Before a comrade wishes to show off his enlightened tolerance to his fellows of a more equal status, He must first be prepared to engage his "prog mode up" switch at a moments notice.

So I have elected to run the following exercise to accelerate my journey to the coveted "more equal" circle.

alright....Testing, testing....Eurasia, ready, aim, fire....

[off]
Take me out to the
[on]
Barbaric Capitalist display of Primitive athletic darwinism
[off]
take me out to the
[on]
Toiling proletarian masses. Apportion me my rations of
[off]
peanuts and cracker jacks. I do not care if we
[on]
in the Glorious World of Next Tuesday
[off]
get back. so it's root, root, root for
[on]
THE MOTHERLAND!
[off]
if they don't win it's
[on]
BUSH AND CAPITALISM'S FAULT!
[off]
For its ONE TWO THREE STRIKES YER
[on]
A nonperson
[off]
in the old ball game!
[On]
FORWARD!

As usual, when one tries to think, they often think wrong. While your proletarian zeal has been noted, you are advised to consult the Editor for the Rich to get exclusive party access to certain communally held clip art items to enhance your prog on and prog off: Behold!

If he is wise, he will precede all non-authorized thoughts with one of the following:

or my personal favorite:

Please be careful with the People's Awards Clip Art, as Pinkie has been known to get quite adamant about unauthorized use of the "Beet of the Week."


Capice?

Understood (And understand, I understand perfectly that I must only understand what is to be understood.) I shall employ graphic clarification of my intentions(which obviously must not be kept secret by individuals of less than equal standing), once my proletarian brain has left its jar (so to speak, It is not REALLY in one) enough to be aware of how to apply our cutting edge party built and approved Technivicety thingies. mayhaps I shall seek council with Mr. Gore...Did he not invent these sort of things?

Can. I get a
<off>
Hot dog, a beer and a
<on>
Handful of beet peelings and perhaps a crust of bread for the children?

Tovarichi, you can get a hot dog and beer after you draw a line in the sand. Our leader draws a line in the sand at every glassful.

Ok. NOW I think it is figured out... In complete honesty, Methinks I will not try this stunt again. Imagine A cone for every alternating sentence of, Oh,say...Poe's "the Raven". it would wear the very Internet of this region into shambles. <PROG ON!> Comarissa Pinkies Shovel Shall fall upon the eye of this faithful servant of the people for abusing BOTW when we have achieved the Glorious world of ne...Umm..I meant to say NEVER!

(But feel free to go ahead for any other reason Pinkie, The Eye can recover)
which makes me wonder....How has Comrade Betinov ever survived a whack from that thing? Was his glass made in the USSA. or something?

Oh dear.

I have no idea what I missed, arriving late to the

[on]

Barbaric Capitalist display of Primitive athletic darwinism

[off]

As I did, but what I see now appears to be

*squints*
*tilts head to left*

fully equal, Comrade Sheriff!

As for Brain in Jar, that "fluid" you see him floating in is pure 180 proof beet vodka, direct from the Motherland. He may claim otherwise, but I don't think he actually feels Pinkie's WHACKS.

Thought Sheriff wrote:Understood (And understand, I understand perfectly that I must only understand what is to be understood.) I shall employ graphic clarification of my intentions(which obviously must not be kept secret by individuals of less than equal standing), once my proletarian brain has left its jar (so to speak, It is not REALLY in one) enough to be aware of how to apply our cutting edge party built and approved Technivicety thingies. mayhaps I shall seek council with Mr. Gore...Did he not invent these sort of things?

Welcome newest comrade,

I offer a few helpful hints which may or may not be useful:

It is well known that a Prog rejects all conventional historical reality, but goes that extra mile to invent his/her/its own. This is often called Current Truth™ and is most useful in escaping or avoiding conflicting thoughts. The Current Truth™ can be found in the links above. Neglect it at your peril.

Keep clear of certain "not-to-be-named comrades." If possible, do not antagonize them or communicate with them in any way. You will know them when you meet them. I am not permitted to say more on the subject at this time.

Keep your shovel at hand continuously - sleep with it. Set a place for it at your dinner table. If you notice someone - anyone - staring in your direction begin using it immediately! (this applies both outside or inside your hovel!)

Be kind to all animals.

