News We Don't Have Time To Write About (archive)

New play Don Quixote Tilting at Statues big hit
 

Antifa activists attempt to topple "obvious White Supremacist" Sheila Jackson Lee
 

National Weather Service designates Al Gore Category 5 Windbag
 

Progressive organizations at campuses protest Pythagoras' Theorem -- invented by a long-dead White slave-owner.
 

Shadowing Trump, Obama visits Waco, TX. In stilettos!
 

North Korean scientists propose solving global warming with nuclear winter.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/02/asia/nort ... index.html
 

CNN: Antifa acivists combating fascist capitalism at its source by smashing, burning childrens' lemonade stands
 

Wonder how Hillary's campaign spent over a billion dollars? She charged her own campaign a speaking fee every time she made a campaign appearance.
 

Watch for Micheal Moore's newest film: "Two Hurricanes and a West Coast Firestorm, How it is All Trump's Fault" showing soon in a basement near you!
 

IRMA declared "Hurricane of Peace", Obama urges press not to jump to conclusions, as not all hurricanes to be judged by the actions of one extremist...
 

You Just Can't Make This Up File: http://dailycaller.com/2017/09/07/denve ... -genitals/. *
*I'm still trying to find out if necrophilia is a protected class...
 

Spells incorrectly cast by unlicensed witches seeking to hurt Trump blamed for causing extreme weather instead.
 

Irma worst hurricane in decades to hit Cuba, causes millions of dollars worth of improvements to property and infrastructure
 

Activists denounce 'man-made climate change', demand more gender inclusivity.
 

DNC embroiled in controversy after official Twitter account accidentally 'likes' pictures of US Constitution & Bill of Rights
 

Bernie introduces single-payer public transportation bill to end our unequal, unfair, and expensive private transportation system.
 

Hillary holds up her middle finger, tells America it's five.
 

CNN: Trump declines to release his visitors at Mar-a-Lago
 

ISIS rushes to claim responsibility for Hurricane Maria, before it can be co-opted by the MSM blaming it on the Trump Administration.
 

Kim Jong-Un calls Trump "dotard." Trump's diplomatic response; "Oh yeah? You're a bigger one."
 

Gigolos march on Washington, demand any new healthcare legislation mandate coverage for Viagra
 

NFL unveils new slogan for Sunday telecasts: Are You Ready for Some Politics?
 

Bill Gates offers to pay for Trump's border wall on the sole condition that he can install Windows.
 

As German voters catapult AfD (*2013) to #3 in their political landscape, Godwin's Law
declares permanent relocation into Germany's mainstream until 2021, and laments being already overbooked for the next 12 months.
 

CNN: Man without handgun permit shoots up church; public policy experts baffled
 

Now also the residence of Godwin's Law (relocated to Germany) is known: of course, Bundestag!
 

Latest expansion pack introduces several alternatives to the SJW: Social Justice Mage, Social Justice Shaman, and Social Justice Paladin
 

Millions of men worldwide eagerly await Hugh Hefner's funeral, interested solely in the articles.
 

Hugh Hefner reincarnated as butterfly in Nikolaas Tinbergen experiment.
 

(file under Life Imitates The People's Cube)

Germany: Bundestag crisis! Nobody wants to sit next to the AfD Nazi fraction!
 

Nation anxiously awaiting late-night shows to tell them how to feel and what to think about the day's news.
 

Once again White Supremacism pinches all Egghead Nobel Prizes!
World Community demands Nobel justice in Literature & Peace! NOW!
 

Berkeley students protest hotness of summer and coldness of winter, declare seasons tools of capitalistic oppression
 

Oslo, Norway: Advocacy group no one's ever heard of and which you'll forget about immediately after reading this headline awarded 2017 Nobel Peace Prize
 

DNC: All of America needs the common-sense gun laws already enacted in Chicago
 

Nation shocked to learn that morbidly-obese comedian died in his 40s
 

California Governor Jerry Brown signs bill making it a felony to knowingly expose someone to traditional bourgeois morality.
 

The last person to leave California will have no need to turn off the lights.
 

Harvey Weinstein repents, will do penance by attacking NRA and Trump.
 

To slip into victim status, reports say, Weinstein parades now in blackface.
 

