Jihadists Against Bag Searches

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A new civil rights group is fighting a shameful practice: bag searches in the New York City subways that are infringing on the rights of suicide bombers to kill and maim hundreds of New Yorkers. The group that calls itself Jihadists Against Bag Searches distributed flyers today to straphangers (image, left), warning them of the erosion of civil liberties in America.

Dressed in oversized trench coats and carrying heavy backpacks, the group members asked the New Yorkers a simple yet disarming question: "Is this the country you really want to live in, if it profiles a minority that has blown up cars, buildings, buses, trains, and airplanes in the past?"

"They're right," a concerned young lawyer told our correspondent." With so many people entering the subway, how can we be sure that the searches are absolutely random? There's a big chance it's all a cover-up for profiling minorities. If the police succeeds in preventing them from blowing me up on the train, it will be the end of my civil liberties. I better send another big check to ACLU - that is, if I don't wind up with both of my arms torn off in a blast."

"We are not yet a Muslim nation, so aggressive police behavior won't yield world sympathy," said a female middle-aged financial analyst as she nervously packed her bag after being searched." As a Western power that places reason above emotions, we need to suffer more in order to have the world like us again - and for that I am willing to meet a horrible end with a dozen rusty bolts sticking out of my forehead."

Jihadists Against Bag Searches were accompanied by ACLU observers to ensure that they are not harassed by the police or right-wing extremists. One such accident was recorded at a subway stop next to the former World Trade Center site, in which a rambling right-winger allegedly whispered, "Islam-o-fascists had better not act up too much, or else our Hollywood will come out with more crappy movies about the menace of neo-Nazis, Christian Crusaders and the Mossad." The man has been arrested and faces charges of hate speech, harassment, and an attempt to provoke an international conflict. ACLU dispatched their best lawyers to this case and will monitor it to make sure that the perpetrator receives maximum punishment possible under the circumstances.

(Special thanks to GS, PK, Julia Gorin, and other eyes and ears in our community).

Ricko Radical
Bush is way overboard now. The felon that can't be caught! I can hardly wait for something really big to blow up, like his head! It is so fat now it is a wonder it is still between his shoulders. Keep up the resistence, revolt, revolution now!

WJC playing on the sax
Hell, you can search my bag.
Anybody seen Hill?
Janet would dig that! Yessir!
Man, that turns me on when I get to see two women search each others.....
Damn, it's almost like you can smell her before she gets here.
Gotta plane to catch.

I am in total agreement with the article, especially because our ACLU (American Communist Liberation Union) is so brilliantly aligning itself with the Muslim agitators. Sure, they kicked our fat red asses out of Afghanistan, but that was just a brilliant socialist ploy to win sympathy for our cause and to train the Mujahedin how to kick capitalist tail. In any case, this campaign against "illegal searches and seizures" should make wide-scale destabilization of the Amerikan regime very easy.

Good work, American Leninists Revolutionaries!!!

Liberals silent on police profiling of Mafia Suspects, Serial Killers, White Collar Criminals, etc...

Just like the revolution demands! Nice work, Comrades!



Donna Lieberman, NY ACLU
This is nothing compared to the practice of placing tall buildings in the way of innocent hijackers.

We interrupt this search
To bring you some more political correctness:

Towel Heads ist verboten!

Recently I received a warning about the use of the above politically incorrect term. Please note: we all need to be more sensitive in our choice of words. I have been informed that the Islamic terrorists who hate our guts, our religion, our freedom and our way of life in general and want to kill all of us for the greater glory of Allah -do not like to be called "Towel Heads". This is because the item they wear on their heads is not a towel but actually a small, folded sheet. Therefore, from this point forward you should only refer to them as "Little Sheet Heads." Thank you for your support and compliance on this delicate matter.

Capitalist Subversive
While the ACLU is often wrong, they aren't always wrong.

