On this day, 1 April 2015, the People's Cube is celebrating ten glorious years of unstoppable revolutions. Jubilant masses of correctly educated workers, peasants, and unwashed toiling intelligentsia are coming together in towns and villages around the world, carrying People's Cube posters, peacefully hurling red cubes at the capitalist classes, and spontaneously chanting Party-approved slogans:

• Long live the Glorious World of Next Tuesday! Hurrah!
  
• Cheers for our beloved comrade Red Square, People's Director!
  
• We need more visual agitation and propaganda to tell us what to think!
  
• There is no truth but the Current Truth
  
• We demand equality of results!
  
• Ten years equals three Five-Year Plans completed ahead of schedule!

Ten years ago, when our Party Organ ascended over the digital horizon like the red sun of the media revolution, Comrade Red Square delivered his famous ten-hour speech, titled "Gulagosphere for the Masses." In part, he stated that the American Motherland was lagging a hundred years behind the Soviet Motherland in redistribution of wealth, collectivization, re-education, socialized healthcare, government dependency, and media compliance. Our most urgent task was to jam an entire century of missed progress into only ten years, so that we would have a chance to see the Glorious World of Next Tuesday in our time.

The people and the Party responded to such burning words with massive enthusiasm, closing the gap ahead of schedule and surpassing other nations in our collective march towards the Glorious Next Tuesday. At least that's where we are now according to the compliant media, and that's all that matters.


In response to hostile criticism coming from our enemies at home and abroad, we would ask them a question: If our nation and its leaders weren't following our instructions transmitted through the People's Cube, what would they do differently?

Upon completion of spontaneous rallies later tonight, the masses are scheduled to begin spontaneous celebrations according to the protocols developed by
the People's Cube Hospitality Committee.


A government-approved Giveaway™ of FreeStuff™ will be happening behind Tractor Barn #6, between the dunk tank filled with beet vodka and the "Pin the Tail Blame on Climate Change Deniers Using the 120 PSI Nail Gun" stall. In order to save on non-renewable resources, the traditional 'Bobbing for Beets' activity for the Children™ will be moved to the dunk tank. Bring Your Own Beets.


* * *
All those who have posted their celebratory comments ahead of schedule in unauthorized threads, are hereby directed to post them here and delete all evidence of their earlier online hooliganism.

Happy Birthday to The People's Cube!

Ten Years Ago Liberty Gave Birth to The Peoples Cube with Erno Rubik time-warping back to establish his role as an Obstetric Godfather proud of the creation by a fellow formerly-oppressed Soviet subject, Oleg Atbashian.


Today, April 1, 2015, the 10th Birthday of The Peoples Cube has been deemed such an important cultural milestone that there will be a movie about it. It will, at first blush, appear to be a sequel to "10" starring Mr. & Mrs. Red Square:



On the Tenth Anniverary of ThePeoplesCube.Com, Red Square displays his Golden Shovel while Mrs. Red Square secures The Peoples Cube.


--KOOK

For this day, we must look back to look towards the future. Of all the things we said that will happen in the World of Next Tuesday shall happen. Our days of living under capitalist oppression will soon be over. We are focusing on military plans, advanced technology, and more government control care.

In the world of Next Tuesday, Robots will need pets, cars will drive themselves (here for Captain Craptek's article), Dear Leader will celebrate his 10th anniversary in his palace, and we will finish the People's Plot ™ , the Gulag Apprentice ™, the food delivery to Laika, etc. I apologize comrades for forgetting some of your inputs of the World of Next Tuesday.

Join us in celebration of our party's anniversary as we think of Next Tuesday.

Open full image in new tab

There is no truth but the Current Truth™, and Red Square is its prophet!

Bah! Curses!

Well done, Dear Leader Comrade Square! Салют!!


No. Seriously. Well done, sir. I can't believe this place has been around for 10 years. Here's to two more 5-Year Plans of success!! :)

Red Square may have built that under the development of the Amerikkan Reconstruction and Recovery Act as developed by Dear Leader (PBUH).

FLATUS sends her regards too! (well, actually she just asked where the cake is...)

Ten years and I still haven't got this thing figured out. Which side is the red side? A red kangaroo from the red center of the land down under ought to know these things. I know. Hippy birthday!

Thank you for your hard work, Comrade!

.
Thank you Oleg... I know you work hard on your web site!

Plus you always dress nice... lucky Mrs. Red Square!
.

Glorious birthday to the People's Cube! And thanks so much to Comrade Red Square for creating and maintaining this wonderful place to enjoy and gather with other like minded Peoples. Most especially, as one who did not have graphical abilities properly redistributed/rationed to me (can I sue for discrimination?) thanks so much for the wonderful People's Illustrations!

And by the way, I recently watched Back to the Future Part II (from 1989) where they went to 2015. Why no reference to the People's Cube? It's 2015 and the Cube is here!

Dear Red Square and Mrs Red, Everything I don't have, I owe to the People's Cube. 25 years ago working in one of the capitalist road gangs, I was told by my overseer that I was not paid to think. Little did that capitalist puppet know how prophetic his words were! But until the enlightenment of ThePeoplesCube, I was lost but now I'm found, was blind and had not seen the glorious promise of Next Tuesday.

With shovel ready, I can look forward to ten more years of being told what to think.