University students across America change Indian Summer to Indigenous Peoples' Summer, demand more recognition & inclusivity for alternative seasons.
 

Boy Scouts of America announces plans to begin selling cookies at 77% the price of Girl Scout cookies by 2020, citing access to anticipated female sales force as driving factor behind the steep discount
 

If you or a loved one has been sexually harassed by Harvey Weinstein, you may be entitled to financial compensation. Call 1-866-9HARVEY today for a free consultation with a legal professional


 

"If this be sabotage then let us make the most of it!"
 

2020: If you like your Trump, you can keep your Trump!
 

Universities nation-wide to hold a new highly structured and centrally-planned "Curriculum Disruption Week"
 

North Korean leadership joins American Progressives calling to behead Trump.
 

Whoopi G, renowned expert in progressive rape-rapism, defends Weinstein: Ok, he harassed, but it wasn't harassment-harassment.
 

Broken toe mystery solved: Ma'am Incompetent stumbled over a Russkie lump of ²³⁸U !
 

... On the positive side: Luckily, it wasn't Slick Willy. Just think of what he would have broken!
 

Oh, Weinstein now gone from blackface to raghead. _ Al-Nabidh Hijr al-Amriki? _ (authentication)
 

 

#OscarSoRape
 

George W. Bush on opposing Trump: "We need to abandon freedom and democracy to save freedom and democracy."
 

World Health Organization drops violent dictator Robert Mugabe as Goodwill Ambassador, appoints Kim Jong Un as replacement
 

Jimmy Carter offers to negotiate a treaty with Democrats
 

Women climate scientists march on Washington, demand Constitutional amendment protecting a climate's right to choose
 

Lenin's Gravitational Wave!
Oct. 25, 1917 - October Revolution! Yet exactly 100 years later: Nope! It was on Nov. 7, 1917!
 

Hillary Clinton denies any foreknowledge of her birthday; "I heard about it on CNN."
 

Mueller's Friday-bombshell!

Charge: Not uranium, plutonium; not 20%, but 50%; and not Putin, but Mugabe.
Reason: Just to distract from sex-affairs with boys.
Perp: Trump!
 

Look-and-feel of Mueller's operation these days: dark comedy-drama, by Stanley Kubrick, based on a script by John le Carré, with a good shot of Gogol's Revisor in it.
 

Mueller's epiphany: DC-swamp is a recursively self-referential revolving-door operation.
 

We'll know we've arrived at Next Tuesday when everyone feels oppressed by everyone else
 

NYC reverses trans fat ban, de Blasio declares "Transphobia has no place in our city's restaurants" amid calls for more food and nutritional inclusivity.
 

Area man dressed up as Climate Change for Halloween won't shut-up and go away
 

Bernie Sanders decries Republican's tax cuts, demands Free Silver.
 

NYC attack: CNN runs empty chyrons, as prog Americans anyway know what to think.
 

NEXT TUESDAY BEGINS
 

CNN: New CNN poll of CNN staff and viewers finds deep disapproval of President Trump's job performance
 

Donald Trump loses governors race in Virginia and New Jersey
 

Klimax of Progdom: Howl on Nov. 8th, Antifa-masked, and Pussyhat on top.
 

Psychic alleges that Trump thought about molesting her...
 

Feminizm is to Feminae what Brutalizm is to Ars architectura.
 

Short and fat Little Rocket Man rolled out his latest doomsday fluid - euphemized as "thick fog" - against the "mentally deranged dotard" Toranpu.
 

NYT to hire Hillary as campaign advice columnist Ask Hillary
 

The Revolution Wants Women hubba hubba!
 

Outing! Sen. Elizabeth Warren: Yes, I'm lesbian. And planning to marry Rachel Dolezal.
DNC ecstatic: Our candidate! Hat-trick! LGBTQQIP2SAA, doubly colored, and non-penile!
 

FBI turned over docs on Clinton/Lynch tarmac meeting. Disclosed: Mr. Clinton orchestrated it. And, basically the meeting consisted of Mr. Clinton groping (if not outright shtupping) Ms. Lynch.
 

Leftist creeps don't only objectify women. The left objectifies everyone.
 

SHOCKING: This clickbait article shows you how OUTRAGED you should be about this OUTRAGEOUS thing that happened involving Trump!