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Orientation Training for Newly Arrived Thoughtcriminals

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Penguins don't shovel anything as we are more equal than others. After all, the lesser species will need guidance and leaders. This is where we come in. Do you really think a goat, or a pig, or an obama could do that?



((I always say, George Washington would have a concussion by now, due to all the facepalming he'd have done since Barry O entered office))

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There's a dolphin here who thinks that dolphins are more equal than others.

By all means, Guin, come out to the Rancho del Rio Grande. We have wonderful lessons on equality.

You'll <i>love</i> them.

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Comrade Guin be careful as the Party is very concerned with the welfare of the polar bear. It appears that they are losing habitat at the Noth Pole and if you are not careful they may redistribute your habitat to the polar bears. I would imagine that polar bears would find millions of your comrades to be tasty treat.

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Comrade Guin, are you an Emperor? or more of a Macaroni?

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Comrade Guin, are you an Emperor? or more of a Macaroni?

That would depend on where he stuck his feather, wouldn't it?

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All this talk of rights is rather macaronic. For it's all about shoveling, isn't it? Why are we having this discussion when there are fields of beets waiting to be dug.

Comrade Guin,

Perhaps you recognize this enemy of the people below? Perhaps a cousin of yours, they do say birds of a feather folk together.


Marshal Pupovich
it may be necessary to do a people's search, I have some experience with collecting samples from these cunning, flight challenged,happy dancing, tuxedo wearing, evil masterminds

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Comrades, there is disturbing delinquent Penguin behavior going on, they are interrupting the People's Bliss. No wonder Comrade Guin is against the people's shoveling. I have "dug up" some unsettling Penguin on Penguin Crime, check the people's you tube list. What is there a herring shortage?

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I'm inclined to think that these penguins are prone to violence. That's good. That could come in very handy indeed...

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:The music is more thuggish than the fight.

Ah yes, Comrade Commissar. Comrade 'Lil John is my #1 recommendation for Obamissar of Crunk! Even the most perfunctory comparison of his skills and the skills of The One will show that one was clearly influenced by the other"

Comrade John: Makes millions of CEUs by repeating the words "Yeah!!" "What?!" and "OK!!"

The One: Gets elected President by repeating the words "Hope!!" "Change!!" and "Yes we can!" and then spends nearly a trillion CEUs.

-OV

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Nearly a trillion? Vodkavich, you underestimate true Progressive Power. Since most of the stimulus bill won't be in time to do any stimulus, but will be in time to reward the party faithful, more stimulus could be called for.

Let us never forget the cry of the true socialist. "Socialism would work if it were tried right."

"Billions and billions wasted. Millions and millions killed."

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Comrade Reecant wrote:Comrade Guin,

Perhaps you recognize this enemy of the people below? Perhaps a cousin of yours, they do say birds of a feather folk together.


Marshal Pupovich
it may be necessary to do a people's search, I have some experience with collecting samples from these cunning, flight challenged,happy dancing, tuxedo wearing, evil masterminds

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Ah, what a joy that was! That was truly one of my most enjoyable missions, bringing that criminal to justice! The noble dog has long been responsible for bringing ThoughtCriminals to justice.

Greetings, Comrades!
Image (One of the first things Obama will do - Politicize the Army around THE LEADER, and re-distribute some of their weapons amongst his minions... Civillian Nacional Guard, as he calls it)
From over the Ocean, I come, to tell you, first hand, what glorious Future awaits you!

What you will just now experience, I've already lived trough!

-Mind numbing anti-gun hysteria, from the Official Illegal Gun Sellers, I.E. the Police;
-Rules and regulations from Mitteleuropa, about each and every aspect of your free life;
-Stupid, cliché-barfing, Intellectuals that can't have an original idea to save their equal lives!
-A climate of FEAR, that will make you run from your own shadow, while the more equal Comissars prance around on their Limos, sorrounded by their Goons!

...And not to forget, the Media Circus every-time some American got shot, now replaced by a daily account of our own gun fights...
That our Glorious Commissars say should be ignored, so as the common serf can PERCEIVE it's his High Level of Safety!

Want to know what awaits you?

Ask me, been there, been done that!

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I love intellectuals. They are such useful idiots people. Their egos and vanity are so easily appealed to--ask them for advice and seeing a chance to get power without working for it, they will always offer advice with a huge load of compulsion loaded in.

