Remember the Cube's order for those "vodka and sparkling water storage tanks" ?
Well, tovaish, they're here.

Should I direct the delivery guys to drive them into the bunk..........underground wine cellar ?They're waiting out behind the truck.

This is just delightful!! I know they were on back order from, oh, umm, 12... 18 years? Something like that. RS will be so please at their arrive and most anxious to get them filled and in use (as I dare say, we all will. Hauling gal. jugs around, which are tied to the back of bicycles is most inconvenient). Who says there are no "shovel ready" jobs ready, I ask!

I think I feel a party coming on?

Fraulein...If you don't mind, I think I'd like to skip out of the kind of "party" these would provide.

Coomrade Krasnodar,

You will note the uniformed security with the vehicles. Direct anyone asking questions to one of these "information specialists". They will be able to dispose of any question issues.

Krasnodar, surly you do not suggest that we have anything but the best of intentions involved. These are merely implements for vodka transpiration, that is all. Why, you can even ask our friends in Georgia and they will verify are loyal, good intentions.

Tooorisky, Information Specialist... ah yes, just like those in the airports claiming to working for the TSA.

I think that guy with the black cap's looking at me. All I was doing was taking pictures for the collective's scrapbook.......

Comrade Fraulein,

In an effort to upgrade the image of the cube, we no longer use words like "Thugs", "Hitmen""enforcement teams" "operatives" and the like.

These are called by the general term "Information Specialists".

Just a word of caution, Never ask them to "dig up" information. All are fully qualified on the "Obaminator" and what they dig up may turn your stomach.

Always keep them in front of you, exercising vigilance at all times.

Party At Red's Place! Everybody, get your debauchery rings on!

Comrades,

Another of my areas of mindful ness is debauchery. This is a marketing ploy.

There are debauchery rings, but they are not worn. Like Einstein's theory, it's all relatives.

This can occur at very friendly family get togethers, brothers, aunts, cousins, sisters, nephews, uncles, combinations don't matter because everything is related.

Some "family trees" look like telephone poles, but that is circumstancial.

I humbly suggest there is confusion here, these are the health care suppositories being delivered. I am careful to speak from the gulag, and if denounced, I am already here.

That's some storage tank you got there Krasnodor. And, of course, now we have the perfect excuse to drink excessive amounts of vodka, with the Republicans in power. Every time they block yet another bill that would have gotten us closer to our glorious system, we can drink, drink drink. For two years we had no excuses, but now, the sky is the limit. We can whine, complain, shout epitaphs all we want, no I meant expletives.

Storage tank with vodka ???................A storage tank that's filled wi ...............

Ohhhhh yes ..........That storage tank is filled with vodka ............ yeah, that's it......

Of course it is, Leninka.............I mean, what else would it be filled with ?

( And comrade .... that's " Krasnodar ". Krasnodor is a cheap cooking wine from Iran.)

Just where do you think that you're going with those tanks? Those are my goddamned tanks. They were lifted from the Rancho, and they are filled, not with Pinkie's rot-gut Putinka, but with real Stoly.

(Pinkie thinks that they're full of Putinka because that's what I serve her. I make sure she's partly lit, well she's always at least partly lit, when she gets here and I pour Putinka into a Stoly bottle and she hasn't caught on yet.)

But I'm missing my Stoly, and I want it back.

Heads will roll and I promise the thief a new adventure in Jiffy-Lobo™.

Comrade T. : ( slowly waves his hand in front of the good Theocritus ) calmly saying:
" These aren't the tanks you've been looking for ."

" Stoli " , did you say ? There's the mix-up. These tanks have have identifications stenciled on the back....very clearly labeled: " CC-27 ", which in Cyrillic is, of course "SS-27."... obviously a reference to the contents being either "Smirnoff Special" or "Sparkling Soda", both of which Red Square had me order.

Rest assured that your Stoli was not stolen by us. However, we did momentarily consider that as an option.

Respecrtfully,

Krasnodar ( missile propulsion & guidance specialist, part-time Pobeda mechanic. )

As an aside, I never realized that shipping distilled spirits required a military escort. Perhaps Fraulein P. arranged that so they would arrive without incident. You know....she does like her vodka....and its almost the weekend.

Krasnodar, there's something that you don't quite get. Yet. But you will. I promise.

I am a made prog. Sorry, that's made prog. That means, in the vulgar phrase of an icon of capitalism some 30 years ago, I have a big, swingin' dick.

Which means that it is entirely immaterial whether or not what you say is true.

Now I'll let you in on a secret. The way to get to be a made prog like me is to be as nasty as I am. Do you think, when you look at our Many Titted Empress, that the Hildebeest is as perfectly nasty as person as you could want? She'd steal a tattoo off a chest.

And when you look at Nanski, all you see is that wondrous claw-handed, botoxed shrieking, gabbling monster of complete self-righteous theft.

I scare them both. That's why what you, or indeed anyone else, says is unimportant.

By the way, I've decided that this diet is for the birds. That's because I have decided that what gravity says is unimportant.

And Dear O'WorstPresidentInHistory has decided that economics is unimportant.

Comrade T: You are not nasty, as they would say in the colloquial parlance.
I would rather speak in reference to you as being an " aggressive negotiator".

We are of course entitled to this shipment of libations and with the authorities on the take and/or shitfaced themselves, the drive home should be worry free!

Buffoon, I remember that pic. That was after the 2008 election party at Red Square's dacha. Hoo boy was I ever ripped. Thank Lenin a passing motorist offered me a ride home in the trunk of his car.