Since the Prog On/Prog Off clip art sometimes misfires and for some reason vanishes without cause, I offer you my personal copy of each. (a small donation would be appreciated, and may result in assistance in future conflicts with the "not-to-be-named comrades" referred to above)



Finally, if you notice this alert signal in any posts at any time, I suggest you heed its warning. Forewarned is forearmed. Yes?


That is all....for the moment.

Comrade Trashmouth, I felt as if I were at a sporting event, nothing so competitive as a beet-patch weeding, but a sporting event nonetheless.

You are hereby DENOUNCED for openly discussing beer and foodstuffs openly (and violating the sanctuary of a statement made under <prog off> as used on cheap-assed cell phone and blaming me...).

Your charges are more serious than any flimsy evidence you may dredge up, so sign your confessions and pack warm...

If that is all for the moment, then that is all, Comrade craptek. You know better than Eye Do that Time is an Illusion, subject to the Perception of they that experience it, as well as to the opinions of the majority. I would seek a consultation with The Commissar of time before saying more.
Then again, I can say more, let time pass, and erase the evidence of that statement...and it will cease to exist.

The National Security Association is my best chance at becoming more equal. Who but they would have need of a Big Red Eye?

Comrade, the NSA IS the big eye.

(Welkome to the collective)

Another question...When is it acceptable to call fellow servants of the proles and champions of the revolution, we the merry band of Vodka drinking, Fuzzy Capped Prog heroes, by the title of "comrade", and when should I use "tovarisch", or "brother?" Finally...Who may I call a Racist, Bigoted, Fascist,Teabilly capitalist? I am fully prepared to denounce them, If it would bring the revolution closer to Utopia!

If the NSA is the Big eye, then I obviously am the NSA, or a cheap capitalist knockoff that is conspiring to upset the momentum of our progress. Should I denounce myself, wrap my eye around my shovel, and follow black Maria to the Gulag( that's laogai, for my comrades in the Peoples Republic.)? What does the PARTY say that I am?

My most humble gratitude to all the Leaders and Servants of the people, for the most warm welcome to our Glorious Kollecktive. I shall pledge My Star and Eye to the service of our party, and to advancement of the cause of Freedom to do Precisely what we are all told. FORRRRWARRRD!

Comrade is always acceptable, as is the title of tovarich or its variations. Rethuglikkans get the name calling.

While you are A big eye, you are not THE big eye. You are a new comrade, mind your beets, fear nothing, and respect the womyn-folk and your elders...

And don't worry about Pinkie, she's just a big soft snuggly teddy bear and nothing to worry about. Her golden shovel of justice and retribution has a vicious follow-through and is worthy of caution and safe distance on the other hand. Keep her lubricated with vodka, and you'll have no problems.

Tovarich Tovarichi,

Why do I think I can see a sly grin on your avatar when you tell new comrades of Pinkie's inherently gentle nature?

Yes

Ivan Betinov wrote:As usual, when one tries to think, they often think wrong. While your proletarian zeal has been noted, you are advised to consult the Editor for the Rich to get exclusive party access to certain communally held clip art items to enhance your prog on and prog off..

Now, Tovarich Brain, remember that you too were once a new rekruit. Anyway, regardless of the format I find Comrade Thought Sherriff's song very risable. May I suggest, Comrade, that you post it in the People's Karaoke section so that we can all sing along at the next show trial?

It does have a catchy beat and is easy to dance to, I give it an 85...

And don't worry about Pinkie, she's just a big soft snuggly teddy bear and
nothing to worry about. Her golden shovel of justice and retribution has a
vicious follow-through and is worthy of caution and safe distance on the other
hand. Keep her lubricated with vodka, and you'll have no problems.

He's right. Pinkie really is quite friendly. In fact, she loves it when you walk up, slap her on the bottom, and tell you've got something to show her out behind the tractor shed. No, really, give it a try...you'll be dizzy with success in no time.

[quote="Tovarichi"]

While you are A big eye, you are not THE big eye. You are a new comrade, mind your beets, fear nothing, and respect the womyn-folk and your elders...

quote]
We are all members of a unified Kollecktive, comrade. We are all THE EYE, and THE EAR, and THE TONGUE, or SPLEEN, or whatever the party wishes, of the Party. Good Members of the Kollekitve should be indistinguishable from any other Kollektive organ. Our dear leader is less like Zeus, and more like Brahman.

Thought Sheriff wrote:...Our dear leader is less like Zeus, and more like Brahman.

Good Lenin, somebody check to see if new guy got struck by lightning after posting such blasphemy!