The fourth amendment is quite clear:
4th Amendment wrote:The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

What constitutes an "unreasonable" search or siezure is made apparent by the explicit statement of conditions under which a reasonable search or siezure may take place. The subways are public, which means that what is done with them is limited by the Constitution. If they were privately owned, it would be a different story, as owners may set any conditions they wish upon the use of their property. There's also the Sharpton factor to consider. We'll have random searches of 90 year old Asian women, but it's doubtful any terrorists will be inconvenienced, lest the NYPD be accused of "racial profiling".

The real way to make the subways - and for that matter, the whole city - safe is to get rid of the idiotic gun bans and cut back on visible police presence, thereby forcing NYers to arm themselves and actually pay attention to their surroundings instead of relying on the governanny to keep them safe. Random searches provide nothing but a false sense of security, and in fact weaken security by doing so, just as do gun bans and a massive (i.e. larger than the next two largest combined) police force. The NYPD can't be everywhere at once, and the job of the police force, as affirmed by the courts (I forget the name of the case), is to protect the government, not the people; they are under no obligation to keep us safe, and so it is, as it has always been, the job of each individual to protect him/herself.

Oh, wait a minute, I forgot you're trying to start a Communist revolution. In that case, continue with the gun grabbing and the random searches of 90 year old Asian women; I'll just avoid mass transit.

Don't Tread On Me,

Comrade Vladstaleen
"CapitalistSubversive" lap dog bourgeois gun toting dominionist - You are to be rounded up -along with your vipers - and sent to gulag number 18327 for the crime of attempting to spread seditious propaganda about so-called rights of free people! Only the State can set you free and protect you. Gather your 100 kilos of personal items and one sack of onions. And turn over your instruments of self-defense immediately! Board the truck outside your flat -in 12 hours!

Democratic Undergrounder
We should be searching the bags of white males in their 40's who would be clearly Republican voters. Who knows what they may carry in their bags! Perhaps a business plan? Perhaps a list of CORPORATE DONORS!! Or maybe even a detailed out line of PROFITS! We need to stop capitalism and the white male. I unfortunately was born as a white male and have to live in shame every day as my skin is the same pigment as the racist piggy McShrubBushNazihalliburtonwarmongerCo! I often think of taking my own life just so I no longer have to live in shame of my evil whiteness but then I remember without me there will be one less person at a Live 8 concert, one less person holding up a sign, one less person driving a Prius, one less progressive thinker changing the world!

The "plaintiff" also happens to be involved with the ACLU and also serves as Executive Director of the New Jersey Immigration Policy Network. So he's not just some innocent victim of profiling, as he would have you believe, but is actually involved closely with the ACLU's political agenda.

Correction, he's involved with the NYCLU.

User avatar
When I carry a thermo-nuclear warhead in my bag on a crowed public subway train, I like to know that I can detonate it whenever I like without anyone preventing me.

Bono's Brain
Seconds 2005

It takes a second to say goodbye,
Say goodbye.
It takes a second to say goodbye,
Say goodbye, say bye bye where are you
going to now?

Fall, rise and . . . Fall, rise and . .
Lightning flashes across the sky,
From east to west you do or die.
Like a thief in the night,
You see the world by candlelight.

Fall, rise and . . . Fall, rise and . .
In an apartment on Times Square,
You can assemble them anywhere.
Held to ransom, hell to pay,
A revolution everyday.
Baghdad, Madrid, London, New York, who's next in line?
It's wahabbis, It's madrassas who
pull the crimes.

Say goodbye, say goodbye.
It takes a second to say goodbye,
Push the button and pull the plug,
say goodbye.

Fall, rise and . . . Fall, rise and . .
They're doing the atomic bomb,
Do they know where the dance
comes from?
Yes they're doing the atomic bomb,
They want you to sing along.
Say goodbye, say goodbye.

C'mon Paul Hewson......change the lyrics, the changing times demand it!

Polipsych Major
Dude - when did Noam Chomsky start wearing the little sheet?
And like what's he doin' with the gun?
You mean he's not really a pacifist? Duuude.

User avatar
Bag serches against jihadist are nothing more than racial and religious profiling. Give me a nuke, and give me death!