A UFO (unidentified floating object) has washed up on Green Head beach in Jurien Bay, Western Australia. 

[click for larger in new window]

An earbash was made at the scene by Western Australia Chief Constable Max Figjam: 

"We found the alleged UFO yesterday arvo and it fair dinkum looks like a bloody big exy beachball left behind by some lazy bludger or Abo ankle biter,  but we reckon it's London to a brick the Chinese are behind it and we're keeping it in iso.

Here's the drum—don't touch it, don't get near it and for chrisssake tell your cobbers and shark biscuits to stay away from the fucking doovalacky because it might be radioactive or make ya chunder.

Also, we're asking UFO dags not to start any furphy on Facey about this until we give our fossick the flick. It's no piece of piss: we have heaps of hard yakka ahead and we'll be busy as a cat burying shit so it may take awhile. Bob's your uncle." 

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/jul/17/mystery-object-wa-beach-green-head-western-australia

umm...Right. I was going to say that.

The good news, it looks big enough, and seems to be watertight. If we can get it here, take out the extra junk inside and pressure wash the inner walls, we could ferment store beets agricultural insecticides or maybe fertilizers to improve morale prodctivity on the collective.

For the People™ of course.

Perhaps it would be a great place to store the Whitehouse Cocaine, who would suspect?

Is it big enough for that?

Just asking, you know, for a comrade...

All levity aside there has been a big development: 

https://arstechnica.com/science/2023/07 ... hat-it-is/


The People's Cube, using The People's News Network's vast array of surveillance antennas radio telescopes has intercepted the alien message being emitted from GPM J1839–10 since 1988. Here it is:


It seemed indecipherable until the TPNN staff called in the janitor (the one who usually wears a tinfoil hat, not the one with the crazy nostril hairs) to take a look. After a few bottles of Krasnodar Special Old Preserve, he provided a translation:


Comrades, do you realize the magnitude of this astounding event? "Parker Lewis Can' Lose" now has a chance of making a comeback!

If the Hollywood strikes end.

Which they won't.

Oh, well.


 

Finally, language I can understand. I have no idea what he's talking about but I understand what he's saying.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote: ↑

8/4/2023, 3:08 pm

...I have no idea what he's talking about...

This:

Australia’s got nothing UFO on Texazistan. These lights have been out there since forever.



Comrades may recall that Marfa is where Supreme Court Justices go to die.

https://www.texastribune.org/2016/02/13 ... ound-dead/

Ruth Bader-Ginsburg is still holding "night court" in Marfa...