And this does not bother them. They are happy to roll in their little perks and have the thuggish totalitarians glorious leaders buy them off seek their advice, and they can be counted on to go onto television programs and talk incomprehensibly and sneer people down into doubting that they know anything. When they certainly do.

Intellectuals?

Knew some. Then I found out most are PowerMan-whores, as you say.
Then I got into MAKING stuff.

Lost that Intelo veneer when I made my first Prototype, or when I made my first zip gun. Or was it when I melted my first Aluminum cast?
It's incredible what maturity you get from testing a Prototype, seeing it fail, then doing the damn work WELL, and seeing it work until you get bored of it.
But I don't regret the time I spent chasing Commie hussies tail liberated communist girls, now I learned their wicked ways deep personalities AND I can Frankenstein-make a computer form 3 or 4 dead PCs, and make it work better than a brand new one, 'cos I install Ubuntu.

My dream is to make an Auto Rifle that needs not Gun Powder, and how close am I to deliver? See the next Chapters...
Uh, oh, forgot that guns are EVIL...
Talked about the possibility of such a device to a brilliant, but British, Inventor. His reaction:

"That's good, then we can make non-lethal weapons (this gun is highly flexible in performance) AND GIVE THEM TO THE POLICE!"
They now want to take guns away even from the Cops, in GB!!!!

Diverging completely, as Inventors are the Crazy Relatives of Intellectuals, here's a completely useless Invention of mine, to spoof UFO buffs:

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:I love intellectuals. They are such useful idiots people. Their egos and vanity are so easily appealed to--ask them for advice and seeing a chance to get power without working for it, they will always offer advice with a huge load of compulsion loaded in.

And this does not bother them. They are happy to roll in their little perks and have the thuggish totalitarians glorious leaders buy them off seek their advice, and they can be counted on to go onto television programs and talk incomprehensibly and sneer people down into doubting that they know anything. When they certainly do.

But Commissar, you are the People's Intellectual! So is there not just a little bit of cognitive dissonance when you state "They are such useful idiots people?" Now grant it, I have found you to be most useful on several occasions and look forward to using you in the future.

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Marshal, I don't mind <i>being</i> and intellectual, if I am, but god forfend that I should believe any bullshit that I, as an intellectual, should put out.

The evil Rethuglicans are the only people who are not ideologues. The Rethuglicans will say, "That won't work," based on experience, or "Why? That's never been done." Sometimes there's no reason not to do something, but there's every reason to be chary of doing something new because no one is smart enough to figure out what is going to happen. The law of unintended consequences. Such as the 401(k). That wasn't meant to happen; people were <i>never</i> supposed to be able to save money outside social security because that would give them too much power.

So the Rethuglicans are the horrible people who stand athwart the road to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(tm). That is why they must go while we all change, Hope, Change, Believe, Yes We Can. And then run off the next cliff. The Rethuglicans would say, "What's at the bottom of the cliff?" That's why I hate them.

The danger of being an intellectual is that you believe your own bullshit. And it's very tempting to think, "Well, if I just did <i>that</i>, then we could have a perfect world."

A lot of intellectuals get other people to believe them because it's easier than thinking for themselves, and because they begin to believe their own bullshit.

One of the troubles with being an intellectual is that if you're convincing enough, people just don't look closely.

Except of course for His O'liness, out of whose ass the sun shines and ultimate truth prevails.


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Ah, welcome to The Collective, Comrade McStupid. You're a Comrade after my own heart.

Now to business:

You have two bottles of vodka, but as a member of the unwashed masses, you are entitled to a ration of 1/2 shot per day. Hand it over.

Commissar Obamissar Vodkavich
Commissar of Obamissars, Gulags, and Car Wash Products
Not to be confused with The Criminally Insane Vodkavich

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McStupid, here you are in Latin:

Bibo ergo sum.

What about

Non cogito ergo sum democraticus.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Marshal, I don't mind <i>being</i> and intellectual, if I am, but god forfend that I should believe any bullshit that I, as an intellectual, should put out.

The evil Rethuglicans are the only people who are not ideologues. The Rethuglicans will say, "That won't work," based on experience, or "Why? That's never been done." Sometimes there's no reason not to do something, but there's every reason to be chary of doing something new because no one is smart enough to figure out what is going to happen. The law of unintended consequences. Such as the 401(k). That wasn't meant to happen; people were <i>never</i> supposed to be able to save money outside social security because that would give them too much power.

