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News We Don't Have Time To Write About (archive)

4/19/2017, 5:21 am
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Prog comeback - the Ossoff Revolution - postponed. Inexplicable.
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4/19/2017, 5:21 am
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Nazi : Any dust speck to the right of Karl Marx.
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4/22/2017, 7:22 pm
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Speakers at the March for Science denounce modern civilization, demand a return to a simpler time.
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4/22/2017, 7:30 pm
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Bernie Sanders delivers stunning vision of People's agrarian reform for scientific 2020 campaign
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4/26/2017, 1:55 am
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Yurop, headlines: Obama for Macron! Hooray, usual death kiss?
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5/1/2017, 9:06 pm
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Picture of a blizzard of student snowflakes dressed as polar bears for science in a university safe space next to a white rock going for $2,000,000:

blizzard of student snowflakes.gif
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5/5/2017, 5:07 pm
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"A communist seeks conditions to end the state entirely and have all human society collectively managed."
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5/7/2017, 11:42 am
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Maduro says Venezuelans will die from MaduroCare overhaul
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5/8/2017, 3:06 pm
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Gun store goes into lockdown over report an "active university professor" roving the grounds.
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5/10/2017, 11:28 pm
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Disturbing numbers of the "Alumniati" reported gathering around college campuses for member rituals
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mi
5/17/2017, 2:02 pm
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Snowden and Manning denounce Trump's sharing classified information with Russia.
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5/18/2017, 4:30 pm
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Trump nominates Ivanka for FBI Director.
Points to suffragette aura.
Feminists enraged.
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5/20/2017, 3:04 pm
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Leaked Comey memo reveals identity of second gunman on grassy knoll
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5/20/2017, 6:22 pm
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Melania & Ivanka Trump arrive in Saudi Arabia sans headscarves; Berkeley students protest lack of cultural appropriation.

https://www.cnn.com/2017/05/20/politics ... index.html
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5/23/2017, 3:14 pm
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windturbine the whales.jpg

The poop.
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5/23/2017, 8:05 pm
Six year girl wounded in Manchester, England terrorist attack sentenced to life imprisonment for crying, "Why do Muslims have to hurt people?"
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5/27/2017, 9:28 pm
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Climate change caused human civilization about 10,000 years ago. The Left has been pissed off about it ever since.
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5/29/2017, 5:25 am
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Breakthrough in German Energiewende.
Solar farms to produce reliably, by 24/7 floodlighting them.
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5/29/2017, 6:54 pm
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Tiger Woods DUI.png

