Snowed In - One Comrade Cannot Change The World!

Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce.

This is impossible comrades. How does one meager prole in our Peoples Security Apparatus get away with so much? We are a district county state nation World of The People™... how can this go on?

Let's listen......

Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce.

Did you hear that?

That is the People's Press keeping the proles constantly changing focus... we are good at that... why in the agitprop department of the glorious Obama Nation we re-focus on new stories daily just to keep the proles agitated.

Agitation without Action is important.

Did you just lose a limb? Forgettaboutit! Tommorrow there will be new news to keep you occupied until Obamacare fully kicks in or allows you to see a doctor.

Did Jesus just come back? Forgettabout it! Tommorrow we will ignore the Rapture in the news and focus on a glorious trip to Africa taken by The Obamas.

Did your child just die? Forgettaboutit! We just released a story about how the children are being saved by Dear Leader daily.

It's a cold day in hell. Keep your phone, email, and web surfing Tuned In!

We are so happy you could join us.

Now GET IN LINE FOR BEETS!


 

Comrade Red Ch Rooster,

I have waited daily in the highest branches of my tree for a sign. That's right, a simple sign of why everything is so, er...like it is. (whatever that means) And now, comrade, you have re-awakened the hope that was foundering in my small but equal breast. I shall wait no longer. It's back to the fields in the full knowledge that...what you said.


 

Chilli Pepper? What is this redacted Check? Che... Che was glorious comrade! Checkolsavakia? Glorious town! Cheater? Don't we all comrade?

Ah Hahhhhh... We got it! CHICKEN!!!! Why, we'll let you know as well as we've let other glorious comrades in the past.... we will burn in effigy hang crucify sell out our whole race and species, (psssst.... that's what being a prog is all about)... in order to bring about The Progressive World of Next Tuesday. We are the ultimate Uncle Tom and Master Racist all rolled into one hot tamale.

If you are Hispanic and we are Hispanic, doesn't matter, we want you to be poor groveling farm worker while we live fine and well on the hilltop, watching you toil amongst the beets. Comrade Marx only designated 2 classes for us! Isn't Collectivist Tribal Society grand?

Did you think we just landed, comrade?

Huh, huh Anyone?

That's what I thought!

These proles just violated a Thoughtcrime....

BBQ Chicken Anyone?


 

Golly! All along I'd thought that H.G. had it right...but I guess we were both on the wrong track. Prole, Prog, Eloi or Morlock...I wonder which I'll be?

wikipedia "Within their dwellings he discovers the machinery and industry that makes the above-ground paradise possible. He alters his theory, speculating that the human race has evolved into two species: the leisured classes have become the ineffectual Eloi, and the downtrodden working classes have become the brutish light-fearing Morlocks. Deducing that the Morlocks have taken his time machine, he explores the Morlock tunnels, learning that they feed on the Eloi. His revised analysis is that their relationship is not one of lords and servants but of livestock and ranchers. The Time Traveller theorizes that intelligence is the result of and response to danger; with no real challenges facing the Eloi, they have lost the spirit, intelligence, and physical fitness of humanity at its peak."
 

Captain Craptek

Golly! All along I'd thought that H.G. had it right...but I guess we were both on the wrong track. Prole, Prog, Eloi or Morlock...I wonder which I'll be?

The Squirrel.... Good Lenin, We love a good muse entertaining the glorious third eye through prog propaganda... and from wikimedia no less. You have bested the arch of time eternal, and written the course in a quote of progdilicious fortitude.

We are aghast... famished... and in need of scratch.

We must consult todays news in counter. Drive it to the very crux our lack of impetus in understanding. Empty this slight vessel and fill it with true Hope™.

Meanwhile, please turn 365 squares of that glorious red emblem you hold in your clutches and please recite to our meager understanding the answer once again.

In Collective Fortitude Your Meager Chicken,

RR
 

Red Rooster

Captain Craptek

Golly! All along I'd thought that H.G. had it right...but I guess we were both on the wrong track. Prole, Prog, Eloi or Morlock...I wonder which I'll be?

The Squirrel.... Good Lenin, We love a good muse entertaining the glorious third eye through prog propaganda... and from wikimedia no less. You have bested the arch of time eternal, and written the course in a quote of progdilicious fortitude.

We are aghast... famished... and in need of scratch.

We must consult todays news in counter. Drive it to the very crux our lack of impetus in understanding. Empty this slight vessel and fill it with true Hope™.

Meanwhile, please turn 365 squares of that glorious red emblem you hold in your clutches and please recite to our meager understanding the answer once again.

