Komrades!
Personal beet quotas are of utter importance, and the kollektive beet yield a most significant zeal indicator for our beloved Politbyuro (plus our stern normirovshchiki)!

But do your language skills, too, march vanward with the ongoing further progress of Politbyuro direktives? Your proglomsomol vocabulary up to date?


Komrade!
Check for unblemished korrektness & kompliance of your personal linguo-habits in all matters related to our kollektive Planetary Klimate! NOW!

Are YOU aware of NewKlim?
~

NewKlim:
A dialectic synthesis of GretAngstBabble, UNwifflewaffle and MerkeLinguoVapor. Strongly influenced by SciApocalWeasel and InconvTruthChitchat. Hysterically Courageously amplified via ShournAllGab, PolitRukDrone, ExperTattle, LobbYakyak, GreenPissBang, CeleBlather, you-name-it.


Freshly introduced by The Guardian, here the 1.) .. 6.) essentials (+ a few emphases/notes):

1.) “climate emergency” or “climate crisis” to be used instead of “climate change”
‘Climate change' is no longer considered to accurately reflect the seriousness of the overall situation; use climate emergency or climate crisis instead to describe the broader impact of climate change. However, use [highlight=#ffff00]climate breakdown[/highlight] or [highlight=#ffff00]climate change[/highlight] or [highlight=#ffff00]global heating[/highlight] when [highlight=#ffff00]describing it specifically in a scientific or geophysical sense[/highlight] [...] .[btw, Holdren's (= Obama + Science Adviser) 'climate disruption' somehow didn't stick (since 2007)]

2.) “climate science denier” or “climate denier” to be used instead of “climate sceptic”
The OED defines a sceptic as “a seeker of the truth; an inquirer who has not yet arrived at definite conclusions”. Most “climate sceptics”, in the face of overwhelming scientific evidence, deny climate change is happening, or is caused by human activity, so ‘denier' is more accurate. .[ahem, ahem.. semantic equilibristics in fullest blow]

3.) Use “global heating” not “global warming”
‘Global heating' is more scientifically accurate. Greenhouse gases form an atmospheric blanket that stops the [highlight=#ffff00]sun's heat escaping back to space.[/highlight] .[sheer bunkum]

4.) “greenhouse gas emissions” is preferred to “carbon emissions” or “carbon dioxide emissions”. Although ‘carbon emissions' is not inaccurate, if we're talking about all gases that warm the atmosphere, this term recognises all of the climate-damaging gases, including methane, nitrogen oxides, CFCs etc. .[as 'warming' kinda stopped (since '98), switch to 'change'; as 'CO₂' goes in doubt, switch to 'gases'; etc.]

5.) Use “wildlife”, not “biodiversity”
We felt [jawohl! ze 'feelink'!] that ‘wildlife' is a much more accessible word and is fair to use in many stories, and is a bit less clinical when talking about all the creatures with whom we share the planet.

6.) Use “fish populations” instead of “fish stocks”
This change emphasises that fish [ja! ze 'feelink'!] do not exist solely to be harvested by humans – they play a vital role in the natural health of the oceans. .[coldly 'fish population(s)'? outrage! 'fish kollektiv(es)' it is!]

They only failed on
7.) Use “???????” instead of “carbon”

Of course, "???????"

= "Luciferon"

= "Allahuakbaron"

= "Donaltrumputleron"

= "[... now-your-ideas-here ...]"

[/indentr]
(But comrades of The Guardian will surely close that gap on their own, soon.)


And of course, there is still room for even stronger aktivnye myeropriyatiya, active measures:

"global heating"? bullshit, "global overboiling"!
"climate emergency/crisis"? bollocks, "climate rupture/explosion"! "klimkatastrophia"!
"climate denier/science denier"? bellyflop, "klimkulak"! "sci rapist"! "white supremacist"!

Komrades, further progressive suggestions?

Jawohl!

Any comrade not tackling it now - march, march, to Umiat, Alaska!

[/indentr]

The Guardian had 'pelipsky at 'interrogate'...just misty eyed, GD...misty eyed about a new round of mental acid jiggle bath interrogations to sanity.

Yes, yes, Komrade Viner, I am off to tackle the climate crisis! Now! Immediately! Only one thing ... where on this climate crisis does one do the tackling? It appears to have no legs.

