Russian healthcare is free.  Not only is it free, but Bloomberg rates it as 55 out of 55.  Imagine that - 55 stars!  Not even North Korea can compete with that.  But in spite of being the best healthcare system on the planet, it has come under unexpected strains which have caused the Ministry of Health to make some adjustments to the program.

After a conference with his leading and most loyal generals, Putin agreed that being a senior military officer must now be seen as a preexisting condition that can no longer be covered by Russia's nationalized healthcare system.  From now on, Putin informed his military staff, any Russian officer who receives a promotion to general or admiral does so at his own risk.  Even though leaders of private military groups have already been phased out of the program, declared Putin, it was still necessary to make additional cuts in health coverage.

Ironically, the announcement came on September 21, just one day before Ukrainian launched storm shadow missiles struck the naval headquarters of Russia's Black Sea Fleet.  Upon hearing the news early the next day, Admiral Viktor Sokolov was overheard shouting during a phone call with the Kremlin, "Shoigu!  Gerasimov!  Where is my ******* health care!?"  An answer was not immediately forthcoming, but generals Shoigu and Gerasimov simply shrugged and agreed it was a moot point, anyway.

Russia has provided irrefutable video and photographic evidence that Admiral Sokolov is alive and in excellent health. Don't believe me? See for yourself (please ignore viewer comments which are all Ukrainian propaganda).

You heard him - nothing happened. The Black Sea Fleet, in the meantime, continues to meet all its tasks with positive emotions and unabated success.