Most exciting news comrades! Our Dear Leader Barack Husseinovich Obama has performed a revolutionary miracle.

Having already pillaged all they could, thousands of hungry proles assembled in front of the White House to see if the kitchen staff would throw them a few scraps of Dear Mrs. Leader's lunch leftovers. Noticing the crowd was becoming more and more agitated, President Obama gathered Jay Carney, Harry Reid, John Kerry, and a few other trusted devotees to discuss options. After seriously considering a limited but effective drone strike, Obama instead ordered his disciples to feed the crowd.

A visibly nervous Jay Carney remarked, "Feed them? But we only have five EBT cards and two SNAP benefits". Obama looked up at the portrait of Karl Marx and mouthed what seemed to be a prayer. He then instructed Carney to head to the nearest supermarket where he was able to purchase chips, cola, and other foodstuffs for the hungry crowd thanks to the stream of taxable revenue generated from capitalist bourgeois scum.

Do not lose heart, comrades! From the current darkness and chaos caused by Ted Cruz, the Tea Party, and (probably) Bush, Dear Leader will lead us into the glorious Collectivist light!

I am thinking dear leader and Mrs dear leader could throw a roll or two from the table, to the hungry peoples. I mean, after all, how many could there be? Two... three? Our glorious Obama Economy has millions unemployed and happy.

Barry Akhbar!

we still have NPR up and running at least. They had an excellent show on rape today

A few years ago Dear Leader was throwing really lavish parties for leaders from around the world. Today all that has changed. Hard times have arrived, and the first couple spend many evenings on the porch eating leftover TV dinners.

In the old days... Well, why go on. Those days are only a memory.

"The eat-less admonitions of the first lady go out the bulletproof windows at....

...home again tonight: It's a four-course deal kicking off with a salad sprinkled with honey gastrique from the White House's own beehives (Who knew President Obama had his own beehives even?).
The main course involves petite filet with crab ravioli and then Hawaiian tuna tartare and spring pea salad, pickled carrots (young) and shaved ham. Dessert will be apple strudel because the German leader doesn't get enough of that at home.

The tablecloths are sequined, of course. The gold-rimmed china is old stuff left over from the failed eight years of you-know-who from Texas. The National Symphony Orchestra will provide beautiful music. Fifteen-year-old George Li will play the piano (no pressure there). Also performing will be James Taylor, who is not 15.

Judging by the volume of arrayed glassware, there will also be ample liquids to wash everything down."

And the miracles keep coming! I had half a potato this morning and I have ... half a potato tonight! If I don't eat any of it, and I can manage to keep the mice and squirrels away, I may have half of a potato tomorrow. All Hail the One that this one half potato keeps reproducing itself so long as I eat none of it!

Comrade Marx - I did NOT eat that potato(e) peeling last night. I think it was Comrade Krystyna...

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrade Marx - I did NOT eat that potato(e) peeling last night. I think it was Comrade Krystyna...

Oh dear.... it seems you have caught me.... I was just so hungry with there being no food because of the shutdown.... I shall get my shovel ready for 20 years hard labor in Siberia.