RedDiaperette wrote:. . . Only one thing ... where on this climate crisis does one do the tackling? It appears to have no legs.

So, for a microsecond, I thought of "mayhap paws?"

But then, mein Marx, what a Blödsinn, you dummkopf! (I reasoned, typico second thought). Blödsinn, because: if klimate had paws, it sure as hell would leave pawprints all over the environment, ja? But no single IPCC model has ever detected such (it's always footprints and footprints only!)

jackalopelipsky wrote:...misty eyed about a new round of mental acid jiggle bath interrogations to sanity.

They, The Guardian, they surely must get the same mental perestroika as the one you dream of.
Look, already the title of that Guardian effusion:

'It's a crisis, not a change':

[/indentr][/indentr]

the six Guardian language changes

[/indentr][/indentr]

on climate matters

[/indentr][/indentr][/indentr]
So, the precious Klimate is not in change, but in crisis.
And therefore Guardian language needs a change, but - Marx forbid! - not a crisis, ja?

Only a decisive shock therapy, administered with a solid club, will be of help in this pathetic case.

A miserable old crow at 16

She should be wearing the GAIA Hat to protect Mother Earth. There used to be a YouTube video explaining the GAIA Hat and where/how to get one, but apparently Mother-Earth-Haters must have hacked into Google's News Quantum Computer (with 50 Qubits) and erased the Mother-Earth-Friendly video with instructions, but someone saved it in the WayBack Machine to preserve it for posterity (if there were to be any posterity at all) Click-here-for-the-GAIA-Hat-video.

--Gorbels Cube

Gorbels Cube wrote:... GAIA Hat to protect Mother Earth .. Click-here-for-the-GAIA-Hat-video.

--Gorbels Cube

By Stalin's smile, I've been touched by the Supremest Supreme! Only now do I fully understand, where these Green Kubes come from. Me, touched by Gorbel's Cube, that has been created by God, to whom Al Gore spake, giving him all the needed instructions!

Of course I will wear your Planet-rescuing GAIA HAT (I'll take two for $19.95), and also push it (according to my ability) among the transatlantic folks here (with no regard according to their needs).
And can't wait for the next Solar Eclipse performed by The Gorbels Cube heroically orbiting our precious international fluids and environments!



Komrade Gorbels Cube, red-hot Komsomol salutes for your Beams Of Enlightenment!
I would share my evening's kasha with you (hadn't I already gobbled it up, slurping-n-smacking like a famished boar).

Some Internet thought-kriminal:

What of "Carbon Credits" though? ===>>> "climate savior credits"

One who acts to halt the crisis shall amass "carbon savior credits"?

Surely it's not a capitalist scum enterprise right...???

Jawohl, Komrade Batyushka Vissarionovich Tryetiy!

Oh, so much to improve... And so little time!

... With today's emissions levels, that remaining CO2 budget
....will be entirely gone within less than 8 1/2 years. ― St. Greta Svanteovich Thunberg

IPCC? → Klimayatollah!
IPCC model? → Klimayatollah taqiyya!
IPCC scenario? → Klimayatollah hadith!
IPCC prediction? → Klimayatollah fatwah!

"climate denier"? → Nazi!
"science denier"? → Nazi!
"klimkulak"? → Nazi!
"sci rapist"? → Nazi!

Komrades!
Global Klimkatastrophia is, like, totally upon us!

Chilean reactionists cancelled COP25, the Planetary Holy Klimate Powwow 2019, just like that!

Remember, Komrades?
Under the historically unprecedented goosestep of Glorious Lightbringer Barack Barackovich, . such apocalypse would never had happened!

Saint Greta, NOW WHAT ???????

Komrades!
Diktator Drumpf did it!
Treasonous act against our Planet!

PariClimAgreExit! .PariClimAgreExit! .PariClimAgreExit!


(1:36) Accord de Paris, piloted by UNFCCC, takes off:

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Jawohl, Komrade Batyushka Vissarionovich Tryetiy!

Oh, so much to improve... And so little time!

... With today's emissions levels, that remaining CO2 budget
....will be entirely gone within less than 8 1/2 years. ― St. Greta Svanteovich Thunberg

Less than 8 1/2 years?? Iffin's Trumputler is removed from power source, would KlimCal remain static on that glorious day forever? Stop the KlimCal of destruction and The Glorious World of Next Tuesday will remain Tuesday forever. And all those Carbon Savior Credits will be FREE!

