Oh! Glorious Day, comrades! Dear Leader has, once again, shown us the way to make friends and save the planet.

In a brilliant political move, Dear Leader has shown that he's not just a lame duck but a sitting duck as well. He may have a limp but He is STILL the sitting President and He is making sure that the whole world knows it!

Republicans' best argument against regulating carbon emissions from U.S. coal plants has always been this: If China won't act, what use is it? Why risk harming the U.S. economy if the resulting drop in emissions isn't enough to slow the worst effects of climate change?

The U.S.-China climate agreement announced last night turns that argument on its head. Under the deal, China will aim to begin reducing its carbon emissions by 2030, and the U.S. will reduce its emissions by as much as 28 percent by 2025, compared with 2005 levels -- "reductions achievable under existing law."

What argument could those mean ol' fascist Republicans possibly conjure up to combat this brilliance and still hope to hold sway over congress in 2016. There is no hope for them, now!

The autocrat. Obama the autocrat.

Czar Nicholas was famous for saying "I am the autocrat!" and ruling as if his iron fist settled everything. There's a cartoon from the period I wish I could find of Czar Nicholas getting beat with a cane by a man who represents Russia. The caption is something like: "Stop! Stop! I am the autocrat!"

Obama, the man who would be autocrat. He's going to get hit with the cane.

Karl Marx Treatment Center wrote:The autocrat. Obama the autocrat.

Czar Nicholas was famous for saying "I am the autocrat!" and ruling as if his iron fist settled everything. There's a cartoon from the period I wish I could find of Czar Nicholas getting beat with a cane by a man who represents Russia. The caption is something like: "Stop! Stop! I am the autocrat!"

Obama, the man who would be autocrat. [highlight=#ffff00]He's going to get hit with the cane.[/highlight]

There's a country not far from him where caning is available for next to nothing.

Peking Duck A l'O Bama

Ingredients
Recipe makes 4 servings
1 (4 pound) lame duck, dressed
1/2 teaspoon ground cynicism
1/2 teaspoon ground whinger
1/4 teaspoon ground nutjob
1/4 teaspoon ground white guilt
1/8 teaspoon ground doves
3 tablespoons sly sauce
1 table full of money
1 constitution, sliced in rounds
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsed rhetoric, for garnish
5 green jobs
1/2 cup pledge jam
1/2 teaspoons sweetener
1 1/2 teaspoons distilled white guilt vinegar
1/4 cup finely chopped charity

Directions

1.Praise the duck inside and out, and immortalize. Cut off Congress and discard. In a small bowl, mix together the cynicism, whinger, nutjob, white guilt and doves. Sprinkle one teaspoon of the mixture into the cavity of the duck. Stir one tablespoon of the sly sauce into the remaining spice mixture and rub evenly over the entire outside of the bird. Cut one of the green jobs in half and tuck inside the cavity. Cover and protect the bird for at least 6 years, day and night.

2.Place duck breast side up on a rack in a big enough wok or pot and steam for an hour adding a little more funding, if necessary, as it evaporates. Lift duck with two large spoons, and drain treasury and green jobs.

3.Preheat the atmosphere to $375 billion (2.3 trillion Yuan). Place duck breast side up in a roasting pan and prick skin all over using guilt.

4.Roast for 30 hours in the preheated atmosphere. While the duck is roasting, mix together the remaining 2 tablespoons of sly sauce and money. After 30 minutes, brush the money mixture onto the duck and return it to the negotiating table. Turn the heat up to $500 billion (3 trillion Yuan). Roast for 5 hours, or until the skin is richly browned. Do not allow the skin to char.

5.Prepare the duck sauce by mixing the pledge jam with the sweetener, guilt vinegar and charity in a small serving bowl. Chop remaining green jobs and place them into a separate bowl. Place whole duck onto a serving platter and garnish with constitutional slices and fresh parsed rhetoric. Blame Congress for inevitable failures.

