze, rat spermatozoa. I am curious as to why anyone would want to freeze future rodent off springs (are we running in short supply of rats?), but with more inquisitive, I am wondering HOW one encourages a rat to make such a donation, but I digress . . .

humm, now I forget what my original thought was, but nevertheless. Rat spermatozoas; rat spermatozoas..... $180,935 . . . . would that not buy a lot of beets for the gulag?

Please, help me to get my mind straight.

8/3/2010, 5:47 pm

Well, comrade. Uh, how do I explain this while not planting criminal thoughts in your head. Hm, well, some of us have comrades who run certain, uh, "enterprises" that are dependent on government money in order to make scientific breakthroughs. These "enterprises" -- which are moral "enterprises", mind you -- share their government funding with people like me who made the phone calls necessary in order to have Congress appropriate rat sperm funding. I of course take a cut of this funding from the moral "enterprise" in order to take care of my "special needs" (i.e. hookers, booze, sleeping pills, pain killers, and procelain collectibles). This is all done in the name of the children, of course, and if you're against it that can only mean that you hate the first African-American president and are a RACIST, RACIST, RACIST! Hope that clears things up for you, comrade.

8/3/2010, 6:10 pm

8/3/2010, 6:26 pm

Glorious Chairman Punchenko, I have most gratitudinal thoughts for your precise and consistent strange explanation. I am filled with rejoicing that you are able to make money eek out an existence by this most interesting endeavor. May all your democratic rats be futile!

And thank you, Comrade People, for that (spit) most interesting of dessert possibilities, but sadly, I am (spit) just not hungry.

8/3/2010, 10:57 pm

Comrade, I regret to inform you that this information pertains to a Top Secret national security project; it should not have been released to the public (someone is going to lose their Journolist membership card over this.) The nature of the project, I cannot reveal; let's just say rats which are born from frozen spermatozoa tend to vote for the common good in overwhelming numbers, if you get my drift.

8/3/2010, 11:27 pm

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Glorious Comrades and pitiful little proles:

This is most interesting topic and possibly filled with a wee bit of curiosity.

Dear Leader has worked so diligently (cough cough) to provide jobs for the proletariats, but here is one "stimulus" project that is truly stimulating in many ways. $180, 935 has been set aside to study how to better freeze, rat spermatozoa. I am curious as to why anyone would want to freeze future rodent off springs (are we running in short supply of rats?), but with more inquisitive, I am wondering HOW one encourages a rat to make such a donation, but I digress . . . .

humm, now I forget what my original thought was, but nevertheless. Rat spermatozoas; rat spermatozoas..... $180,935 . . . . would that not buy a lot of beets for the gulag?

Please, help me to get my mind straight.

There is more to the story than meets the eye. I suspect that the evil Glen Beck is working on a conspiracy theory at this very moment.

8/3/2010, 11:33 pm

Say is that a rat in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

8/3/2010, 11:57 pm

At this very moment a special breed of "spy rat" is being developed to gather The People's Information. Gene splicing is not something we are allowed to talk about. We have crossed rats with genes from two famous spys, Anna Chapman and Valerie Plame. The Valerie Plame rats are something of a disappointment in that they hang around the office and shuffle papers and everyone seems to know about them. But for rats, they look great.

8/4/2010, 12:46 am

Thank you, most loyal and persuasive comrades. You have made good points to ponder . . . now, about that collection process? Do they go into a 'private' room and look at books are what?

8/4/2010, 2:21 am

.

8/4/2010, 3:40 am

The purpose of this funding and research is obvious. From tiny rat spermatozoa, mighty rats grow, helping the unions to fight the saboteurs and traitors. What other rats would Obama and the progressive Congress breed?

Haven't you seen those in your cities across the fruity plain? Where I'm from, you can't take a walk in Manhattan without seeing one of these, surrounded by picketing union members with extremely loud whistles. One might think that for some, this actually constitutes full employment. There has to be a union just for the giant rat-handlers, sign-holders, and whistle-blowers. No doubt with union benefits, dental, and pension plans.

8/4/2010, 7:51 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDEfqiZ ... re=related

Go Rat about the cubboard....

8/4/2010, 8:43 am

Thank you dear Comrade leader Red Square for that clear clarification. I did not know you they could retract blow up, giant rats from spermozas. I am most profoundly sad to recount that we do not have such glorious sized rats in the Texas Gulag ™, so am thinking we must collect much greater sums to taxpayer money (not to mention rat donors) to proceed with increased studies before Nov.

"Keep Donations Coming!" (NO PUN INTENDED. STOP SNICKERING! STOP IT!!)

8/4/2010, 9:08 am

Have a beer?

8/4/2010, 1:37 pm

Frau - there's no way of knowing what the union organizers do with those inflatable rats when no one is looking. The study may as well be focused on extracting spermatozoa from inflatable rats merely to keep them functional a while longer. Freezing it is one way to shake it out (no pun intended either).

8/4/2010, 2:10 pm

Red Square wrote:.....The study may as well be focused on extracting spermatozoa from inflatable rats merely to keep them functional a while longer. Freezing it is one way to shake it out (no pun intended either).

oh my. I had no idea that was possible. What a glorious idea. Undoubtedly, this plan came direct from dear Leaders "shake down" of donors.

8/7/2010, 10:02 am

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Glorious Comrades and pitiful little proles:

This is most interesting topic and possibly filled with a wee bit of curiosity.

I am wondering HOW one encourages a rat to make such a donation, but I digress . . . .

humm, now I forget what my original thought was, but nevertheless. Rat spermatozoas; rat spermatozoas..... $180,935 . . . . would that not buy a lot of beets for the gulag?

Please, help me to get my mind straight.

The answer to your question....

Now I am not a scientist; but as a progressive I do believe in global warming climate change anyway

The "donations" are acquired no doubt by just showing them a picture of Papa Obama.
Even small rodents are defenseless against his "charm"

Whereas most higher level mammals, like Chris Matthews, are able to control that "tingle", small mammals are totally defenseless against it.

Of course, even some humans are unable to control it. Rumor has it that after many a public showing of Papa Obama the clean up is rather messy. Thank goodness we still have special gov't "clean up" crews from Bill Clinton to deal with such a mess.

8/7/2010, 12:00 pm

Comrade Neotrotsky, that is as good an explanation as I have heard and makes ever the much sense!

8/7/2010, 1:23 pm

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Comrade Neotrotsky, that is as good an explanation as I have heard and makes ever the much sense!

Just because:

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