As St. Greta sets sail on a catamaran (route Virginia→Portugal), Germany, the planetary führer of Klimatism, urges UN to mandate a transition of the whole global fleet to catamaran technology (deadline 2030).

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:As St. Greta sets sail on a catamaran (route Virginia→Portugal), Germany, the planetary führer of Klimatism, urges UN to mandate a transition of the whole global fleet to catamaran technology (deadline 2030).

Shouldn't St. Greta be in ...like...school??? Where are the Attendance KKKommissars?

'pelipsky
Russian Agent
#BR 549

jackalopelipsky wrote:

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:As St. Greta sets sail on a catamaran (route Virginia→Portugal), Germany, the planetary führer of Klimatism, urges UN to mandate a transition of the whole global fleet to catamaran technology (deadline 2030).

Shouldn't St. Greta be in ...like...school??? Where are the Attendance KKKommissars?

'pelipsky
Russian Agent
#BR 549

[OFF]
Hard to go to school in Sweden when she's shanghaied herself to America. I've heard of walking 50 miles uphill both ways in the snow to school, but swimming thousands of miles!?

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:

Gorbels Cube wrote:... GAIA Hat to protect Mother Earth .. Click-here-for-the-GAIA-Hat-video.

--Gorbels Cube

By Stalin's smile, I've been touched by the Supremest Supreme! Only now do I fully understand, where these Green Kubes come from. Me, touched by Gorbel's Cube, that has been created by God, to whom Al Gore spake, giving him all the needed instructions!

Of course I will wear your Planet-rescuing GAIA HAT (I'll take two for $19.95), and also push it (according to my ability) among the transatlantic folks here (with no regard according to their needs).
And can't wait for the next Solar Eclipse performed by The Gorbels Cube heroically orbiting our precious international fluids and environments!



Komrade Gorbels Cube, red-hot Komsomol salutes for your Beams Of Enlightenment!
I would share my evening's kasha with you (hadn't I already gobbled it up, slurping-n-smacking like a famished boar).

FORWARDS TO TOTAL INTERNATIONAL EQUALITY OF KLIMATE!

My Dear Komrade Genosse Dummkopf,

Having had the duty to perform engineering updates for orbital stability inside the Gorbels Cube soon after my post to you on October 21, 2019, I had failed to become aware of your October 22, 2019 total embrace of the Green Cube, and thus I have been indefensibly unappreciative of your actions. To make amends, I've made arrangements for a GoreMobile to be delivered to you so you can travel in style and in conformity with the Mother-Earth-Protecting technology I invented to power the GoreMobile. It's easy to learn to drive it, but the instruction video is somewhat long and tedious (as is sometimes the process of refueling), but it's worth it to save Mother Earth from conventional fuel sources. Here's he instruction video, which used to be on YouTube, but somehow a hacking team working for a Mother-Earth-Hating oil-company hacked into Google and forced Google to cancel that video. But, fear not, it's still available on Vimeo right here.

I hope this gift makes up for my oversight, but at least I was working diligently on the orbital mechanics for the Gorbels Cube.

--Gorbels Cube

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:

jackalopelipsky wrote:

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:As St. Greta sets sail on a catamaran (route Virginia→Portugal), Germany, the planetary führer of Klimatism, urges UN to mandate a transition of the whole global fleet to catamaran technology (deadline 2030).

Shouldn't St. Greta be in ...like...school??? Where are the Attendance KKKommissars?

'pelipsky
Russian Agent
#BR 549

[OFF]
Hard to go to school in Sweden when she's shanghaied herself to America. I've heard of walking 50 miles uphill both ways in the snow to school, but swimming thousands of miles!?

Shanghaied herself to Amerikkka? 'pelipsky guesses it was unnecessary to Shanghai herself to ...like Shanghai...because as every Comrade knows Shanghai is already Communist. Besides, what's the point of learning anything if tomorrow is on endangered species list....like the polar bear.

Gorbels Cube wrote: My Dear Komrade Genosse Dummkopf,

... had the duty to perform engineering updates for orbital stability inside the Gorbels Cube ...