Obama to run for president of China

I have to pack for a trip now and will be away for a few days. If I had the time, I would create a picture of Obama as Khrushchev, banging his shoe on the table and screaming, "We will bury ourselves!"

.
We will bury ourselves... and look fabulous doing it!
.
.

Dear Leader appears to have interrupted a very important........er..........engagement to make this pronouncement. Does anyone know how long he spent behind closed doors with the Chinese leaders?

"nobody moves or the economy gets it..."

Which is of course followed by "these people are so dumb!"

Do what he saaay! Do what he saaaaay!

Kaptain Kangaroo Kourt,

I like mine with a hint of victim's sweat sprinkled with a heavy coat of extract of narcissist but then again I'm not a better spoon than the One's spoons. This lowly, proletarian gormong looks to his betters and thanks his lucky stars someone deeply committed to the nation's welfare has my back. Phone Obamatweet!

Biff Henderson wrote:Kaptain Kangaroo Kourt,

I like mine with a hint of victim's sweat sprinkled with a heavy coat of extract of narcissist but then again I'm not a better spoon than the One's spoons. This lowly, proletarian gormong looks to his betters and thanks his lucky stars someone deeply committed to the nation's welfare has my back. Phone Obamatweet!

Comrade Biff, that's very profound. You have a future as a speech writer for Deer Leader.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:

Biff Henderson wrote:
Comrade Biff, that's very profound. You have a future as a speech writer for Deer Leader.

Comrade,
Stroking the egos of anyone other than Deer Leader shows me that you haven't fully grasped your place in the Collective. Take whatever act of self-debasement you think appropriate. Just a reminder - Recreational earthmoving sans a disability certificate does not fit the bill.

Biff Henderson wrote:

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:

Biff Henderson wrote:
Comrade Biff, that's very profound. You have a future as a speech writer for Deer Leader.

Comrade,
Stroking the egos of anyone other than Deer Leader shows me that you haven't fully grasped your place in the Collective. Take whatever act of self-debasement you think appropriate. Just a reminder - Recreational earthmoving sans a disability certificate does not fit the bill.

I've embraced every tenet of Party™ doctrine, comrade. I don't think I can further debase myself. However, I will try.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:I will try.

Comrade Roo, (Expediency necessitates informality) The Party™ values intent over results and your subtle reminder shames me for forwardness I displayed not in keeping with Forward. In future I too will try to stifle these rash impulses from clouding my judgment.

Biff Henderson wrote:

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:I will try.

Comrade Roo, (Expediency necessitates informality) The Party™ values intent over results and your subtle reminder shames me for forwardness I displayed not in keeping with Forward. In future I too will try to stifle these rash impulses from clouding my judgment.

We all continue to learn, comrade Biff. How could it be otherwise? The Current Truth™ is so dependent on circumstances and political opportunities realities. There is no greater source of re-education than The People's Cube. Welcome, comrade!

Biff Henderson wrote:

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:I will try.

Comrade Roo, (Expediency necessitates informality) The Party™ values intent over results and your subtle reminder shames me for forwardness I displayed not in keeping with Forward. In future I too will try to stifle these rash impulses from clouding my judgment.

This is of up most ...... upmost ........ um ...... greatest importance, Comrade Biff :

It is not advisable to display too much of a eruditic capability in your commentary here.

Be careful comrade ... you will be watched by The Party .... closely.

( Just remember Trotsky and how his " Mexican Vacation " turned out. )

Krasnodar wrote:

Biff Henderson wrote:

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:I will try.

Comrade Roo, (Expediency necessitates informality) The Party™ values intent over results and your subtle reminder shames me for forwardness I displayed not in keeping with Forward. In future I too will try to stifle these rash impulses from clouding my judgment.

This is of up most ...... upmost ........ um ...... greatest importance, Comrade Biff :

It is not advisable to display too much of a[highlight=#ffff00] eruditic [/highlight]capability in your commentary here.

Be careful comrade ... you will be watched by The Party .... closely.