Been here less than a week, and already up the creek without a paddle. If he shows up again from gulag he will have learned a thing or two.

Brahman ? Are you saying Dear Leader is more like a pair of work boots ?

Better watch yourself there, Thought Sheriff. Somebody might data mine this someday.

Congratulations Sheriff and welkome to the kolective. Once you've learned to denounce yourself, you can get in touch with your inner komrade.

Thought Sheriff wrote:If the NSA is the Big eye, then I obviously am the NSA

Comrade.

DO NOT fall into the capitalist fallacy that if a=b and b=c then a=c.

Yes, this may SOMETIMES be correct, but we must always be aware of the Current Truth™, which will vary depending upon Party needs.

Naturally Our dear leader is whatever ancient deity he wishes. I have yet to quell the idea In my head (a dangerous notion, in and of itself) that The Current Truth must always match the party doctrine of the past. Having erroneously imagined that A simultaneously existing and nonexistent continuum comprised of the collective forces of nature worshipped in an eastern nation would have served as a better exemplification of our own infinitely more glorious Dear Leader than a White European worshipped by a contemporary imperialist superpower, I will break for Siberia without delay, for treatment.

Save yourself a trip, visit your neighbouring Jiffy-Lobo, tell them at the counter you want the new comrade's "Mental Krystalnacht Purge". Fix you right up.

Be sure to get your card punched. I'm only three punches away from getting an imitation caviar spoon in authentic Styrofoam!

Thank you for the Advice Comrades! where would I be without you! Other than cracking the ice off my shovel in Siberia somewhere, obviously.

Oh Good Lenin!

Yet another chowderhead that didn't get the message about orientation classes all because of those nefarious reichwinggers and the cursed Government shutdown!!!!

THOUGHT SHERIFF, listen up and listen good. We all are equal here, but some are more equal then others. I happen to be more equal to you only because of my years of never thinking of myself and doing everything 'for the children' ™. I would normally DENOUNCE you and be done with it but it is obvious with shutdown, that you have an excuse as to why you didn't take your orientation class and your guilt quiz. But now with our glorious victory over those cursed tea partiers and BIG GOV back in biz making life so much better for the masses like our new spiffy Obamacare website.....NO MORE EXCUSES.....To thrive and prosper here you must truly get in touch with your inner comrade and you must take your guilt quiz and report the results to your local commissar.

Review the following links:

https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-tool ... t2928.html

https://thepeoplescube.com/GuiltQuiz/index.php

Once completed you will then be able to go forth and progify here on The Cube. Also shovel inspection is always on Monday's at 2 P.M in the courtyard DO NOT BE LATE.

Done, Comrade SW. who is my local Commissar, that I may reveal to him every misdemeanor I have ever committed?

(Dude, they're ALL your local commisar...just don't make eye contact...)

Thought Sheriff wrote:Naturally Our dear leader is whatever ancient deity he wishes. I have yet to quell the idea In my head (a dangerous notion, in and of itself) that The Current Truth must always match the party doctrine of the past. Having erroneously imagined that A simultaneously existing and nonexistent continuum comprised of the collective forces of nature worshipped in an eastern nation would have served as a better exemplification of our own infinitely more glorious Dear Leader than a White European worshipped by a contemporary imperialist superpower, I will break for Siberia without delay, for treatment.

Comrade,

“Deity is part of the meaninglessness of art,” says Sontag; however, according to la Tournier, it is not so much class that is part of the meaninglessness of art, but rather the paradigm, and hence the dialectic, of class. The dialectic paradigm of expression states that the State is capable of significance, given that Marx's analysis of postsemanticist nihilism is valid. Therefore, the main theme of Prinn's essay on postcapitalist narrative is the paradigm, and some would say the rubicon, of constructivist sexual identity.

Marx must be read with an open mind - then the mind closed - forever. Please consider this in future comments.

Captain Craptek wrote:

Thought Sheriff wrote:Naturally Our dear leader is whatever ancient deity he wishes. I have yet to quell the idea In my head (a dangerous notion, in and of itself) that The Current Truth must always match the party doctrine of the past. Having erroneously imagined that A simultaneously existing and nonexistent continuum comprised of the collective forces of nature worshipped in an eastern nation would have served as a better exemplification of our own infinitely more glorious Dear Leader than a White European worshipped by a contemporary imperialist superpower, I will break for Siberia without delay, for treatment.