I am confused Commissar. On the one hand you admit that you are an intellectual. but warn about the dangers of actually believing anything you or an intellectual should put out. Then you go on and describe the rethuglicans as the sort that would not fall for such intellectual arguments rather going for experience, logic, even reason. So that sort of seems to make you a "closet rethuglican," one that speaks intellectual rubbish, but thinks like a rethuglican!

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To quote the French king, "So I contradict myself. I am large."

[ off ]
I truly do not trust intellectuals. At the end of their lives they tend to get lazy and embrace totalitarianism.

Now here's the BRAND NEW, Future SUVs and Hummers for the People, as set by Marshall Al Gorevsky, so as not to raise the "Carbon Dioxide global warming"*:
Politically Correct Cars!

Of course, all outdated and criminally expensive cars existing will be requisitioned, to be distributed by people that really need them, .I.E, the top ranks of the HopeSSR!


*...Or Stupid, yet Trendy Scam.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:To quote the French king, "So I contradict myself. I am large."

[ off ]
I truly do not trust intellectuals. At the end of their lives they tend to get lazy and embrace totalitarianism.

People must age very quickly, here on Europe...
I heard many a young enough folk, here, say they are disillusioned with the Left, but will vote on the same Party, 'till they die!

...And you can quote in Latin!

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edgarinventor wrote:I heard many a young enough folk, here, say they are disillusioned with the Left, but will vote on the same Party, 'till they die!
The same here, Comrade, and thank god for it. That means that we never have to justify anything we do, knowing that the sheeple will follow without question.

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I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me instead of a pre-frontal lobotomy.


Aint that right, brain in jar?

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If you use Pinkie's Putinka vodka the only difference is, well, there's no difference, come to think of it.

[off]
I really hope you guys will do more than wit, when the proverbial shit hits the fan.
If, when America catches a cold, Europe suffers Pneumonia, doesn't take a genius to guess what will become of us here, if you guys take a head-on plunge into what I've witnessed here in 1975.

Does that make me old? Don't give a rat's ass. Inventors age slow!


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Greetings Tovarishtshi!

My humblest apologies, but the miliz put me on the wrong train. Instead of first heading to re-education camp to find my inner comrade, miliz sent me to Kreml, where I interrupted the Verkhovnyi Sovet. Comrade Red, however, was most understanding and showed me the correct way (at gunpoint.)

So here I am in re-education camp. I was given Genosse Pieck as my Name in honor of the first Great Leader of the DDR. I hail from the Imperial British Occupied Zone of Germany, but have long worked for the proletariate underground, digging tunnels to help downtrodden comrades escape to East.

After Great Leader Clintonov came to power, I waited four years for place on boxcar to USSA. I eventually settled in the Soviet Republic of Washington, Clark Oblast, Vancouvrye Kolchos. I am happy digging for beets, potatoes and rocks.

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Greetings Comrade Pieck! As a temporary resident of the People's Progressive Collective of Baden-Württemberg, I am pleased to welcome you to The People's Cube. Furthermore, as a former temporary resident of the People's Progressive Commune of Vancouver, I salute you in your Progressiveness, though Vancouver's progressiveness is easily exceeded by the Saturday crowd at Pioneer Square or Pike Place Market. I trust you stay on the North side of the Columbia river to patriotically pay sales taxes and that you recycle your cans and bottles on the North side as well for the sheer pleasure of serving Gaia, rather than emitting carbon during the journey across the drink to collect the .05 Capitalist Exploitation Units per beverage vessel. Many are the rocks you will find as you dig toward Next Tuesday. Welcome!

Commissar Obamissar Vodkavich
Commissar of Obamissars, Gulags, and Car Wash Products
Not to be confused with The Criminally Insane Vodkov

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Thank you kindly for your welcome, Comrade Commissar!

I am happy to denounce myself when I say that I am so progressive, I patriotically pay sales tax in the Soviet of Washington, as well as income tax to the Soviet of Oregon! It is truly a worker's paradise! Like having a datcha on the Black Sea and working like a slave contributing to the Greater Good for the masses at the same time!

I also patriotically only drink water, as the Worker's Kombinate "People's Collective Mint (San Francisco Obamagrad)"needs the aluminum to mint more coin.

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Genosse Pieck wrote:Greetings Tovarishtshi!

My humblest apologies, but the miliz put me on the wrong train. Instead of first heading to re-education camp to find my inner comrade, miliz sent me to Kreml, where I interrupted the Verkhovnyi Sovet. Comrade Red, however, was most understanding and showed me the correct way (at gunpoint.)

Welcome to the Collective Comrade Pieck. I can see that the Progressive force is strong in you, and you will be of great service to the collective. I am sure we will find many good uses for you.What is this? Do I feel a tingle going down my leg. or is that my share of your contribution jingling in my pocket?

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:What is this? Do I feel a tingle going down my leg. or is that my share of your contribution jingling in my pocket?

Socialist greetings to you, Comrade Marshal!

It is indeed a share of my contribution, but as said before, it is merely the tinny jingle of aluminum covered cardboard discs, which is the coinage of the recently introduced TYS. I, however, gratefully share my Change in Hope of the Change of Happy Days are Here Again for the Common Good.

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Comrade, where did you come across these aluminum covered cardboard discs? I was not aware the Ministry of Plenty had released this currency already. Don't get me wrong comrade, I do appreciate your contribution as it will soon be worth more than the paper money the Party will be printing. I was just not aware that the previous imperialist coins were already being replaced with our new, progressive, recycled coins,

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:Comrade, where did you come across these aluminum covered cardboard discs? I was not aware the Ministry of Plenty had released this currency already. Don't get me wrong comrade, I do appreciate your contribution as it will soon be worth more than the paper money the Party will be printing. I was just not aware that the previous imperialist coins were already being replaced with our new, progressive, recycled coins,

Comrade Marshal!

His Obamaness procured them from the former vassal state whence I hail (well, from the side that was protected by the antifascist protection wall.) Contrary to His genetic makeup, in order to save valuta, he instituted this coinage, as it already had Karl Marx emblazoned on it. However, unfortunately, it does not carry Hammer and Sickle, but only Hammer and Compass.

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I can see a growing need for these coins, and I have started collecting them as I know first editions wlll only grow in value. The best thing about them is that I find they are quite easy for me to "mint."

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Genosse Pieck wrote:Greetings Tovarishtshi!

My humblest apologies, but the miliz put me on the wrong train. Instead of first heading to re-education camp to find my inner comrade, miliz sent me to Kreml, where I interrupted the Verkhovnyi Sovet. Comrade Red, however, was most understanding and showed me the correct way (at gunpoint.)

So here I am in re-education camp. I was given Genosse Pieck as my Name in honor of the first Great Leader of the DDR. I hail from the Imperial British Occupied Zone of Germany, but have long worked for the proletariate underground, digging tunnels to help downtrodden comrades escape to East.

After Great Leader Clintonov came to power, I waited four years for place on boxcar to USSA. I eventually settled in the Soviet Republic of Washington, Clark Oblast, Vancouvrye Kolchos. I am happy digging for beets, potatoes and rocks.

Greatings Comrade! I hail from the Soviet Republic of Washington as well, Olympia Collective. However there have been some minor name changes recently so as to reflect the glorious world in which we now live in.

Comrade, please save any rocks you dig and send them to Olympia. Our in house anarchist freaks brave revolutionaries like to throw them through the windows of evil capitalist institutions like banks, and Starbucks.

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Comrade Chernobyl wrote:
Border Collie Patrol wrote: ... Am trapped in Capitalist ridden province of northern Nevadagrad which not yet fully integrated with correct group thinkers. Must concentrate all efforts on escape to more progressive south for honor of partaking in glorious endeavor!


You could take a shortcut west to the PRK (Peoples Republik of Kalifornia) and bathe yourself in the progressiveness here.

If you can afford the offensive patriotic taxes, that is.

And to think that Comrade Schwarzenegger's time as Kommisar of the Peoples Republik of Kalifornia is almost up. Rumor has it that Comrade Feinstein wants to become our next Lommisar of this great Republik.

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Shovel in hand and ready serve the Motherland! Is that too nationalistic? Am I a Fascist? Have I betrayed the Comintern? Am I appropriately confused?

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You are properly confused comrade. Good work. Now start digging randomly. It does not matter where. All will get dug at some point.

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I shall dig and dig until I find my Inner Comrade. I will also rise up and protect thy fellow comrade from thy enemy.

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Shrimpster wrote:I shall dig and dig until I find my Inner Comrade. I will also rise up and protect thy fellow comrade from thy enemy.

A People's Rifle(TM) for Comrade Shrimpster!Image

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Thank you Comrade Colonel 7.26 for my People's Rifle. I will carry it with honor.

