Chelsea Strikes Blow for Wymyn's Rights & Income Inequality!

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Talented Daughter of MTE Shows Path to True Equality

Washington, DC - Glorious advocate for Wymyn's Rights and the Income Inequality ™ pay gap imposed on the female gender by the evil, capitalist ReThuglicans spoke today about her struggle to improve working conditions for all wymyn.

"My upbringing, like so many women, consisted of education opportunities at the Sidwell Friends School, Stanford, Oxford, Columbia and NYU. Despite my underprivileged background, I was able to obtain degrees in History, International Relations and Public Health Administration which fully qualified me for the career role that allowed me to break through the glass ceiling of televised journalism."

In November 2011, NBC announced that they hired Clinton as a special correspondent. One of her roles was reporting feature stories about "Making a Difference" for NBC Nightly News and Rock Center with Brian Williams. Clinton spent a total of 23 minutes on-the-air and was compensated $600,000 or $26,000 per minute.

"I was able to reach a pay wage that was nearly equal to Brian Williams - a man - because of my comparable skills and experience. If every women could be compensated at $1,560,000 per hour as a minimum wage, we would vanquish income inequality in America, like....forever."

The White House was so enamored of the idea, they immediately rushed legislation over to Capitol Hill proposing a hike to make the minimum wage $1,560,000 per hour.

In totally unrelated news, the Dow Jones industrial average dove 15,041 points today from its previous high of 16,578. Additionally, 479 of the Fortune 500 filed petitions of bankruptcy in Federal court.