Comrade,

“Deity is part of the meaninglessness of art,” says Sontag; however, according to la Tournier, it is not so much class that is part of the meaninglessness of art, but rather the paradigm, and hence the dialectic, of class. The dialectic paradigm of expression states that the State is capable of significance, given that Marx's analysis of postsemanticist nihilism is valid. Therefore, the main theme of Prinn's essay on postcapitalist narrative is the paradigm, and some would say the rubicon, of constructivist sexual identity.

Marx must be read with an open mind - then the mind closed - forever. Please consider this in future comments.

Oh. Ok.

Tovarichi wrote:(Dude, they're ALL your local commisar...just don't make eye contact...)

да товарищ tovarichi I just wanted to be sure that my neighbor Bill is not secretly more equal than I am. Can you Guess whose Christmas Holiday present I forgot to give last year?

Tovarichi wrote:Save yourself a trip, visit your neighbouring Jiffy-Lobo, tell them at the counter you want the new comrade's "Mental Krystalnacht Purge". Fix you right up.

Exactly.

It's not for nothing that Current Truth™ has the word "current" in it, and your local Jiffy-Lobo knows all of the best ways to apply that current for your (eventual) benefit.

I recommend stopping in at your very earliest possible inconvenience.

By the way, Comrade - have you received your Obamacard™ in the mail yet?

Thought Sheriff wrote:Done, Comrade SW. who is my local Commissar, that I may reveal to him every misdemeanor I have ever committed?

It seems that you fall under the district that is under the perusal of our beloved Marshal Pupovich. A most beloved Commissar who works tirelessly for the proles and never takes time off for himself. Do understand that the good Marshall receives thousands of reports and that he only takes short naps during all his tireless efforts, but it still may take awhile for him to get back to you.


Marshall Pupovich on one of his rare short nap breaks

Thought Sheriff wrote:

Captain Craptek wrote:

Thought Sheriff wrote:Naturally Our dear leader is whatever ancient deity he wishes. I have yet to quell the idea In my head (a dangerous notion, in and of itself) that The Current Truth must always match the party doctrine of the past. Having erroneously imagined that A simultaneously existing and nonexistent continuum comprised of the collective forces of nature worshipped in an eastern nation would have served as a better exemplification of our own infinitely more glorious Dear Leader than a White European worshipped by a contemporary imperialist superpower, I will break for Siberia without delay, for treatment.

Comrade,

“Deity is part of the meaninglessness of art,” says Sontag; however, according to la Tournier, it is not so much class that is part of the meaninglessness of art, but rather the paradigm, and hence the dialectic, of class. The dialectic paradigm of expression states that the State is capable of significance, given that Marx's analysis of postsemanticist nihilism is valid. Therefore, the main theme of Prinn's essay on postcapitalist narrative is the paradigm, and some would say the rubicon, of constructivist sexual identity.

Marx must be read with an open mind - then the mind closed - forever. Please consider this in future comments.

Oh. Ok.

Bravo, Comrade Sheriff! Your response shows that you are already reading with pure Marxist mind, which assents in joy without interrupting swift flow of words by means of useless brain cell activity. Does that not feel good?

Thought Sheriff wrote:

Captain Craptek wrote:

Thought Sheriff wrote:Naturally Our dear leader is whatever ancient deity he wishes. I have yet to quell the idea In my head (a dangerous notion, in and of itself) that The Current Truth must always match the party doctrine of the past. Having erroneously imagined that A simultaneously existing and nonexistent continuum comprised of the collective forces of nature worshipped in an eastern nation would have served as a better exemplification of our own infinitely more glorious Dear Leader than a White European worshipped by a contemporary imperialist superpower, I will break for Siberia without delay, for treatment.

Comrade,

“Deity is part of the meaninglessness of art,” says Sontag; however, according to la Tournier, it is not so much class that is part of the meaninglessness of art, but rather the paradigm, and hence the dialectic, of class. The dialectic paradigm of expression states that the State is capable of significance, given that Marx's analysis of postsemanticist nihilism is valid. Therefore, the main theme of Prinn's essay on postcapitalist narrative is the paradigm, and some would say the rubicon, of constructivist sexual identity.

Marx must be read with an open mind - then the mind closed - forever. Please consider this in future comments.

Oh. Ok.

Yet again, I miss Comrade Father Prog Theocritus - he could have provided a deeper, more thorough explanation.