Greetings Comrades:

I know you have all missed having my lovely proletarian countenance to gaze upon. But I am now back at the TPC and I give you my permission to view my beauty unveiled (would any of our comrade muslim females do that for you?).

Anyway, even though we are all celebrating the imminent coronation of our Dear Leader His Holiness Barack Obama, there is one small problem. His Holiness is certainly the perfect choice for General Secretary...er, President, but the thought of Michelle Obama as First Lady gives me the progressive dry heaves. Who in the world would want her for First Comrade Woman when they could have me?

Thus you see my dilemma. I am the obvious choice for First Ho... er, First Lady for any progressive regime.

XOXOXOXOXO
Nadezhda Alliluyeva

[HIGHLIGHT=#938953]Commissar of Climate[/HIGHLIGHT]

Woo-hoo! I'm the Commissar of Climate! All right! Ha, ha, ha, ha. Look out America.

We're going to bury you.

Sincerely,

Carol Browner
Commissar of Climate

Welcome back, Nadezhda.

I don't think I'm good enough to stand at Obama's side, let alone share his bed and toilet and swap spit with him, etc., but I do think I'm just as qualified for that NY senate seat as Caroline.

I too have a famous last name and drunk uncle who doesn't know how to drive.

I may not have lots of money, but I know how I can get some.

I care about public schools, even though I send my children to private ones because I've made the choice that it's the best thing for them.

I may never have had a pony when I was a little girl, but I did eat Macaroni.

I'm also just as articulate as she is, umm, ya know? Which is why I don't talk to the press and do interviews.

Thank you Commisarka Pinkie.

I think you would make quite an excellent senator for New York. You are only missing one small necessary item: Your father is not a martyr.

We all know how important martyrdom is for our muslim comrades. Princess Caroline assured her place in history by arranging for her father to take a ride down Elm street in Dallas.

You know?

XOXOXOXOXO
Nadezhda Alliluyeva

He might well be a martyr, Nadezhda. I still retain memories of years past when he often gave me the impression that it was killing him to pay alimony and child support to the first wife while remaining faithful to the tenets of his accustomed high standard of living with the second wife.

Bah, why should only a real woman be first lady? Why not pick a transgender woman for first lady? A transgender woman has suffered more slings and arrows from evil capitialist prejudice than anyone because she is a man who used to be... no, wait--- ok, I got it... a woman who used to be a man but was born in the wrong body because of the uncaring for-profit imperialist health-care system. And a transgender person should be picked for NY Senator because there are no transgender people in the senate (well, not officially anyway.)

I apologize to the womyn here who are qualified for the positions you seek, but qualifications do not matter when we have political grievances that need redressing. History is waiting to be made; the country awaits the first Transgender First Lady!

Opiate of the People wrote:Bah, why should only a real woman be first lady? Why not pick a transgender woman for first lady? A transgender woman has suffered more slings and arrows from evil capitialist prejudice than anyone because she is a man who used to be... no, wait--- ok, I got it... a woman who used to be a man but was born in the wrong body because of the uncaring for-profit imperialist health-care system. And a transgender person should be picked for NY Senator because there are no transgender people in the senate (well, not officially anyway.)

I apologize to the womyn here who are qualified for the positions you seek, but qualifications do not matter when we have political grievances that need redressing. History is waiting to be made; the country awaits the first Transgender First Lady!

Wait a second! Michelle isn't transgender?

Commissar M wrote: Wait a second! Michelle isn't transgender?

Commissar, you have asked me a pointed question so I am forced to give you a pointed answer even though my personal-mother-figure told me it was impolite to pointed. Anyway, the truth is that Michelle is... a robot. Yes, I am sure you are shocked to hear this but you would be even more shocked if you stood near her during an electrical storm, if you catch my drift. The story goes that when Obama was young and being groomed for his future calling, his father Obama Wan Kenobi realized that no human womyn would be fit to serve as his companion. It was decided that something of a mechanical nature was needed, something he would be able to turn off so he could concentrate while watching "The Brady Bunch". Now, I'm sure you are saying "Opiate, how could this be, she is so lifelike?" All I can tell you is that Obama's mentors have much experience with such creations; in Chicago, they speak of "The Daley Machine" for good reason.

Ah, thank you for the clarification comrade Opiate! I guess the Michelle-bot was created before figured out how to get a T-850 series cybernetic combat chassis to look like a normal woman (see the current "Summer Glau" model for a contrast).

his father Obama Wan Kenobi realized that no human womyn would be fit to serve as his companion. It was decided that something of a mechanical nature was needed, something he would be able to turn off so he could concentrate while watching "The Brady Bunch".

And thus Android SheBPOed was born...

Commissar M wrote:Ah, thank you for the clarification comrade Opiate! I guess the Michelle-bot was created before figured out how to get a T-850 series cybernetic combat chassis to look like a normal woman (see the current "Summer Glau" model for a contrast).

An excellent observation Commissar, even though this model also seems to have defects (note the leakage of radiator fluid on the floor underneath the unit.) Regardless, I am sure the improved styling is of no consequence to Lord Obama as the comrades at Mizzzz Magazine consider him to be a consummate feminist in the fine tradition of Comrades William Clinton and Ted Kennedy:



Oops, sorry, my blunder, THIS is the real cover (so inspiring, don't you think?):