In Collective Fortitude Your Meager Chicken,

RR

Comrade Rooster,

I’ve heard that roosters crow at dawn - but at 3:05 AM? Unprecedented in my neighborhood. But then, many things are changing as the Glorious World of Next Tuesday™ unfolds before our beady eyes. Perhaps you are attempting to alter time in some way as speculated in my earlier post? No matter...

I have read and re-read your last message and come to the conclusion that it must be in some sort of code unfamiliar to me. Have you sent the key to another e-mail address to insure better security? If so, please try again as my spam detector is set to max.

Regarding the emblem; If I’m interpreting your language correctly, you refer to the multi- faceted red cube in my cute little paws. I assure you, comrade, I never leave the nest without it - spinning and spinning till my forelegs are numb without achieving the desired result. What is the desired result you ask? But perhaps you don’t ask that since you’re a Rooster. But to my rodent mind the desired result is a... er,...I’m still working that out and will get back to you.

And now to the point of this message...

****Sorry for not finishing this mail now...have to answer the door...BRB
 

Time is a Catch 22 Squirrel....

"Snowden is a member of Yossarian's flight during a mission, and acts as catalyst for the fundamental change in Yossarian's mentality and outlook. After their plane takes heavy anti-aircraft fire, Snowden is mortally wounded and Yossarian attempts to come to Snowden's aid by treating a serious leg wound with white bandages and sulfanilamide powder.

Eventually Yossarian notices bleeding from Snowden's armpit and realises he has another wound below his flak suit. As Yossarian rips open the flak suit, a fatal wound beneath exposes Snowden's internal organs which fall out onto the floor. A huge chunk of flak had ripped straight through his ribs from behind. Yossarian is horrified at the sight. Snowden is about to die, but is able to tell Yossarian he is cold. Yossarian covers Snowden in a parachute, and comforts him by saying "there, there".

Snowden's death embodies Yossarian's desire to evade death; by seeing Snowden's entrails spilling over the plane, he feels that "Man was matter, that was Snowden's secret. Drop him out a window and he'll fall. Set fire to him and he'll burn. Bury him and he'll rot, like other kinds of garbage. The spirit gone, man is garbage."

The experience on the plane dramatically changes Yossarian's attitude towards life. He looks only to protect his own life and, to a lesser extent, the lives of his close friends. Yossarian turns against the military and refuses to wear a uniform, his justification being he simply "doesn't want to," perhaps because he was traumatized and depressed by Snowden's death. The excuse Captain Korn gives to General Dreedle is that Snowden died in one uniform, and his remains were soaked into Yossarian's, and all of Yossarian's other articles of clothing were in the laundry. General Dreedle says "That sounds like a lot of crap to me." Yossarian replies, "It is a lot of crap, sir."

Hail Obama!
 

The Squirrel Returns, or, Flight of the Chicken


With apologies to Adeline J. Haws, 1929

The Rooster and The Squirrel

Said the big Red Rooster, "Believe me things are tough!"
The worms are getting scarcer and I cannot find enough,
What's become of all those fat ones? It's a mystery to me.
There were thousands through that rainy spell, But now, where can they be?"

But Old Gray Squirrel who heard him didn't grumble or complain,
He’d lived through lots of dry spells; he’d lived through floods of rain.
He picked a new and undug spot, at the base of a sprouting tree,
He would go where the nuts are buried now, not where they used to be.

Red Rooster vainly spent his day through habit, by the ways
Where fat round worms had passed in squads back in the rainy days.
When nightfall found him supperless, he growled in accents rough,
"I'm hungry as a fowl can be, conditions sure are tough."

But the Old Gray Squirrel hopped to his perch, and dropped his eyes to sleep
And murmured in a drowsy tone, "Young man, hear this and weep.
I'm full of nuts and happy for I've eaten like a pig.
The nuts were there as always, but, boy I had to dig!"

Вперёд, к победе коммунизма!
 

Well well well then (deep subject for digging), you finally found your nuts! About damn time! Now quit squandering nuts and get back to the beet fields! Proles cannot live on nuts alone! We got a world to save from Rethuglikkkan Hate!!!!

Hail Obama!
 

Comrade Rooster,

Thank you for bringing me to my senses once again. (or, more likely, for the first time) Anyway, all this deep thinking stuff has robbed me of time more productively spent daydreaming.


 

BLECK! It's too late in the afternoon for all this kissy kissy stuff!(Of course then a certain song about afternoon delight fills our prog brain)... Besides have you ever tried chicken lips? Ahem... We like contrary biological units just fine.... however only in full purpose to agitate coax towards the Progressive World of Next Tuesday! (or in the prostitutes union)

We are Feminist.... Nuts be damned....

Hail Obama!
 

I always wondered what a conversation between a chicken and squirrel would look like...