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Don't forget that it is suitable as a club.


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Colonel 7.62 wrote:Don't forget that it is suitable as a club.

Then I find it incumbent on me, on behalf of the Party of course, to demand an environmental use tax since it can be used for baby seal harvesting.

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Greetings, like-minded Komrades!!

I am here with my shovel ready to be re-edukated and get to work (or at least reap the benefits of the collective)!!

I am especially thrilled that our Glorious State-Run Media found the enthusiasm and excitement it was looking for on account of our Dear Leader's WORDS last night...All our Dear Leader needs to do is merely SAY something to uplift People's ever-sinking morale for the Greater Good(TM).

Thank you for permitting me to be part of the Kollektive!

Gratefully and ever Shovel-Ready,

Komrade Lenya Komsomelettes

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Welcome to the collective, Comradka Lenya!

Yes indeed, the Dear Leader's inspiring words, sweetly dripping as honey, went down the throats of the members of our Highest Council as well as the proletariate.

However, an apology was extracted from the lone dissenter among the councilpeople. Later, he was given a treatment Saint Che would be proud of. *tears wallowing*

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Yes, Welcome Comradka Lenya,

Your staying power for The Party™ has been noted.

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Staying power has it's advantage. Of course, the Party is far more powerful, for while staying is a finite concept -a comrade's "stay" has a discreet starting point and an even more discreet ending, the Party can go beyond this time period in that we can make it where a comrade never existed, was never even a figment of the imagination.

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I just wanted to stop in and say "Drastvutsnya, Comrades!" I just joined today!

Spasiva!

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Welcome, Yakov-Luvlas.

Remember that as a newly arrived member of the collective, it will be your duty to inform on your neighbors, betray your friends, be as mouthy as possible, and learn absolutely nothing.

But here is the foremost stricture: if reality tries to impose itself on you, <i>scream, shake, shout and deny</i>!

For we are reality.

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Greetings, and salutations:

After careful scrutiny of the forums on this Most Glorious Propaganda Tool of the Masses, I have decided to join the collective!!!!!!

I have already begun scrutinizing those around me for Thought Crime, and for the breaking of laws that haven't been passed yet.

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I denounce myself for the above post. After much scrutiny, I realize that joining the Collective wasn't my decision, as making a decision is a Thought crime.

What is my penance?

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No, no, no, following slavishly along in the trail of fellow comrades is always the right choice.

The Cube is where you get your Approved Kool-Ade.

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Mmmmmm, Kool-Ade.....Is my scrutiny correct, and is that beet sugar used for sweetening?

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Yes comrade that is beet sugar (and don't tell the kiddies but the kool-aide is spiked with vodka here at the cube) most glorious beet sugar indeed! Grab a shovel comrade and start digging for The Common Good(TM), it's for The Children(TM) you know...

Image ...KOOL-AID FOR ALL!!!

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It is Fairtrade Beet Sugar. And the, er, "secret ingredient" in the Kool-Ade was salvaged from the Bhopal, India, Union Carbide plant.

Served in Dixie cups with Jim Jones on one side and Bonnie Fwank on the other.

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I have it on good authority that Commissar Barnies Frank will not be available as he is pre-occupied spreading Glorious Socialism to the unwashed masses, and hunting scwewy wabbits.

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He is in speech therapy hoping that he can teach his upper lip to move.

Which, considering what we know about Bonnie Fwank, must be a disability.

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Sweet fancy Moses, this is SO inspiring. Thank you dear fellow compatriots.

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Comrades! My name is L.T. Zampolit and I am a thought criminal. I willingly expose my brain for cleansing by the glorious collective so that I may live up to my assignment in service to the Motherland™

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Zampolit, welcome to the Kollective. Here we submit ourselves to socialism, and wipe out our individual beings, which will let us become highly connected socialists whose every thought will be entertained, and entirely without merit, either of talent or money, we will be able to tell a large number of people what to do, because it's for their own good.

And we are unaccountable. The only way that we lose power is to lose a turf war with other little two-bit fascists socialist true believers.

So sharpen your knives, for every back is an opportunity. And may you find Grace and Favour with the People.

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"So sharpen your knives, for every back is an opportunity. And may you find Grace and Favour with the People.
"

Kamen!

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:I denounce my inner comrade for not being the dominant personality already!