BREAKING: Drunk Tiger Woods kills English zookeeper; Trump ignores tragedy to deliver speech
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6/10/2017, 3:34 pm
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CNN: Washington Post's anonymous sources say Putin may have ties to Russia
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6/10/2017, 6:20 pm
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Oops: One-and-a-half million Euros disappears in a quick puff of French taxes US expat climate scientists find
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6/11/2017, 2:01 pm
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Everyone in America to get subpoenaed, "requested" to preserve everything they wrote or recorded about President Trump and his comments about Muslims, Christians or refugees, in Doe v. Trump court case.
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6/11/2017, 10:09 pm
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London celebrates diversity of the terrorist murder victims.
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6/14/2017, 5:30 pm
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"Resistance" is a dog whistle for assassination.
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6/17/2017, 1:26 pm
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Cuba's imperial Viceroy of Venezuela Nicolas Maduro accuses US VP Pence of imperialism for pointing out that Venezuela is a wreck because of Cuba's colonization of that country.
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6/18/2017, 9:32 pm
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The worst capitalism is better than the best communism.
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6/20/2017, 1:41 pm
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BREAKING: TMZ offers Kathy Griffin $5 mil to keep any future sex tape private
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6/20/2017, 4:12 pm
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To understand the Obama Presidential Library visualize a great big multimillion-dollar paper shredder.
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6/22/2017, 8:01 pm
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In light of recent elections the Democrats new Campaign Finance Reform package: The candidate that raises the most money should win.
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6/23/2017, 2:04 pm
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John "Dillinger" Depp threatens POTUS with death by actor, shortly after actors act out killing Trump Caesar. Surely Trump Moby Dick production will face similar controversy.
DTMD.png
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6/23/2017, 9:57 pm
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Feds to charge Democratic party for willful destruction of millions of dollars. "It's against the law to willfully throw money away or destroy it by burning it up as they have been in recent elections," stated the Federal Reserve official.
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6/24/2017, 8:43 pm
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Democrats accuse Republicans of using their Russia investigation against Trump to raise money, win elections.
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6/25/2017, 8:20 pm
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NYT Movie Review: Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power" humanity's last, best chance to save the Earth before it ends five years ago.
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6/25/2017, 9:25 pm
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Why is it that the more we embrace diversity the more everything is the same?
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6/26/2017, 3:10 am
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GOP Senators: "We need more time on healthcare; seven years wasn't nearly enough."
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6/26/2017, 3:15 am
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WaPo: Pelosi, Schumer to share this one weird trick of passing massive bills no one has time to read with GOP counterparts for three easy payments of $34.95 mil
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6/26/2017, 4:38 pm
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Reagan ended our detente with the Soviet Union. Should the United States now end detente with... the democratic party?
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6/28/2017, 4:30 pm
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CNN: The Most Busted Name in News
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6/28/2017, 4:35 pm
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2017 marks the 100th anniversary printing of the Lenin and Stalin cookbook, To Serve Man.
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6/30/2017, 9:44 pm
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Trump Cuba Policy: We're going to restrict the freedom of Americans to show that restricting the freedom of Cubans is bad.
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7/1/2017, 8:07 am
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New DNC slogan: Give us more government or everyone dies!

Alternate: Vote for Democrats--or everyone dies!

Impeach Trump--or everyone dies!

And so forth.
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7/2/2017, 5:22 am
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NYT: Anonymous sources at CNN confirm via teletype Jeff Zucker offering Dan Rather multi-million dollar contract to be new VP of Journalistic Standards & Practices
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7/2/2017, 1:01 pm
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"The Progressive Liberal" has been reduced to pro wrestling villain
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7/4/2017, 10:03 pm
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CO2 causes a Dark matter imbalance inverting the Dark energy of atmospheric radiation of the earth to spiral out of scientists control and Trump the Dark Lord is to blame, claims Stephen Hawking.
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7/5/2017, 3:43 pm
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The CNN logo is the new image of Mohamed.
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7/7/2017, 4:26 pm
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CNN, The Most Trusted Name in Fake News
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7/8/2017, 10:14 pm
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The New York Times moves to vacant offices in the upper stories of their building because of expected flooding from global warming per their own reports
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7/8/2017, 10:15 pm
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New York Times cuts payroll to free capital for Palin lawsuit settlement
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7/8/2017, 10:17 pm
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Obama stays out of the country in hopes of the statue of limitations expiring on crimes committed in his first two years
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7/9/2017, 5:27 pm
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Trump (leaving Hamburg) to Merkel: But why, the heck, did you stage that G20 thing in Aleppo?
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7/9/2017, 9:26 pm
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France to finally "ban all production of crappy ugly funny-looking French cars and only allow production of cool trendy cars that are not an embarrassment to France, thank you very much."
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7/10/2017, 4:33 pm
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Breaking: As of Saturday July 8, 2017, all of Earth's ecosystems have shut down as per Prince Charles' super scientific pronouncement made 96 months ago. Everything is dead. All is lost. Life on Earth is no more.
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7/11/2017, 4:42 pm
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James Comey announces that "even though my handling of classified information was extremely careless and led to the compromise of classified information my intent was not to break the law. Recent legal precedent by the former FBI head proves that my actions do not rise to the level that a reasonable prosecutor would find prosecutable."
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7/12/2017, 4:36 pm
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It is no accident that “The New York Times” is a perfect anagram of “The Monkeys Write.”
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7/12/2017, 9:33 pm
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BREAKING: CNN anonymous source reveals existence of 150-year-old telegram linking Trump family to Seward's purchase of Alaska from Czarist Russia
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7/13/2017, 2:19 pm
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In power the Democrats conduct The Permanent Campaign, out of power they conduct The Permanent Scandal.
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7/15/2017, 8:46 pm
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Mueller's evidence against President Trump is so classified we will never know what they impeached him for. "You're going to have to trust us on this."
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7/16/2017, 2:00 pm
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Pelosi: "We have to impeach the president to find out what we impeached the president for."
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7/17/2017, 11:27 am
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Schumer: "We need to impeach Trump to stop the Statue of Liberty from crying, rusting, and falling into the harbor."
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7/17/2017, 6:10 pm
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BREAKING: Michael Moore's chair
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7/19/2017, 8:10 am
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NYT/CNN poll: 98% of Americans favor repealing & replacing GOP
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7/23/2017, 1:39 pm
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The workers and peasants of America abandon Trump, flock to the Democrats new and improved central planning of the economy: "A Better Deal: Better Jobs, Better Wages, Better Future”
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7/27/2017, 7:59 pm
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CNN/NYT Poll: 99.98% of journalists, celebrities demand Schumer/Pelosi love child as solution to DNC's sinking popularity
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8/1/2017, 5:51 pm
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BOMBSHELL: Al Gore identifies as Mother Earth, will use profits from 'An Inconvenient Sequel' to fund sex change
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8/1/2017, 6:01 pm
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Shocking revelation from 'An Inconvenient Sequel': Climate Change is Russian plot to influence American elections
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8/3/2017, 12:43 pm
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CNN: We must bring America into the 21st century by replacing the 18th century Constitution with 19th century poetry.
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8/3/2017, 1:11 pm
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The question is never about the answer, the question is about the revolution:

shrunken headlines.jpg
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8/4/2017, 4:51 pm
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Mueller empanells Grand Jury made up entirely of CNN, NYT, and WaPo editorial boards.
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8/4/2017, 4:56 pm
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A growing conundrum throughout the land: It's illegal to not have health insurance, but there are no policies legal to buy.
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8/5/2017, 11:49 am
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People's State of Oregon Science Board: Carbon emissions from uncontrolled fire in People's Crater Lake Park "good", carbon footprint from new Boeing 747 Firebomber "bad"; therefore plane must not be used.
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8/5/2017, 11:57 am
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MSM Shocker! Imran Awan is actually Trump Administration secret Russian Connection.
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8/9/2017, 2:53 am
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Renowned Silicon Valley company officially starts its special department - GOOGLAG.
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8/9/2017, 2:55 am
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TransMan bears little person, declares xem boy.
ACLU enraged: "boy"? How dare xe dictate xyrs gender?
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8/9/2017, 2:57 am
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Trump pulled out of Paris.
Hitler pulled out of Paris.
Trump = Hitler. _QED
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8/12/2017, 9:09 pm
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Asked if they could point to North Korea on a map many college students didn't know what a map is.
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8/15/2017, 9:27 pm
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Hillary signs $3.2 mil endorsement deal with Hoveround®: "I wish I'd had one of these during the campaign!"
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8/20/2017, 3:54 pm
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New Poll: 100% of Antifa Membership believes everything ever printed by CNN. Burns down Lincoln Memorial in celebration of Group Think ™.
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8/20/2017, 4:48 pm
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Hillary Clinton organizes RESIST! fertility rite during eclipse in Madras, Oregon, in order to take advantage of Oregon's Free Abortions For All law. 96% turnout expected.
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8/21/2017, 11:48 am
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MSNBC poll: Majority of Antifa Freedom Fighters not aware that disgusting violence,er, People's Rallies, can be considered examples of free speech. Chris Matthews declares "President Obama would be so proud that I feel tingles in my private parts".
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8/21/2017, 7:11 pm
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CNN: Donald Trump destroys renewable energy industry by devouring sun
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