... made arrangements for a GoreMobile to be delivered to you so you can travel in style ...

... easy to learn to drive it, but the instruction .. is somewhat long and tedious ...

... Here's the instruction video, ... still available on Vimeo ...

--Gorbels Cube

Most esteemed Komrade Gorbels Cube,

Your GoreMobile prospectus is GoreGeous! (and LONG LIVE THE GLORY OF LIMERICK!)
The technomagicological aura of that thingamagimmick takes literally one's breath away.

No wonder, your words:

Gorbels Cube wrote:... I've made arrangements for a GoreMobile to be delivered to you so you can travel in style and in conformity with the Mother-Earth-Protecting technology I invented to power the GoreMobile ...

caused an outbreak of exuberant enthusiasm in the whole barrack! All comrades here pledged to save daily a spoon of their evening kasha, thereby creating a basic resource stock. Once your GoreMobile arrives, a Slurp-n-Gobble Fiesta will be started here, and the kasha stock wolfed down, thusly preloading the generators of GoreMobile fuel!

To hear that you work on orbital enhancements of the Gorbels Cube makes my chest swell with pride. Yes, like Lyubov Orlova's revolutionary bosom im Mystery-1 video-4 @2:55! (or go to YT).

I hope you had a chance to consult and be blessed with enlightened advice of Santa Greta, right before she put out to sea in ecstatic devotion to COP25. Santa G is renowned for her unprecedented mastery in all matters Klimato-Moralin-Enviro-Futuro-Sciencey (while Planeto-Galactic Engineering is merely a subdiscipline of the vast field of expertise just mentioned).

Btw, how about integrating DDT into the orbiting Gorbels Cube? DDT, the Denier Detection Transfocator - like the one built-in into St. Greta's San Fran mural:



Dear Komrade Gorbels Cube,

Your devotion to serve Humanity & Klimate merits highest praises. The Glorious March of Humanity Towards a Carbon-Free Planet will NOT be stopped! KKKapitalizm, do you listen?

No doubt, you most equally deserve the "Savior of Mother Earth" Prize (created by the Nobel Prize Committee, and merging all categories of their prizes into a single one, as already reported).

FOR A GAIA FREE OF WHITE SUPREMACISM AND LUSH WITH INCLUSIVE KLIMATE JUSTICE !

-- GD


P.S.
In the meantime (and burning with impatience for our Fiesta!), I designed a GoreMobile variant to serve our growing - here in Chermaniyah - kollektive of freshly breezing in followers of Allahuakbar PBUH:

(detail of glorious work by most equal Supercommissar Maksim,
but - Trotsky's icepick be damned - can't locate where he used it in TPC ;
alas, the world knows that oeuvre...)

[/indentr][/indentr][/indentr]

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
***

To Gorbels Cube:

No doubt, you most equally deserve the "Savior of Mother Earth" Prize (created by the Nobel Prize Committee, and merging all categories of their prizes into a single one, as already reported).

***

In the meantime (and burning with impatience for our Fiesta!), I designed a GoreMobile variant to serve our growing - here in Chermaniyah - kollektive of freshly breezing in followers of Allahuakbar PBUH:

Dear Comrade Genosse Dummkopf,

You creation of the "GoreMobile Burka" makes it indisputable that you are almost as great an Inventive Genius as am I, Al Gore, the Greatest Inventor. But I must give some credit to Washington DC, because it was DeeCee's overhauling of its sewage-treatment system to refine human waste and convert it into fuel that inspired me to adapt such fueling system to the GoreMobile. So, the Deep State's Deep S**t in DeeCee deserves at least honorable mention, so I archived in the WayBack Machine the news article trumpeting DeeCee's municipal project for converting human waste into fuel.

Since you have wholeheartedly embraced the Correct Global Warming Climate Change Klimate Change Speculation Scientific Fact, I have no doubt you will be glad that I also gave Greta Thunberg a GoreMobile and I have no doubt from the expression on her face as she re-fills the tank that she has been strictly adhering to the Mother-Earth-Friendly Vegan Diet recommended by Alexandria Ocasio Cortez so that she (Greta) will be sure to get 50 miles to the movement.




--Gorbels Cube

..pant ..pant ..pant ..pant - gasp..... :
even before attentively reading Komrade Gorbels' freshly baked transmission, now this, of 1898:




It's already all over the globe!