Heartiest Congratulations to The Peoples Cube! Hurrah! Mr and Mrs Red Square.

Hooray! The cube lives on! All that I have to say about the Glorious Cube has already been said by other Comrades, but I offer another pictorial representation of my love for The Cube, and add it to the pile of tributes and offering already given by other Comrades:

I weep in pure joy! Happy Birthday comrades at glorious People's Cube! Two five year plans have come and gone.

.
Oleg... an old friend stopped by for some cake - Robert Mugabe!
.

.
I had to alter the image above so as to not offend one of our dear comrades...
.
Captain Craptek [highlight=#ffff00]DO NOT VIEW THE HIDDEN IMAGE[/highlight]!!

Forward, ever forward , to the glorious future... https://youtu.be/BKSkBsnfkFA

Happy Birthday, Cube. Here is your most appropriate birthday cake made by a party approved non-hate non-Christian progressive bakery.

.
El Presidente... good to see you again!
.
Care for a tankard of mead?!

You too Socialist Worker!
.

Captain Craptek wrote:

Oh, my! Is that a poor, endangered Polar Squirrel dying on a melting ice cube from all of the Global Warminsk Climate Change? Will the Deniers stop at NOTHING?

Pope Al Gorski warned us, back in 1988, that WE ONLY HAVE TEN YEARS TO SAVE THE EARTH. And he warned us again in 2004. Well, it's been ten years (math was never a strong requirement for Climate Scientists) and look at what has happened to this poor squirrel!

Comrade Putout wrote:.
El Presidente... good to see you again!
.
Care for a tankard of mead?!

You too Socialist Worker!

Comrade Putout, I'll take some if you're buying. I love me some mead, 'specially if it's in my belly.

Mazel Tov, and thanks for ten years of laughter and intellectual stimulation!Love,Mr. and Mrs. Ronitchka

Here's to another 10, Oleg!

I tug my forelock in awe of all that has been done and said here. Many happy returns of many more five-year plans, Comrade Square!

Many happy returns! Henceforth, let today be known as Prog Wednesday, only one week before Next Thursday!

Let the joy bells ring (moderately, of course, to eliminate noise pollution) and let the children frolic in the streets (properly barricaded and monitored by the People's Guard)!

Today is a day of celebration! Let the shovel-dance begin, and homage (plus any other negotiable items) be paid to Dear Leader! Let the cronies receive favors, and all others have mandatory health care and union dues!

Years from now, the survivors beneficiaries of Dear Leader's enlightened policies will be huddled around their campfires, burning books for heat and listening to the rats howl on the deserted rooftops, and they will remember, and proudly say "I was there when Oleg warned us!"

Hurray!!!

Comrade Putout, I'm shaking after reading the hidden picture! Comrade Captain Craptek, please do avert your eyes!

But you know, this got me thinking.... LGBTQXYZABCNAZISTASIs in Arkansas are about to get special rights. So, why just them? I think people in Arkansas do what was in that hidden picture that Captain Craptek shouldn't know about. So, why stop at LGBTQ? Can't we demand special rights for squirrels in Arkansas? Do they deserve to be roasted on a stick? Oops! Sorry, I shouldn't have given it away. Captain, would you be willing to be the spokessquirrel for this important new movement?

As COL Sanders stands up for the rights of chickens, I , Ivan the Stakhanovets, bon vivant and connoisseur of flame-cooked meaty creatures shall support the rights of squirrels to atone for their damages to the People's Orchards as they go about impaling themselves on sharpened sticks and marinating themselves in a light sauce with a secret blend of herbs and spices before roasting themselves over a slow bed of coals...

They know what they've done, who are we to stand in their way?

.
Many things happened behind the scenes yesterday for a successful ten-year anniversary celebration.

Ivan the Stakhanovets supervised his decennial massive erection
of 'The Ten-Prole People's Beet Bong.'

Vladimir Scratchanitch was a big help when he wasn't drinking the beet vodka.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA asked John Mellencamp to join The People's Band and he did! They practiced jumping up and down most of the day.

The first load of beet vodka had a nutty aftertaste... now I see why!

Oleg let Ivan wear the 'BOSS' jacket all day... HE. WAS. STOKED!!
.

On behalf of Cubeheads across the globe, we say thank you Oleg, for giving us a forum dedicated to finding the humor in the words and actions of those who work so hard to silence us and banish us to utter irrelevancy. Laughter is necessary for survival, and under the guiding hand of our beloved Chairman Red Square, the kollektive have redistributed that necessary sustenance to the world through this medium. Viva el Cubo! Long Live The Cube!

Happy Anniversary, Oleg and Larissa!

Thank you for providing us with a much needed oasis of love and humor where we can "escape" from the horrors of the day.

Jeesh, I found the love of my life right here at the People's Cube, Comrade Tovarich, and all I had to do is login!

That's impressive!

Nicely played, dear Oleg! Very nicely!

Comrade Putout wrote:.
El Presidente... good to see you again!

Thank You, Putout. I am like the NSA. Although you may not see me or hear me for a while I can assure you I am lurking and seeing all that is being said within the confines of The Cube.

.
Was anyone else as upset as I was when these 5 trainees from Tractor Barn 3 showed up at our party?!

They took a selfie documenting how happy they were that Ivan never did get his balls into their Solo cups...
.

May another decade of progress Commence!