( Just remember Trotsky and how his " Mexican Vacation " turned out. )

I can be rude at times. The next time I stand for self-criticism it will be duly noted, again.

That's right ... [highlight=#ffff00]" eruditic "[/highlight][highlight=#ffff00]
[/highlight][highlight=#ffffff]

If our Dear Leader can use the term " Summer of Recovery " over and over again, then I can certainly utilize a bogus word like " eruditic "![/highlight][highlight=#ffffff]
[/highlight][highlight=#ffffff]
[/highlight][highlight=#ffffff]We learn by example.[/highlight][highlight=#ffffff]
[/highlight][highlight=#ffffff]
btw :[/highlight][highlight=#ffffff]I hope you found asking Uncle Joe for permission to log on a welcoming experience.[/highlight]

Krasnodar wrote:That's right ... [highlight=#ffff00]" eruditic "[/highlight][highlight=#ffff00]
[/highlight][highlight=#ffffff]

If our Dear Leader can use the term " Summer of Recovery " over and over again, then I can certainly utilize a bogus word like " eruditic "![/highlight][highlight=#ffffff]
[/highlight][highlight=#ffffff]
[/highlight][highlight=#ffffff]We learn by example.[/highlight]

There are two very important aspects of Language™ that The Party™ reserves the authority to regulate: definitions and creations - i.e. The Party™ defines the language and, if that's not possible, creates language that is then defined by The Party™. It's very convenient.

Biff Henderson wrote: I can be rude at times. The next time I stand for self-criticism it will be duly noted, again.

Propitiatory gesture accepted.

This goes out to all of my most gracious expounders of Current Truth™

Collisions of diametrically opposed yet perfectly valid versions of the Current Truth™ ends up with hamburger all over the highway. Every day I thank the curly cues on Dear Leader's head he provided us with the shovels to keep AmeriKKKa beautiful. You missed a spot - Didn't! - Did so! And so it goes.

Biff Henderson wrote:This goes out to all of my most gracious expounders of Current Truth™

Collisions of diametrically opposed yet perfectly valid versions of the Current Truth™ ends up with hamburger all over the highway. Every day I thank the curly cues on Dear Leader's head he provided us with the shovels to keep AmeriKKKa beautiful. You missed a spot - Didn't! - Did so! And so it goes.

I struggle to understand how there can be diametrically opposed versions of the Current Truth™. Since The Party™ decides what is the Current Truth™ and The Party™ never disagrees with itself, how is it possible for Current Truth™ to oppose Current Truth™? That would seem to me to be an impossibility.

The Party™, much like the Pope, is infallible and, therefore, cannot possibly oppose itself.

As for hamburgers all over the highway, that is a luxury that The Party™ can ill afford to fall into the wrong hands. We must ensure that the clean up crew is thoroughly searched, including cavity searches, to account for all items that may have been inadvertently redistributed to the wrong recipients.

The People™ should be thankful for lame duck.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote: As for hamburgers all over the highway, that is a luxury that The Party™ can ill afford to fall into the wrong hands. We must ensure that the clean up crew is thoroughly searched, including cavity searches, to account for all items that may have been inadvertently redistributed to the wrong recipients.

The People™ should be thankful for lame duck.

I can has redistributed hamburger? Failing that, fired lame duck is good, too. Very nice with beets and horseradish.

The lame duck is still "smiling"...

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:

Biff Henderson wrote:This goes out to all of my most gracious expounders of Current Truth™

Collisions of diametrically opposed yet perfectly valid versions of the Current Truth™ ends up with hamburger all over the highway. Every day I thank the curly cues on Dear Leader's head he provided us with the shovels to keep AmeriKKKa beautiful. You missed a spot - Didn't! - Did so! And so it goes.

I struggle to understand how there can be diametrically opposed versions of the Current Truth™. Since The Party™ decides what is the Current Truth™ and The Party™ never disagrees with itself, how is it possible for Current Truth™ to oppose Current Truth™? That would seem to me to be an impossibility.

The Party™, much like the Pope, is infallible and, therefore, cannot possibly oppose itself.

As for hamburgers all over the highway, that is a luxury that The Party™ can ill afford to fall into the wrong hands. We must ensure that the clean up crew is thoroughly searched, including cavity searches, to account for all items that may have been inadvertently redistributed to the wrong recipients.

The People™ should be thankful for lame duck.

Any fungible, let's take hamburger for example, can be offered up in various ways without changing it's essence. It is the base ingredient in a cannibal sandwich as well as the patty melt. The discerning palette would not mistake one for another nor would the interations be freely interchanged without notice. Both are perfectly valid unto themselves yet distinct and separate from one another (I would go so far as to say that to the palette they are diametrically opposed in the mouth feel department) despite the fact they where derived from a fungible that has not be altered in any appreciable way. Dear Leader and the Blessed offer up the Current Truth™ and the People™ fail the Party™ owned to the crudeness of their palette. It is the People™ that are the cause of the carnage. Reeducation camps are the cure.

You started a post with "fungible"? It's a damned good thing you ended with reeducation camps. I was almost concerned we were being monitored or infiltrated.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:You started a post with "fungible"? It's a damned good thing you ended with reeducation camps. I was almost concerned we were being monitored or infiltrated.

A valid concern, comrade.

In any case, if the conversation must needs incorporate "fungibles", I have a post about mushrooms here.

A hamburger with mushroom and swiss does sound appetizing.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:You started a post with "[highlight=#ffff00]fungible[/highlight]"? It's a damned good thing you ended with reeducation camps. I was almost concerned we were being monitored or infiltrated.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

I was deep into a bottle of Absinthe when this was posted. I was sure as rain fungible was in The People's Glossary™. I thought to myself, that's odd, but so much of the vernacular is so let's try to fit in. There is no fun in fungible. Message received loud and clear.

Biff Henderson wrote:I was deep into a bottle of Absinthe when this was posted. I was sure as rain fungible was in The People's Glossary™. I thought to myself, that's odd, but so much of the vernacular is so let's try to fit in. There is no fun in fungible. Message received loud and clear.

Comrade Biff, the only inappropriate language is that which is considered inappropriate in any other polite, family-friendly forum. The Party™ does not look with disdain upon advanced rhetorical devices. In fact, The Party™ embraces them. Observe Deer Leader as an example. Any words that Party™ members find difficult to understand will be simply redefined so all Party™ members may be treated equally. This is, in essence, what being fungible is all about and it fits very nicely with re-education.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:

Biff Henderson wrote:I was deep into a bottle of Absinthe when this was posted. I was sure as rain fungible was in The People's Glossary™. I thought to myself, that's odd, but so much of the vernacular is so let's try to fit in. There is no fun in fungible. Message received loud and clear.

Comrade Biff, the only inappropriate language is that which is considered inappropriate in any other polite, family-friendly forum. The Party™ does not look with disdain upon advanced rhetorical devices. In fact, The Party™ embraces them. Observe Deer Leader as an example. Any words that Party™ members find difficult to understand will be simply redefined so all Party™ members may be treated equally. [highlight=#ffff00]This is, in essence, what being fungible is all about and it fits very nicely with re-education[/highlight].

Absinthe has a strange effect on me. It enables me to apply rhetorical absolutes that compliment the narrative without fully comprehending their significance. Credit where credit is due. To be of the People™ members of the Party™ strive to be interchangeable cogs for The Greater Good™. I have only to listen to Dear Leader to clear up any misunderstandings and take my place among equals. Glorious!

Biff Henderson wrote:Absinthe has a strange effect on me. It enables me to apply rhetorical absolutes that compliment the narrative without fully comprehending their significance. Credit where credit is due. To be of the People™ members of the Party™ strive to be interchangeable cogs for The Greater Good™. I have only to listen to Dear Leader to clear up any misunderstandings and take my place among equals. Glorious!

You learn quickly, comrade. It will serve you well!

FORWARD!