Komrades!
Before you start studying Twitter, acknowledge that we deal here with a complex plot, artfully braided by Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, and Alexander Semyonovich Vindman Windbag!

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:..pant ..pant ..pant ..pant - gasp..... :
even before attentively reading Komrade Gorbels' freshly baked transmission, now this, of 1898:

Given the incredible likeness, the date is off by 120 years. It was 2008 because Greta is obviously a child of Vladimir Putin.

It was part of the Great Impregnation, which began soon after a Russian lawmaker proposed legislation for a way to enable Russian Womem to receive Putin's sperm (here or here). Russian engineers and artists promptly collaborated to implement this proposal:


(For a larger version, click the image above, but for a much larger version, click here.)



I rest my case.

--KOOK

It's OK Greta, we've all been there.

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Some Internet thought-kriminal:

How (pardon me for culturally misappropriating Elizabeth Warren's standard indigenously correct "hello" greeting into an Anglo-Centric question) did I miss this???

This picture From the Future showing that Greta survived is conclusive proof to those of us still "Back in the Past" that AOC is destined to become President in 2020, just in time for Greta to also become World Klimate Czar and enable the two of them together to Save the World from Global Warming -- Otherwise, human civilization could not have survived until 2065. How joyous to learn human civilization will survive.

Thus, it since the picture of Greta in 2065 shows her "One More Month," it's obviously a reference to her intention to hand-over control of the world to her Granddaughter who will save the world by re-introducing C02 into the atmosphere to counter the Mini-Ice-Age that began soon after she and AOC ascended to power in 2020.

--KOOK

Gorbels Cube wrote:... I also gave Greta Thunberg a GoreMobile and [highlight=#ffff00]I have no doubt from the expression on her face as she re-fills the tank[/highlight] that she has been strictly adhering to the Mother-Earth-Friendly Vegan Diet recommended by Alexandria Ocasio Cortez ...

Supremely greenified Komrade Gorbels Cube,

Exactly my thoughts, too, as I laid eyes on your latest visual indoctrination, most equal Komrade.
Yes, St. Greta's dedication and travail faithfully mirrors Al Gore's wild determination as he exerts himself to generate the progressive fuel for Green Mobility - the latter minutely documented in the famous GoreMobile instruction video.

St. Greta's visibly strained devotion - each Revolution costs sacrifice, no? - embodies the Marxist-Leninist ideal of each and every single proletarian owning the means - his/her/hyx personal means!- of production.


And we - the Kollektive - also hail the heroic DeeCee P2P (Poop-2-Power) operators!


-- GD



P.S.
How about a GoreMobile for piff-eyed Alexicaligrandia Occasional Cortex?

Just think of the PR boost: AOC arrives before the Capitol, mikes erect, cameras start susurrating, AOC opens the door - and demonstrates TRA-LA-LA, The Refuelling Act in Lazy Accumulation and Light-speed Amassment (the two extreme operating modes of Gore-refuelling). Eh?

KOOK wrote:... Greta is obviously a child of Vladimir Putin.

It was part of the Great Impregnation .. enabl[ing] Russian Womem to receive Putin's sperm ...

So, now everything is illuminated. The essential troika in our planet's history is complete:
Great Oxygenation Event ― Great Impregnation Surge ― Great Extinction Armageddon.

And now, meine Damen und Herren Genossinnen und Genossen, transatlantically from the foot of the Alps – straight outta beautiful München.

Alias: vee haf vays to transmit non-verbally, too – says NewKlim:


Thugs bully Munich Conference Center – Cancellation of Climate Skeptic Conference

(from WUWT, WattsUpWithThat, the excellent blog for all things around climate research 2000 ;
its report starts, most correctly: Just like the 1930s, and again Munich ...)


General "googling" the topic: Munich Climate Skeptic Conference 2019 cancelled.


Climate Scientists Reduced to Hiding from Climate Thuggery in Germany

(report of a participant, James Taylor of The Heartland Institute)

PPPRROGRRRRRESSS!

From the tremendously glorious GM Model 2012: . (← hilarious 3 min. instruction inside!)



via its 2019 enhancement:



and Kubo-Koranic adaptation:



to (kinda minutes ago) Townhall: