"I'm looking forward to Purge Season. Ahhh... the smell of fear, the sweat on the foreheads, the glaring Klieg lights, the flowing tears, the begging pleas for mercy... I don't know about you, but it gives me goose bumps and a warm fuzzy feeling that my cold-blooded reptillian hypothalamus really enjoys, like a snake sunning itself on a warm, flat rock."

Hillary Clinton,
People's Commissar

Rosen trial: for above and beyond the call of duty

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Image Image Image Image Image
Order of Lenin (3rd Citation), "Pour le Merite," "Croix de Guerre," "The Fickle Finger of Fate," and the "Have No Fear, UnderDog is Here" medallions are hereby confered upon Dame Laika, the Space Dog.Whereupon May 13th, 2005 once again when called upon to save the Revolution, Laika the Space Dog received the correct Frequency from now breveted Kommander Kenneth and proceeded to jam every media outlet signal from reporting the David Rosen Trial to the world's news networks.

Laika not only jammed all signals emitting from the Los Angeles area of Southern (soon to be Mexican again) California but beamed herself down from our platform in outer space to the courtroom and taught the judge and prosecutor to roll over and play dead. Never before in our glorious struggle has such a daring feat been preformed with such accuracy and precision.

David Rosen and his defence will of course roll over too, because surely they have heard of Vincent Foster and James McDougal.

Witness by my hand,
Image Hillary Rodham Clinton

The 23rd day of May 2005

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Wow! Laika blocked it so well, that I never even knew about it untill now!

Comrade Betty,

Shhhhhhh......You still don't know about it. It didn't happen. It was all a dream...just a nice dream of you and Laika, you and Laika, you and Laika, close your eyes, that's it. Sweet dreams.

Nighty night.
Aunt Hillary

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Repeat after me: Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.
Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.
Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

Now with more feeling: Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

They have been... dealt with, Madame Protector.

Thank you Koz.

You believed I was innocent, didn't you?

Well, I'm asking...DIDN'T YOU?!!!

The NY Times did! Surprise! ... inton.html

The fix is in,

Kenneth the Kulak
Madame Your Highness,

I have an example of VRWC lies: ... 4801.shtml

How shall we have this purged and redacted from the public view?


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Dearest Hillary,

There was never any question but that Mr Rosen would come out smelling like a rose. Money talks. We can't let anything happen to you our dear leader Moma Warbucks! You're the best thing that's happened to good old-fashioned pork barrel defense spending since Scoop Jackson. Keep those contracts coming babe and you'll soon be Queen of the World.

Now, for all those Hillary fans out there (and who isn't, I ask you?) here's a picture I took of her just the other day when I was at her place. As you can see Hill' takes the TPC awards and your support very seriously. And ain't she a doll. I worship her almost as much as I worship the almighty dollar. It's true! She makes me feel like a teenager again. Wow! What a gal! Oof. Moma Warbucks ...

from the desk of $.$. (that's Cha-Ching to my friends) Halliburton

Isn't Botox wonderful? Oh, Cha-Ching, how I miss you dearly. You're the ONLY man who could satisfy me since Webb Hubble went to jail (I still haven't told Chelsea about her being Webb's love child with me). Cha-Ching, darling, my lover, my fool, how much longer can we keep our little secret from the world? My knees get weak and my panties sopping wet whenever I think of you...and then I cry, because I know we can never publically express our true feelings for each other without the whole world caving in on us. Damn my liberal base! To hell with your conservatives! They don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world of ours, but darling, we'll always have Paris!

All of my love,

The Comrade's Comrade
Incontrovertible evidence of the innocence of Rosen from the pages of the New York Times:

"Some supporters of the Clintons have contended that the charges against Mr. Rosen were politically motivated, a charge that was echoed on Friday by Mr. Rosen's mother, Roberta."

Fine work comrades! You have done a service to us all!

Comrade NASAty
Comrade Clinton,

There is no doubt that Bill Clinton is the luckiest man alive. I find your image in the above photo truly engaging. I have not been so aroused since first I saw a picture of this woman. Image She is, of course, the lovely <a href=" ... hkova.html" target="_blank">Valentina Tereshkova</a>, the first female comrade to enter space. I had my first sexual experience to a picture of her, and my second experience to a picture of you!

Sincerest egalitarian wishes and bread-line dreams

Yours forever,
Comrade Nasaty

I am not surprised Nasaty, but you may be! Valentina and I are one and the same! She is my alter-ego. When I am feeling really communistic I shape-shift into Valentina. (A little something Laika taught me from her encounters with alien beings while orbitting the earth) You'll notice the two of us have never been seen together, like Leon Redbone and Frank Zappa. As a matter of fact it was in 1963 during my flight that I met Laika. If you'd like, I can stop over some evening and become Valentina for you and if you're really aroused I do a great Janet Reno.

Hottie naughty Hillary

Comrade NASAty
Dearest Hillary,

Your reply was like a virtual hand brushing against my соленье. The only thing hotter would be if you would put on this <a href="" target="_blank">hot sexy outfit (the bow only please)</a> and tell me stories about the magic planet where every house has a full cupboard, two cars, one dog, one child, one lawyer, and no need for a lock on the door. Oh my love, how can I write when my tumescence drains needed vital brain juices?

Yours by mandate

Comrade Nasaty

Dear comrade, you forgot to include the link to the outfit that tickles your pickle. Post it ASAP and maybe I will untangle your tingle.

Impatiently yours,

Comrade NASAty
Dearest Hillary,

The omission of the link was a perverse act on my part, heightening the erotic tension and leaving the imagination to set the scene. Now that you are appropriately agitated, view the <a href="" target="_blank">dirty little outfit</a> I need you to wear.

Heatedly yours,

Comrade Nasaty

P.S. Pressing the "submit" key under these circumstances is an added sweet irony my strong-willed Comrade!

Hillary Foot Worshiper
Dear Sweet innocent Hillary,

I read some quotes of yours from the New York Times (our official "new source" of course). I was struck by their veracity. At an "official return of funds to the state" event (i.e. "fundraiser") you stated:

"I stay awake at night thinking about all the mistakes and the wrong direction and all the bad decisions being made in Washington. It's very hard to stop people who have <b>no shame</b> about what they're doing. It's very hard to stop people who have <b>never been acquainted with the truth</b>."

Oh so true dear Comrade! When you were in the Whitehouse, I felt a warm glow at night and slept like a baby! One could sleep knowing that an introspective, honest, shame-ridden man and woman were running the country! Not so now, of course! You also said:

"There has never been an administration, I don't think in our history, more intent on <b>consolidating and abusing power</b> to further their own agenda."

Well spoken! When you held the "People's Sceptre" in the White House, power was evenly distributed among the masses. Egalitarian decisions were made according to the "people's intellectual phlogistan" which you could feel through your intact skin! A selfless peoples' state reighned supreme. Your complete lack of interest in absolute power was your defining characteristic. You only did what the PEOPLE desired, even when the people were not able to discern that they needed it! How I loved you!

See me for lunch, Thursday, the 9th at 2PM, let's say Sardi's? I want to discuss the possibility about you becoming my press secretary. I'm tired of that Bloated Bagdad Bob. He's been on the payroll since April and I haven't gotten anything out of him let alone such a great piece from you.