Comrade Colonel 7.62, OMGore! I'm so humbled that someone you stated such truth as I, well into the fourth hour of digging, too, felt feel this way. I've seen my reflection the light distorting gleening forth from Commissar's jackboots and have, indeed, embraced pridelessness selflessness to the Party's Communitarianism. Via JuChe, Comrade!

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Is this where I trade my oar in for a shovel?

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Welcome, comrade MaTpoc! You came to the right place. You look familiar. Have we met before - perhaps, in Leningrad, during the Party-sponsored tour of the Hermitage?

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MaTpoc wrote:Is this where I trade my oar in for a shovel?
Oars make excellent shovels. They have the added bonus of being of made of biodegradable and renewable resources; while a metal shovel must be made by raping the earth of it's precious resources... OTOH there is something to be said for a metal shovel. I suggest you wait for a comrade to drop dead and exchange your oar for their shovel.

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I most gladly accept the shovel of the collective but shudder at the Obamaesqe connotation of the "shovel ready" Billion dollar earmark. Yes, the Regime has decided that those Borrowed Billions are for the "greater good". So if the shovel is for the greater good of the collective I submit for the glory of the Party.

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Welcome to the collective Komrade Kofky. Submission to the over reaching authority of the Party™ is good. In the gulag you will discover that hard work frees the soul and clears the mind. Soon bourgeois terms like billions and trillions will mean nothing. All your fears will melt away like your body fat.

Now take up your shovel and start digging.

(and never forget, we'll be watching you)

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To all new Komrades:

You are hereby notified that under Obamthanasia, your bodies belong to the People. This is of course to extend medical coverage to more people.

If one of you perchance has a kidney or liver which I might make better use of, since I am a very equal comrade, it will be your pleasure to donate it to me. It's not about the individual. I've had lots more experience in putting my foot on the neck of other people. That's why I'm a most equal comrade.

This is to encourage all of you New Comrades to be very careful and assiduous in the performance of your duties. So you will rise in rank.

Remember: the liver, or eye, you save may be your own.

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Perhaps that is the idea behind the preventive medicine aspect of ObamaCare: to inusre healthy organs are available for the Party to harvest.

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Ah, Betinov, that's a problem. Ideally Dr. Zeke, Rahm's brother, will teach us how optimally to calibrate, in the words of dear Dr. O, the amount of health care to the expected pension expenditures versus the expected voting trends. That is until voting has been voted on as being a waste of time because the science is settled.

We need grandmothers. They babysit when mama is toiling in the beet fields. And, let's be honest, they're better with their own kids than the state creche employees are with kids. But what happens when the grandkids start working on the assembly line? Do they need the grandmother?

No. Hell no. So we cut off all health benefits for grandma.

My worry is one that I shudder to share, even in the confines of the made progs. For nearly a century the Rolls Royce was the standard of luxury and excellence but mass production made other marques better.

I know that it's just sentimental rubbish to worry about the health and lives of proles, you know, the ones that you shoot when they're on the grounds of your dacha, but proles are a market.

What if by restricting good health care to made progs we don't have the economies of scale to develop good and cheap and effective treatments for illnesses?

Of course I mean for the Party. A bas to the proles.

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Zdravitzye fellow comrades! I have enjoyed the revolution for some time while engaging in capitalist oppression of the masses. I have been reformed through re-education with the Glorious Peoples Army as a lowly contraktor in Afghanistan and stand with my shovel so that I may toil for Rodina Amerikanya.

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I welcome your eager collectivist spirit, Rabotnik. If you continue to show such diligence, we shall make sure that you are given at least two small beets a day to eat and on May Day you may have a potato.

I completely hate my self for being so fortunate. I denounce my former life of selfishness, dignity, and individualism. Now I will strive to serve the collective, the workers of the world, father of the revolution Lenin, and the first revolutionary Satan. My blood runs as red as are fearless leader Barack Obama. BURN THE CONSTITUTION AND BRING ON THE WORKERS PARADISE!

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Excellent Comrade Freddy! We hope your train ride was pleasant and that the proles in boxcar 13 shared their beets with you, as you take the grand tour please don't forget to take your Progressive Guilt Quiz and check your party approved knowledge on the Communist Party Quote Quiz... but of course this is all expressed in the Welcome Message for New Thought Criminals...


Hail Obama!

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Yes, Freddy, welcome. Also please note that for new comrades we provide the services of Jiffy-Lobo, just in case you ever have impure thoughts.


 
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