Dateline Hartford, Connecticut -

President Barackzebub Hussein Obamavich traveled to Connecticut yesterday, to the scene of a tragic mass murder committed by an alleged NRA member and right wing extremist known to have gone to church a couple of times and no one knows for sure how many drugs he was on and we don't care.

As he reached over and tweaked Vice President Joe "The Clown" Biden's huge red nose, the president commented that "Some folks in Washington are already floating the idea that they may use political stunts to prevent votes on any of these reforms". He then ducked to avoid the double barrels of Biden's shotgun as the vice president waved it wildly at the crowd.

The president added "I've got to go now, got another round of golf to play" "What's more important to you -- our children or an A grade from the gun lobby?" as he headed back to Air Force one with several family members of the Sandy Hook victims of gun violence which could have been prevented if nobody had any guns and the Republicans were all in prison.

Comrade ROCK,

Forgive me. Apparently, I have suffered an unsolicited thought fragment; i.e., Did His Majesty order all Secret Service personnel to disarm during The Children's™ flight back to The White Fortress? After all, The Children™ and their safety come first (or at least equal) - not His Majesty's. I'm heading out for a Jiffy-Lobo later today, so I hope you'll keep this admission to yourself. Thanks in advance.

Comrade Craptek, I will confess - to you and you alone - that I, too, frequently have unsolicited thought fragments. And yes - I AM due for a Jiffy-Lobo™ any day now.

But I'll hate to lose The Voices...

This just in: Vice President Joe "The Clown" Biden says, "Kinda scary man, the black helicopter crowd is really upset,” referring to the possible creation of a federal government gun registry.

Comrade FLATUS Mooochelle Obama, with tears in her eyes and her voice cracking, spoke out for the first time in Chicago Wednesday about the gun violence afflicting young people in cities across the nation.

She took a rare step for any first lady into the legislative fight of the hour, saying her husband, President Barackzebub Hussein Obama, is "fighting as hard as he can, and engaging as many people as he can, to pass common-sense reforms to protect our children from gun violence."

Mooochelle then stated that "These reforms deserve a vote in Congress," drawing loud applause from hundreds of Chicago's business executives and civic leaders who were there to be seen with the first lady and to progressively move FORWARD!

Maybe she will advise His Majesty to prosecute a few of the thousands of illegal gun possession cases waiting for Eric in Chicago before piling on more laws. I know, wishful thinking.

Comrade Craptek, you misunderstand:

WE NEED A VOTE!!!

(for the children)

Sorry. I get so confused right after my Lobos...I think...Anyway, I didn't know the Senate could vote on an amendment to the Constitution. Jeez...I need a drink.

Me, I always take a good bottle (or preferably two) of beet vodka along with me to my Jiffy-Lobo™ appointments (one for on the way, one for on the way home). Of course, in larger Jiffy-Lobo™ franchises they have beet vodka on-site, but it still helps to have a bottle to drink on the way to your appointment.

Pshaw - don't worry about what the Senate is voting on - it's a living breathing penumbra, our constitution! The Senate is part of our government, and we must never forget that our government is here to help us!

Remember, Comrades, the motto of our Party:

One man,
One vote,
One time!

Onward to Progress!

Comrade Climber - have you switched parties? Or is that just progressive humor?

Comrade Rock, are you attempting to denounce me as disloyal to the Party? Don't you know that repeated elections are unnecessary once the correct leadership is installed? Why must we vote for Comrade President Obama over and over again? One time is enough, and then he can continue to speak for the People and lead them as they declared him to be their leader. Does a true leader of the People stop being a leader after certain period of time? There is no expiration date on Socialist leadership, Comrade!

Nomenklatura-climber wrote:Comrade Rock, are you attempting to denounce me as disloyal to the Party? Don't you know that repeated elections are unnecessary once the correct leadership is installed? Why must we vote for Comrade President Obama over and over again? One time is enough, and then he can continue to speak for the People and lead them as they declared him to be their leader. Does a true leader of the People stop being a leader after certain period of time? There is no expiration date on Socialist leadership, Comrade!

This is true. I've checked.

Once you go Red, you'll say 'till you're dead!

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

FLATUS.jpg

Comrade FLATUS Mooochelle Obama, with tears in her eyes and her voice cracking, spoke out for the first time in Chicago Wednesday about the gun violence afflicting young people in cities across the nation.

She took a rare step for any first lady into the legislative fight of the hour, saying her husband, President Barackzebub Hussein Obama, is "fighting as hard as he can, and engaging as many people as he can, to pass common-sense reforms to protect our children from gun violence."

Mooochelle then stated that "These reforms deserve a vote in Congress," drawing loud applause from hundreds of Chicago's business executives and civic leaders who were there to be seen with the first lady and to progressively move FORWARD!

Actually, it wasn't her voice cracking; it was the sound of 9MM gun shots on the Westff and Souff sides repsectively as the typical Monday morning Death Toll Reports reveal more "gun bannin'" success. Every Monday morning, for those of us who are cursed relegated to living around the Chitcago area, we are treated to the weekend dead body and wounded count. With such commonplace news to brighten the start of one's week, it's no wonder The First Horse MOO-chelle can demagague her rotund heifer ass till the cows come home and nothing will change.

It's not unusual, or noteworthy, to see a crowd of typical Chitcago LIVs applauding the First Horse as she brays, neighs and whinnies about "gun control" as the homie thug mobs gather around Michigan Ave to harrass and beat up innocent shoppers and tourists just for the hell of it.

It's Monday again. Time to see how all those "common sense" gun reforms are working for the Dead Body Count update.