Dear Comrades,

State Security Officers in Nassau District of New York Oblast were called to the scene of a traumatic example of the insecurity our Pubic School Administrators and Young Socialists feel because of the reactionary and counter-revolutionary elements who refuse to comply with the Party's plan for popular disarmament: a lime green Nerf gun was mistaken for an assault weapon that resulted in a school lock-down.

We can only ask ourselves, when are the violent fascists that have ensconced themselves in peaceful Democratic Socialist society going to finally surrender to the Will of the Masses and turn in their weapons, so that no student or School Administrator needs to live in such fear?

Nerf toy causes lockdown at Long Island school

It is abundantly clear from this situation that the ideation of weapons has become another form of metal illness. Young Socialists should not play with such toys, and the Party is preparing for a full ban on gun-shaped toys, as has already been enacted in other places in the New York Oblast.

Fake-gun fine unreal: 30G penalty forcing B'klyn store to close

We congratulate the heroic citizens of Manhattangrad for banning assault toys, and hope that this example of courage out of Brooklynsk will spread throughout the USSA. However, more must be done, and the Masses are demanding action.

Why are Young Socialists not being given more appropriate toys, such as Nerf Shovels, Nerf Picks, and Nerf Hoes? This way, they will learn to value public service and manual labor while entertaining their more frivolous, childish ways?

Meanwhile, State Security officers were traumatized by having to respond to a potentially dangerous situation. Such events undoubtedly will result in numerous claims of debilitating stress for teachers and police officials, who will undoubtedly be forced to retire on full disability. The costs of this alone on our Society should be enough to awaken citizens to the need for a more rapid implementation of universal pacification and a total ban on all weapons.

We should think as well of all the children who had to be strip searched in order to find this weapon, and how inconvenient it will be for school administrators to fill out the paperwork and reports such searches require. Comrades, enough is enough! Our schools should not be so filled with terror that we are pushed to such extreme measures! We must all struggle for a paper-free State administration, but not before we accomplish the more important task: the end of the fear of violence through popular disarmament.

Our children and State officials will only feel truly safe when all the Masses turn in their weapons and rely on the perfect vigilance of our State Security forces. The money saved by reactionaries who buys weapons can be used to provide more Police Officers, so that we can all feel more comforted by being under the constant gaze of our Law Enforcement Officials.

Agitate for Universal Disarmament!
It is your Patriotic Duty to surrender your weapons!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Proletarian Red-noser

Agitate for Universal Disarmament! It is your Patriotic Duty to surrender your weapons!

And your toys!!!

All toys must pass inspection by our inspection committee:

My apologies to Comrade Director Red Square for spontaneously collectivizing his artwork. Perhaps he can repossess this image and come up with something better!

Anyone who has run afoul of a Siberian Babushka knows that they slap as hard as any KGB officer in a basement interrogation room! They are the perfect committee. Nothing will get past them. Their sweet little lips utter nothing but 'HET!'

Princess Nookie wrote:

Agitate for Universal Disarmament! It is your Patriotic Duty to surrender your weapons!

And your toys!!!

All toys must pass inspection by our inspection committee:

babushkas.jpg

COMRADES!

What parental units would allow their Children to possess such instruments of violence and anti-socialism behavior with such a cache of WEAPONS!!!


Picture was taken at a comrade's house in Singapore where they don't allow guns, but they sell TOY GUNS for The Children™ to play with.

Glorious find Comrade Red Square!

Nomenklatura-climber wrote:Anyone who has run afoul of a Siberian Babushka knows that they slap as hard as any KGB officer in a basement interrogation room! They are the perfect committee. Nothing will get past them. Their sweet little lips utter nothing but 'HET!'

Princess Nookie wrote:

Agitate for Universal Disarmament! It is your Patriotic Duty to surrender your weapons!

And your toys!!!

All toys must pass inspection by our inspection committee:

babushkas.jpg

Violence from our fair maidens in babushka?
Not likely...

Tovarichi wrote:
Violence from our fair maidens in babushka?
Not likely...

They are gorgeous women. If you doubt, then go an see them.