You saw it here first: The Fine Report adds a new noun to the English language.

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Dear Comrade Fine,

I have been having problems with my Obama, it's very red and itchy. It might get a little better now that the Party's Magazine "Newsweek" is no longer available to use as toilet paper. I am sure not looking forward to going back to using NYT because Paul Krugman and Maureen Dowd make it even more so... I'll have to ask R.O.C.K and Krasnodar what they use. I sure wish "Wonkette" came in paper form.......

Comrade Robot, ask yourself - what would any progressive, tolerant, Misloom-respecting Koran reading person use?

I can't speak for Krasnodar, but who needs paper?

I, Krasnodar, can speak for Krasnodar, who is myself.

As to help with saving the planet, I use recycled 36 grit sanding belts.
Or used coffee filters.
Then there's my printed transcripts of Comrade Biden's stirring campaign speeches.

Most often though, whatever's within reach.
But I never... and I mean never , use my spoon. Ain't gonna happen.

BTW: Does anyone out there know how to get spiderwebs off a bar of soap ?

What is this, becoming the 'Pooplescube?'

I found that discarded corn cobs from the ethanol factory can be used several times just by rinsing them off after every use.

Dear Leader™ uses something call a "constitution", that he shreds into pieces so he has enough to last a week or so.

'Ol Joe, from what I heard, scoots around on the carpet on his ass and then blames it on dirty shoes.

Corporeal Whinny wrote: 'Ol Joe, from what I heard, scoots around on the carpet on his ass and then blames it on dirty shoes.

I'm gonna' remember that one ! Excellent work, Comrade.

Ear Leader told Comrade Putin that he would have more flexibility after the election. It appears that Ear Leader has been practicing and is quite flexible now. Hypoxia would certainly explain his policies and his campaign style.Oh, and Comrade Robot, for future reference: although they are natural and organic, neither poison ivy, poison oak, nor poison sumac are appropriate cleaning that area of the body. Such use results in the symptoms you described.

I wipe my Obama with nothing but the best.

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Autoendoproctanism is self inflicted. Time of waste is waste of time and waste. Is mind over splatter which came form said mind. Why bother?